10 Deadly Networking Mistakes & How to Avoid Them

Few things can grow your business faster and more consistently than a strong network of business referral sources.  I benefited early in my law practice by understanding the power of a dedicated people network, and I will never regret the time I invested in learning how to do it right.

Most of us who attend networking events are surrounded by examples of how not to build relationships, but we don't know that what we are seeing is often the wrong thing to do.  Below, I have created a list of the top 10 mistakes I see people make:

1. We don't understand the purpose of a networking event- Most people I know think networking events are an opportunity to tell a captive room of people all about what you do and how you can help them if they buy your product or service.  The problem is virtually everyone else in the room is there for the same purpose.  So, the question becomes if everyone is there to do the "telling" who is listening?  This is why selling at a networking event is rarely productive.

If you understand that magnets polarized the same repel you can understand why changing your polarity will change your results.  By  attending events with the purpose of being a good listener, and taking a sincere interest in the things others want to tell you about themselves and their businesses you will immediately become a crowd pleaser.  And, it opens the door to doing more meaningful follow up after the event is over, which is where the real relationship building process begins.

So, if you want better results from your networking stop looking at people in the room and dollar signs and focus first on what's important to them, which is usually having you take a sincere interest in them.

2. We only hang out with the people we already know- How many times do you walk into an event and immediately begin looking for familiar faces?  We all do it, but it's the wrong thing to do.  If you hang out with people you already know you're limiting your opportuunity to meet new people.  Networking events should focus on making new connections because the environment is not usually conducive to building relationships.  That's what one-on-one follow ups are for.

So, instead of hanging out with familiar faces, greet them quickly and let them know you came to meet other people you may be able to refer to them.  Now, they'll love you and actually encourage you not to talk too long.  Imagine if all your friends each canvassed the room to make connections for each other.  Wouldn't that be a better use of your time and resources than shooting the breeze with people you know already?  I have found it to be both fun and productive for everyone involved.

3. We talk too much about ourselves -This mistake is related to Mistake #1, but it's slightly different.  Sometimes, even when we start focusing on the other person we revert to bad habits, namely focusing too much on ourselves.  The best way to avoid this mistake is to be in the moment with the person you're talking to.  Pretend there will be a quiz at the end so you have to listen intently and ask questions that logically flow from what the person was just sharing with you.  If you do this properly the people you meet will enjoy the conversations more and they will want to follow up with you, which is why you're there in the first place!

4. We don't describe what we do in a way that is meaningful to others - Now, even when you focus your attention on the other person you will get the questions "so what do you do", and that's a moment when you want to have something meaningful to say.  Most people blow it here by simply saying something like "I'm a mortgage broker, or I'm an insurance agent.  This is wasted opporunity.

The better practice is not just to tell people what you do, but to tell them why what you do matters to the people you serve.  In other words, describe what you do in a way that highlights the benefits your clients receive when you do it.  For example, an insurance agent might say "I help people assess the risks they encounter in their daily lives, and I help them achieve peace of mind by protecting against those risks, I'm an insurance agent".  What that does is paint a vivid picture of why someone would want to do business with you.  It also helps the person you're talking to better visualize who would be a good referral for you.  Do this the next time you describe what you do and see the difference it makes.

5. We don't have an effective follow up system-You went to the event, you met a bunch of people, you got a ton of business cards...now what? Most people I know lose opportunity by not having a plan of action as to the follow up they will do with the people they meet.  Having a plan could be as simple as making sure that you call the people you were interested in following up with and getting on the calendar for a lunch or coffee within a set period of time.  It could mean making sure you send a follow up card or letter thanking them for taking the time to talk to you.  Whatever it is, have a plan and stick to it.  Make it part of your regular routine, and you'll find yourself missing fewer opportunities.

6. We don't meet the host/center of influence-You are standing in a room full of about 100 people. Someone was responsible for getting them there. Think you should meet that person? A smart networker would!  The people responsible for putting on successful mixers and events usually have a pretty good contact list. Meet them EVERYTIME you can. Get to know them, find ways to be of service to them (without selling them what you do), and you'll find your network growing in no time.

7. We are not good matchmakers-This mistake can be corrected very simply. Meet people and introduce them to folks who you think might make good referral partners. If you spend your time doing this, you will avoid mistake number 8 and you just may be the hit of the event.

8. We show up just to be seen - We have all heard this one as well, "I am just going to make an appearance." Do me and everyone else a favor...don't bother. If you can't attend an event long enough to make a meaningful contribution to its success, just don't go. Running in and running out because you are too busy is, well, one of the reasons you are too busy. Choose an event, schedule it, and attend the whole event.  And, attend it with the idea that you are going to enhance it by being an active participant in it.

9. We don't ask the right questions - When meeting someone at an event, you only have a few minutes to make an impression. Asking someone about the weather, or if they have ever been there before is not going to do the trick. How about finding out what they do? What got them into that line of work? What do they like most about what they do? And the best question you can ask at a networking event (I borrow this from referral and relationship marketing expert Bob Burg "How Do I know if someone I am speaking with is a good referral for you?" Try this one...you will be amazed at the results.

10. We don't attend enough networking events - Most people I know dont' attend enough networking events because they have not found them productive, but now that you know how to avoid the other 9 mistakes your success rate should go through the roof.  So, plan on attending events consistently.  You don't have to be at every one, but do attend them consistently, and practice what we have shared with you here.  I promise your extra efforts will pay big dividends. 

So, now that you know how to change your networking fortunes start implementing these principles today.  The sooner you start the sooner relationships will grow!