Face-to-Face vs Virtual "Friends"

Have just been talking with some about this. Thanks for bringing it up!

My filter generally requires at least one in person meeting and mini conversation at least. For those are at distance disadvantage, I tend to have email talks with them and over Biztalk posts get to know them as well. Eventually, I may add them at my discretion.

Yes, I am selective about who I add. There are about 20 people in my request box whom I haven't added yet b/c I haven't yet met them in person or had much interaction with them. I keep them there in the event that the future may connect us in person and then I may go back and add them.

Great post! Thanks for the share.

Blessings,
Amy
interior decorator/space therapist

An incredibly important topic, Christian. And so many different ways of looking at it.

I just had this very same discussion (online) with a fellow biznik.

In this day and age, and with the global reach of biznik, for me it does not make sense to limit my network to people I have met in person. I can think of several east coast people I feel very connected to, yet we have never seen each other's "live" faces. And, on the other hand, I have met people at events here locally that I do not necessarily feel like immediately asking to join my network.

Complicating things more is the issue of what does being in a network mean to each biznik. I would say that there are vastly different definitions and criteria, depending on the person.

Thanks for introducing this subject. I'm sure there will be lots of different opinions on this.

I unfortunately do not have a lot of spare time so I rarely get to attend any Biznik events.

If a person has a product or service that I am interested in or is a possible contact for a future project sometime down the road I will add/ask them to network.

My main use of the networking feature is to add people with the hopes of working/talking with them at some point or learning more via their articles.

Good topic Christian.

One of the features I wish that Biznik would roll-out is a network classification. For instance I don't consider anyone "in my network" unless I have received an endorsement from them.

There is going to be a lot of education in this regard over the next two years: sites like Linkedin and Facebook have contradicting networking platforms compared to Biznik.

Twitter is a another good example: who I follow or who follows me is fairly irrelevant as a basic metric. Who I converse with and who I do not converse with is another.

I drive many folk insane trying to monitor my own network because I say "Aha, great tweet" and then pick up my cell phone or zip off an e-mail to them. Unfortunately most of my ideas generally take longer than using even the embedded mail functionality of Biznik makes sense for.

I am also an odd-duck compared to many. Most of my professional contacts I have not met in person before (but we sure do chat up a storm!)

Great topic Christian. Although I would love to meet each of my networkers I haven't yet done so. I suppose I use intuition when asking someone to join my network. They are often people I enjoy speaking with on a regular basis, or I feel I may have some referrals for or will work with in the future. Peace.

For me, being 300 miles away from most of you, the in person connection may not happen. When I ask someone to be in my network, it is because I want to hire them in the future or refer business to them - because they have given me helpful information and proved themselves to be a trusted resource. Since I upholster and slip cover furniture, make bags and sewing patterns, I doubt that anyone here would want to network with me for the purpose of having me slipcover their living room someday or remember where to buy a sewing pattern. If you let me in though, there may be business in it for you down the road.

Christian...

RE: "... people ... who will not accept an "Add to Network" request from someone they have not met in person."

Here is my viewpoint.

A key to business success is maintaining a network of associations or connections with other people. To accomplish great things, we need mutual support from others that have a combination of talents and skills.

How many connections do you really need?

Friends usually begin with a connection of some sort. And with most people, all things being equal, do business with their friends.

Every friendship has to begin at a “moment” in time. When you or someone takes the initiative to request that “moment”, however expressed, (maybe it’s a request for an on-line link) your ability to respond (Response-Ability) determines the potential or lost opportunity to connect with a future associate, benefactor, or friend. You never know where each new encounter may lead.

I have a lot more to say on this subject but will save it for the discussion.

...Howard

Great conversation! And, yet another example of the diversity with which we all do business, etc. My $.02: I add folks with whom I've had some "meaningful" connection. Whether that has taken place in person at an event or on the BizTalk section varies. I refuse the random add requests that I get from people that I've never encountered before. I also periodically go through my network and delete connections that have been dormant for several months.

I believe I've heard Dan and Lara say that ultimately, they'll roll out the option of having "tiers" within our network. I think that feature will be great and allow us to distinguish between those folks with whom we are simply "connected" versus those whose products/services we endorse, etc. Can't wait for that feature to arrive!

Cheers,

Valerie

I have enjoyed reading all the different opinions on this subject.

It's not necessarily how we connect, but that we do connect and build a relationship.

How we do this, or what perimeters we chose to set for those encounters are our personal choices.

Building our business network and how we use it; as referral base or personal clients, does reflect on who we are and how we do business.

Building business community takes us to the next level of how we connect and why. Does our online "community" have as much depth as our offline, face to face community?

The value you as a business owner place on these forms of social networking and community building will directly relate to your businesses success. So as a marketing mentor, I would say, keep a balance. Whenever possible, have social interaction with your network. Each time you can make contact with a person/business the stronger the connection can grow.

So saying this - anyone who is able and would like to meet new contacts in a socially fun and community building way, join me at the Biznik Bowling for Food & Dollars Food Bank Food Drive, Feb. 12, 2009 in Portland.

Your 3-hosts are trying a New Idea in Social Networking:

*professional social networking

*giving back to the community by supporting the Oregon Food Bank

*having fun through building community while bowling!

Go to the Events tab/link to get more information and to RSVP.

You will leave this networking event feeling better about yourself and your business!

I hope to see you there, come introduce your Biznik self! Roberta at RPMMarketingMentor.com

I would add that as an ambassador I try to help others get there network going!!! Sometimes I offer to have them join so they can see an active network. If your network is larger than say 5 or 10 try complimenting everyone in your network. If you don't have a compliment, referral, or introduction to give them then send them a message that you are at least thinking of them.

Love the idea of tiers within our own network.

Lastly, if their is even a remote chance that we can somehow help each other then I will accept their invite. Blessings, Jim

Personally I accept connections from everyone.

There is already a website (LinkedIn) for all of the massive-friend-gathering we need to do. I like using biznik for only personal contacts.

Interesting topic. In reading through the responses I was immediately drawn to the following statement posted by Judy:

"In this day and age, and with the global reach of biznik, for me it does not make sense to limit my network to people I have met in person."

I'm very much in agreement. About 70-75% of my clients are people I've never met - and I've never even spoken on the phone to most of them. The majority are outside of the Pacific Northwest and quite a few are in foreign countries. Since 1998 I have been networking online with design industry peers, those interested in design, and potential clients.

I certainly don't/won't limit the acceptance of networking requests to those with whom I've had a previous Internet interaction or face-to-face meeting - although I've had some kind of contact with many of those currently in my Biznik network.

I have met quite a few in person. Others are familiar with my work, fans of my books, have attended my speaking engagements, hope to meet at some point in the future. or are simply individuals who wish to share ideas, experiences and possibly services related to their own business/work.

I have no intention of possibly limiting opportunities to initiate incredible business relationships or future friendships by not accepting requests to network online. Besides, with my travel and business activities, one never knows when a face-to-face meeting may happen.

What I once referred to as my "imaginary friendships" (and "unreal business relationships"), established on several design industry websites, have become "real world" connections with my travel around the U.S. and the world. One such growing group now travels to Seattle each year from throughout the U.S. when one individual flies in from Bangkok to visit members of her family.

I look forward to connecting, online and hopefully in person, with many biznikers with whom I've had no contact to date.

Jeff Fisher | Jeff Fisher LogoMotives | Tweet! Tweet!

Biznik has connected me with many tremendous people far beyond my geographical reach. To let them into my world I had to do so without meeting them in person first. The exchange of ideas we shared through biznik is what fostered the friendships. I probably won't ever meet any of these folks face to face, but I'm still a better person for knowing them virtually.

I worked in a high volume industry surrounded by people introducing themselves to me... constantly.

I quickly realized the true value of a face to face conversation.

It's always been my philosophy that if you want to really get to know me... then you really need to talk to me. Not at me, around me, or about me. To me.

Shake my hand, give me a hug, whatever you'd like... but say Hi and mean it.

I think someone can do that online. They can be friendly and engaging, they can go out of their way to show interest. But in the end... it's never going to be as real as that handshake.

Having 10,000 virtual friends is comparable to telling me you wouldn't even shake my hand.

I think this goes to show how differentiated the Biznik community is.

One of the trends I assume we will see here is how Biznik helps encourage local business owners to "think outside the geographic box" and begin to consider more economy of scale business partnerships and clients from around the world.

I know there have been a few members already that thought "Hey, I'm just local" but have realized "Wow, my services are needed 3000 miles away!"

There are a lot of comfort zones and old-school networking ideas that are going to be challenged as Biznik members move through those stages. I think it is pretty cool. :)

I agree 100 percent with both Barry and Ken. This "one-world" aspect of online networking is very exciting. I am exploring partnerships with bizniks on the east coast and look forward to enlarging that "geographic box" even more.

Yes, Barry. Very cool.

Christian,

You made some great points. I think that it's crucial to make sure the people that you are linking up with are people you would want to associate with. It's not enough to just have a huge list of friends. You made a good point in saying that the people you are associated with are a representation of who you are. This is especially true on networking sites because everyone can see who you are linked too. Good stuff.

I only add people who I know in some capacity and don't add people who send me an impersonal note to build their network numbers. I add clients, people I've had solid interactions with online or off, people whose work I respect or know well and people I have hired.

I have a note I send in reply to spam-type of network requests. It explains why I am not adding them and gives some insight as to more effective and authentic ways to build a network here.

Tiers would be great, but it would also be great (and maybe easier to set up with a similar effect) if we had more control over how our contacts are tagged. There are just few options to pulldown and often times they don't really fit.

I also want to be able to change these tags over time. Relationships evolve and that is not reflected or supported in the network list.

Some people marked as "met online or at an event" should be changed to "client of mine" or "client of theirs." It would be interesting for biznik's stats to know if people indeed met online OR face to face but currently that's lumped together.

A further quirk is that it's ambiguous if you click "client/customer" just who was the client and who was the service provider.

I'd also like to be able to click more than one. Maybe someone starts as "Met at an event" then I can add "client of mine" and then "friend" or even "client of theirs" (I have lots of people like this in my network now but it just says "met online or at an event".

Relationships evolve; it would be great to see that reflected and supported on the network pages.

Whereas I agree that having hundreds of 'close personal connections' is probably an oxymoron, I think different people should use BizNik the way the feel it works best for them. I know one of the principles is face-to-face, but in the modern virtual world, perhaps this is becoming more quaint than essential. I happen to much prefer the face-to-face, but I am having to become more flexible.

What I would say about requests to join networks is that it does seem rude to refuse. So as long as one can discreetly drop people off one's network at a later date (if nothing comes of the connection) and the statistics are not seen to be a measure of anything in particular, having more connections is not necessarily bad.

The Biznik network feature seems under developed to me and has little real functional value.

With lots of people in a network, finding one of them is best done using the Members search feature.

Without the ability to group them and interact with those groups all at once, to sort, slice and dice the various members of the various groups of people in the network, there isn't much to do but "be" in the network. Presumably, the new "Groups" feature will address all that.

It is kinda nice to see the "connections" you have with someone else, but that's not a really big thing.

As for letting people join my Network or asking to join someone else's, I rarely deny someone that request, but sometimes it's obviously out-of-the-blue and I have to wonder to what end.

When I ask it's usually because there is something we have plainly in common, e.g., health-related fields, or location or something, or we've met and I think we'll have plenty to talk about in the future - or I hope so.

Interesting topic, Christian. Over the years, I’ve developed very strong friendships and business relationships with folks all over the place. I’ve met several, while others are [still] virtual.

Like Jeff Fisher, most of my clients are everywhere but here. Roughly 85%. Between email, IM, Skype, FTP, etc., the world has become a very small place and working together is pretty easy. As a matter of fact, most times I find it easier to work with remote clients than the local ones. Coordinating schedules for local meetings can be a problem at times. The inbox is always ready.

That said, I do filter a certain amount of requests. I look to see if there’s some common ground where we can help each other out, share some knowledge and such.

Jeff also mentioned the annual Seattle get together where several online friends make the real time trek to the Northwest. I’m one of them. The get together came after a few years of forum and discussion group meet-ups, emails and instant messages. When I first met Jeff and some others, for example, I walked up to the table, sat down and joined the conversation like we’d known each other [in person] for years. Nobody at the get together seemed to skip a beat between the virtual and real worlds.

Plus, I’ve had the good fortune to work with several designers around the world on various projects. One is CreativeLatitude.com. As a matter if fact, when I lived in Ohio, my son and I took a drive down to Florida. On the way, we stayed overnight with one of my CreativeLatitude crew, who I’d never met in person. I drove up to his house where he was sitting on the front porch. The opening conversation consisted of, “Hey.” “Hey, back.” Again, it was like meeting up with a friend I’d known in person for a long time.

Although one should have a certain amount of selectivity, the Web and sites like Biznik have brought together people who would have never otherwise met.