A Twist on the Idea of Professionalism in Leadership

It seems that our society has become afraid of our own human-ness. Have we lost our sense of how to be with each other in the messiness of our humanity?

Written Mar 13, 2009, read 5868 times since then.

Learn more about the author, Vic Desotelle.

I was reading my LinkedIn Groups this morning and came across Mike Smith’s ‘Life Back West’ thoughts on people, teams, organizations, effectiveness and success (thanks Mike!). Now, it may seem that I jump around here a bit, so buckle your seat belt and see if you can stay with me on this ...

So, after reading his short blurb on leadership that caught my eye, I went to Mike’s blog planning to oppose what I anticipated would be a description of an old belief system that suggests, if we are professional, our feelings are to be suppressed in the workplace. Instead, Mike described how his young son has inspired his professional nature to include expression, compassion, and emotion. Having a young boy myself, I can totally relate to how he and I allow each other space for emotional expression. But then, why is it that we are not allowed too much expression at work without being sited as a problem?

It seems that our society has become afraid of our own human-ness. Have we lost our sense of how to be with each other in the messiness of our humanity? For me, today’s sorely needed emerging leaders can not be likened anymore to the stoic guy on a horse riding off into the sunset after he single-handedly saves the town from Godzilla. Why? Because this guy (usually someone we all aspire to be) rarely shows the kind of emotion that allows for collective transformation. Rather he tends to be about eliminating a problem, along with the people that go with it.

What if instead, we began to choose our leaders based (in part) on how well they have learned to express their emotional selves and how well they are exemplars for others by the way they share the messy parts of their humanity and also be able to hold it for others? I propose that we dare ourselves to allow messiness in the workplace by helping to teach and “lead” groups through spells of negative emotion. Rather than try to find ways to avoid or expel it. Note the key piece here is how to teach groups or teams to hold individuals in their time of need, rather than expecting the so-called leader to do it alone. This is known as collective leadership and I believe that gold can be found within the mines (minds) of our organizations that will generate amazing new forms of innovation. Why? Because the form and function of innovation becomes an expression of the group or company who created it.

I think Daniel Goleman’s talk on TED points to this evolved form of leadership that I speak of. And it often starts with what he called a ‘human moment’, which are the times when we are paying full attention to the person(s) we are with. Additionally, he suggests that there is zero correlation between intelligence and the awareness of another (compassion). Yet we hire our leaders and managers almost completely based on their level of intelligence and rarely rate them based on their ability to express, show compassion, or hold a group through troubling periods. Why is that? Interesting to me is that he also correlates the rapid growth of information to compassion. And it makes sense! This begins to define a true ecology of thought and being and I feel that this is where we are headed - a collaboration of relationships that connect as we become more present moment to moment in our lives. Now, this is a bit of a paradox because our increased access to information so often pulls us away from being present with another, right? Well, both are happening. Now, I am aware that my writing is moving in a number of directions, but hang in there with me.

I am trying to suggest an ecology of leadership and the relationships and awareness that make this up. And that the meaning of ‘professionalism’ is morphing into something completely different. In ecological terms, this means that even the idea of “the leader” is old, and that we instead need to consider the possibility of what a collective leadership would look like and how this carried into group dynamics can help to generate a deeper form of authenticity within ourselves and our companies.

I plan to write about this later on in my blogging. But for now, let us all “re”consider and discuss what it means to be a “professional”, and also reconsider what kind of “leadership” we really need in this new interconnected world of ours.

Learn more about the author, Vic Desotelle.

Posted by Hsuan-Hua Chang, PCC, LMBA, Seattle, Washington | Mar 17, 2009

I think the leaders you refer to are the executives in the organizations. I coach executives. They usually have a full plate and want to focus on accomplishing tasks. Being in touch with emotions can be time consuming or energy consuming. So, some of them choose not to be in touch with their emotions as their survival mechanism. It’s not because they don’t want to. It’s because they are not capable to. It takes leadership development and personal growth to enable them to be emotional intelligent.

Leaders like Martin Luther King or Gandhi were not only in touch with their own emotions, but also used the emotions to inspire others to follow them. We had quite a few leaders like them through the history in different countries.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. You can be the leader to create the change you want to see. Cheers!

CoachSeattle brings clarity & fun to biz development.
Posted by Cheryl Dixon, Sandy, Oregon | Mar 17, 2009

Thank you for your article and the point that we all need to "get real" with each other, even in the business arena. I am an open book, and appreciate other open book's as well. It is so much easier to quickly identify the needs of the "other" when I don't have to guess, and can quickly save them time by either matching my services or just offering them support in something that is not on my "helps" list.

And by the way, I love Santa Cruz. I enjoyed taking my family to the boardwalk, and the walk about the cliff edges to watch the surfers. What a bit of heaven... Cheryl Dixon
Posted by Jane Blinka, M.Ed., LMHCA, North Bend, Washington | Mar 17, 2009

Vic, YAY! Yes, all we have to do is scan the list of new groups here on Biznik to find that our new wave of pro entrepreneurs aren't afraid to let their hair down and meld their work and personal selves in a daring new public persona.

As a dad of a young child, you are privileged to have a master teacher to remind you of the primacy and power of our emotions. You bring that freshly renewed inner vision, apply to your outer connections to the world, and - yahoo - you champion an idea whose time has definitely arrived.

We ARE diving into a rapidly changing environment of collective leadership - or we're being dragged kicking and screaming into it. I choose the first option - way more fun and enlivening. I thank my lucky stars I have a precious two year old friend to mentor me! Thanks for bringing the topic into the foreground!
Posted by Emmanuel Velasco, Binan, Laguna Philippines | Mar 17, 2009

As a young entrepreneur, I realized early on that emotions are a powerful tool in managing people if you know how to use it well. It should not be that emotions are ignored but should be use as part of one's leadership 'tools'.

Speaking from experience, the team works better and you come out as a boss or leader that looks after his troops and not just the task that needs to be done.
Posted by Pamela Ziemann, Bellevue, Washington | Mar 17, 2009

I do some contract work for a public seminar company that just added Emotional Intelligence as a full day program. It's filling up. Emotions are so powerful, why not work with them and channel this renewable energy!

I'll check out your blog Vic. Thanks for the article.
Posted by Mark Walters, Bellevue, Washington | Mar 17, 2009

Great article!

If you have kids and want to help teach them how to manage their emotional world, I highly recommend this book:

Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child by John Gottman, Ph.D.
Posted by John Voris, Carmel, California | Mar 18, 2009

"Reason is and ought only to be the slave of the passions..."

Philosopher David Hume 1711-1776

For me you have elegantly transformed the enlighenment of the past into the enlightment of the future.

Passions are what drives the world, with reason and language as mere tools contained in our toolbox of communication.

Corporate information comes rapidly today in the form of stark semantic reasoning, but through struggle, it also manages to move our passions forward, providing the occasional human element of enthusiasm.

This emotive bedrock you reference, would be able to find full expression as never before through the execution of such Collective Leadership. Like osmosis, humanity would find acknowledgment through the membrane of language itself. And through such Ecology of Leadership as you propose, the group would combine synergies of human dynamics to produce an ideal and new form of meaning.

Collective Leadership would therefore function as the catalyst toward an elevated ecological dialectic of emotional expression that would truly be innovative.

Clever insight.

John Voris - Motivation Analyst
Posted by Will Peters, Charlotte, North Carolina | Mar 18, 2009

Great Article About Leadership.
Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Mar 18, 2009

Thanks for the thought provoking Article, Vic!

My daughter is now 15 and still inspires me daily to express myself - we burst into dance and song on a regular basis (and occasionally try to communicate with just noises!) Oh yes, unless her friends are around, in which case, I have to act like an "adult" or she disowns me!

(Wow, how interesting that I/we associate the ability to hide our emotions an "adult" quality.)

In my mind, the true leaders ARE the ones not afraid to express, not afraid to inspire, not afraid to even cry with. Maybe my role models were different from yours. Leaders as expressors and connectors - I do like that idea.

As far as embracing negative emotions and messiness in the workplace, I'm torn. It sounds really great in theory, and in your article. But I recall being a restaurateur, and finding it necessary to challenge the more "immature" employees (there's that dichotomy again) - the whiners, moaners, and gossipers (very good at expressing their feelings) to choose between a better, sunnier outlook or a new job elsewhere.

Negative emotions can be like cancer in a work environment, they breed and attract more of the same, spreading until the employee is convinced that life sucks, their job sucks, and the customers suck, too. Oh yes, and the boss as well.

But magically, when the complainer either stopped complaining or moved on (voluntarily or not), the whole workplace would transform into a place where we supported each other in having fun - regardless of the circumstances. As I used to ask my employees, "You can come to work and have a good time, or come to work and be miserable - which do you want?"

Yes, I was a "problem eliminator." And I'd do it again!

I realize that's probably not what you're talking about (supporting complainers!), but I believe there is a way to honor and embrace our emotions without taking them too "seriously." We are not our thoughts and we are not our emotions, rather, we are the ones who think and the ones who feel. We are the generator of our emotions, not the victims of them.

I guess what I'm saying is that we can embrace ourselves as the ones who feel whatever we feel while also recognizing that we are not without choice in the matter of our thoughts. (And maybe that's what some admired about the old model of "leader", even though we yearn for a much less stoic model now.)

(Not sure that made any sense... this post probably explains why I shouldn't post past my bedtime...)
Posted by Karen M Gagne, Santa Cruz, California | Mar 19, 2009

Thanks for your ideas on authenticity in the workplace! It's time has come, and we very badly need it.
Posted by Marty Frazier, Tacoma, Washington | Mar 19, 2009

Thanks for starting another productive dialogue. People too often use the word leadership when they are talking about management and vice versa. H Chang's earlier reference to Martin Luther King and Gandhi was on track but perhaps limited. Most historically significant leaders inspired masses of people who then took action based on personal decissions within their realm of influence. Very few accomplished that by reaching just into their heads, more often they reached into their souls.
That is not to say that inspiration alone is enough- reference the results of the Franco-Prussian War where extreme organization and planning thoroughly destroyed a tradition of elan and inspirational leadership. But no plan or series of ideas survives first contact with reality and empowering (encouraging) individuals in a group to a think and act for themselves, either individually or as small groups, is the basis for long term success in organizations of free and educated people.
Posted by Kare Anderson, Sausalito, California | Mar 19, 2009

Ah yes, continuing to live a conscious life,deepening our understanding of ourselves and of others - especially in their actions towards us - then supporting those who lead from the same place. They are the ones who can truly listen, bring others together, rather than react. They can be the glue that holds us together around our better sides - and join in lifting us up to make wiser choices.

Ironically this article offers us a path that's ultimately the most efficient and practical - most likely to enable us to succeed and savor our lives. Biznik has attracted such amazing talent - including you Vic. Thank you
Posted by Carla Moss, Piedmont, California | Mar 19, 2009

Well said, Vic!

Given the interconnected nature of business these days, through social media and social networks, professionals, and leaders especially, are going to have to learn how to "Stop thinking like a company and act like a person." A quote taken from a recent article I read in Adage by Faris Yakob as he describes an ancillary topic, 'Digital Marketing: Golden Rules of the Web', but a principle that also applies to this topic as well.
Posted by Brian Pollick, Victoria, British Columbia Canada | Mar 20, 2009

Very concise and dead on Vic. You understand the critical dynamic of leadership is not the charismatic or heroic dimension, but the ability to CONNECT and MOTIVATE by our shared humanity, which is really where our common experience lies. I know that you also understand that the real difficulty for the leaders who want to practice this modality of leadership is the discomfort, even hostility of those who want "strong and decisive" leadership. Thus the primary challenge for people who want participatory, emotionally present leadership within an organization is to patiently model this type of leadership on a day to day basis recognizing it is unfamiliar and inherrently uncomfortable, even threatening, to others in the organization. That is where someone of your skill becomes so important. Thanks for this.
Posted by Ellen Cohen, palo alto, California | Mar 22, 2009

Vic, Have you ever read that a big difference between male and female leadership in the workplace is that the woman is more integrated with the "real her"? She doesn't need a different personna than the one she has at home with her family at work. Men on the other hand have to be someone else (assertive, tough, old boy etc.). Some women that want to play the game try to obtain these qualities and then they get tagged "bully broads" or ice queens etc. Me, I'll just keep being me. I lead my teams with compassion and it seems to be working. If that keeps me out of the sr. exec game, so be it.
Posted by Vic Desotelle, Santa Cruz, California | Apr 12, 2009

Thank you, thank you all. I am grateful for your comments and support on this rather 'out there' subject. Help me spread the word, okay? I look forward to connecting with you again in the near future. Vic Desotelle http://DiscoveryFuel.com
Posted by David Jackson, Kent, Washington | Jul 02, 2009

A very interesting perspective… So would you see facilitative leadership as one of the ways to achieve the ecology you speak of?
Posted by Simon Iddings, Banbury, London United Kingdom | Dec 20, 2011

The old model of a pyramid leadership model may be ancient, but it most businesses, it works. There is a fresh new take on leadership, which is the shared leadership, which serves to empower team members with authority and responsibility. The upside is that a unique ID is easily formed when a team has a shared leadership model, which differentiates itself from other groups.

Simon - ID Card Printer