A Tree-Hugger’s Guide to Handling Complaints

If you were in the forest and a tree was about to fall on you would you

a. Try to stop its fall and stand it upright again?

or

b. Try to deflect it so it doesn’t hit you on the head?

For those of you who worked too late last night, the correct answer is “b.”

But too often, when a customer has a complaint, we try to make the problem go away – we try to stand the tree back up again – instead of using the energy of the complaint to deflect the criticism.

Here’s a case in point.

Recently a vendor that I liked and trusted disappointed me severely. I complained but in a nice way, mind you. I told him how puzzled and disappointed I was, since my experience was pretty far from what I had expected. I received back not an apology but a windy defense that tried to convince me that there was no problem and that maybe I needed to rethink my position.

Excuse me?

This experience caused me to reflect on the fact that no matter how nutty our clients and customers seem to be, if they have a problem with us then there IS a problem. And no matter how much our business is our baby, we cannot defend it like a she-bear and come out ahead. The best defense is NOT a good offense.

But there is a way.

The way to handle customer complaints is to use the customer’s energy for your own purposes. This happens in four steps.

Step One.  Apologize for the negative emotion your customer feels. This is what people really want, anyway. So say

“I’m sorry you feel that way” or

“I’m sorry you’re disappointed” or

“I’m sorry you’re angry with us.”

Goodness knows, you ARE sorry! You’re sorry this thing is taking up your afternoon!

Step Two.  Validate your apology with one additional sentence. This is the KEY step. We all know how easy it is to say “I’m sorry” and that alone doesn’t carry much weight. You make it clear that you are truly sorry by elaborating just a bit, again by focusing on your customer’s emotion.

“I would feel disappointed too” or

“Anyone would feel as you do” or

“I can understand how you would think that we’d made a mistake.”

Notice, please, that no defense of you or your company is needed. You do not need to either admit fault or find out more about the problem. (And if you do want to know more about the problem, call back another time.)  Your focus is entirely on keeping the tree from falling on your head, not on finding out what pushed it your way.

Step Three.  Ask what the customer wants you to do. Do not guess because you do not know. And, surprisingly, you may find that the first two steps have absolved you of any further action. Often people just want to feel respected and your sincere apology will not only make things all better but will win back your customer’s friendship. So ask.

“How can I make this right for you?” or

“What would make you feel better?” or

“Is there anything I can do to make you happier about all this?”

Step Four.  The customer will say one of four things.

a)      “I never want to do business with you ever again!” Ouch! Ok, then. Thank your customer and hang up the phone. Go for a walk, get some coffee. The feeling is mutual, right?

b)      “I want you to [do something you can do – like refund the money].” In which case, you say you will do that, thank your customer and hang up the phone. Yay!

c)      “Oh, that’s all right. I don’t need anything. Thanks for listening.” In which case, you thank your customer and hang up the phone. Double yay!

d)      “I want you to [do something you can’t do – like refund the money].” Be careful here. Never say, “I can’t do that.” Instead, say, “Hmm. Can I get back to you on that? Let me call you back in 20 minutes.”

Thank the customer and hang up the phone. Go for a walk, get some coffee. Think about your response. When you call back in precisely 20 minutes (or whenever you agreed you’d call), it’s like starting the conversation again except that the customer is no longer angry. You can propose what you can do to make things better with at least neutral energy.

The whole emphasis in customer service is on the word “customer.” This is not about you. This is about them.

When the tree falls, it’s not that you’ve put your picnic where it is and the tree is wrong to fall your way. It’s not that you’ve got to stop the tree from falling – it’s already coming down. It’s that you’ve got to get out of the way and live to tell the tale.

To do that, you’ve got to hug the tree.