Last week I gave a rocking free webinar--if I do say so myself--that reminded me of the first time I got flowers from a guy.
When I was 16 I had quite a crush on Andrew Kane. It was a secret crush that I hardly admitted to myself, let alone anyone else.
Then one night, three weeks before the prom, Andrew and his friend Toby appeared at my door. I remember exactly how they looked in the light of the porch lamp.
"We can't stay," said Andrew as soon as I opened the door. Then, avoiding my gaze, he thrust a long white box at me and mumbled, "This is for you." When I took the box, he grunted and said, "Well, see you around."
O-kay. I was no social butterfly myself. I simply went in the house and opened the box. Inside were a dozen long-stemmed roses.
And then the waiting began. Because surely this meant he would ask me to the prom.
But the invitation never came. And neither of us went to the prom that year.
A webinar is like a dozen roses
As I was saying, last week I gave a rocking webinar. Like the roses Andrew gave me it was a heartfelt gift. It was meant to deepen the relationship between me and my just-right clients. To build mutual knowledge, liking, and trust.
And like the roses, it was the prelude to an invitation, in this case an invitation to my home study course.
But like Andrew, I fumbled the invitation.
The roses part went fine
The webinar included some of my best stuff. So long as I was in giving mode, it went fine. I was a little nervous at first, but pretty soon my heart was full and my soul was dancing. I was totally feeling the love.
Until...
...until it was time to issue the invitation.
And then, like Andrew, I never asked anyone to the prom.
The invitation was expected
Even though I put as much solid information as I could in the webinar, in one hour I could only give an overview of principles and tools that I teach in much greater depth and detail in my homestudy. So from the very beginning I let people know that I'd be telling them about my homestudy and how they could buy it.
In other words, I told them from the start to expect an invitation.
Then I started worrying about what they thought
While I was teaching, I was connected and present. But when it came to the invitation, I got self-conscious. Suddenly I started worrying about what participants would think when I started talking about my homestudy. Would they get mad because I was selling? Would they drop off the webinar? Would they unsubscribe from my newsletter and say bad things about me?
Ack!
I lost connection with my heartfelt desire to invite them to try proven tools for getting clients that fit just-right. In my mind, I turned webinar participants into mean high school kids who not only wouldn't go to the prom with me but would make fun of me to their friends.
The bottom line? I was so preoccupied with what people would think that I lost touch with what would best serve them.
So I raced through the details of the program, and I practically apologized for making a special offer.
And I went back to teaching as fast as I could.
It's not that giving is wrong
Obviously, the point here isn't that giving is wrong. I treasured the roses I got from Andrew, and I've heard from people on the webinar that they loved it.
But because I didn't complete the invitation, Over 100 people who had said they were interested never really got to consider the offer I was making. I didn't even give them a chance to think about it and say no.
I decided not to risk rejection, and that cost all of us.
Do what I say, not what I do
I survived not going to the prom. And I'm going to survive this webinar. But I would love for you to not make the same mistake.
Your just-right clients exist. They need what you do. And they can't take advantage of what you offer if they don't know what it is or understand how they can have it.
It's your job to get to know who fits just-right. Then you need to bring them roses. And then, you need to invite them to buy from you.
Because your people want to go to the prom.
Learn more about the author, Molly Gordon.
This is an interesting article, Molly, and at least you had the nerve to buy the roses. I am too afraid to even offer a webinar! How in the world did you get 100 people on board?
I agree that once they join a webinar they expect an invitation. Thanks so much for sharing your insight!
I was on your webinar Molly and I didn't feel like you dropped the ball, in any way, with the offer. That was just through my filter. But...I have to say, the follow up article, email and posting in social media was really effective way to connect again on the same topic. I'll have to connect with you - personally - offline, to tell you more about the experience and why I will buy.
Hi Tami - Do tell! What was it that made you want to buy??
Molly What you experienced is so common. It does get easier. Realize how valuable your offer is more fully than you already do. Thanks for sharing.
Hey Shari--Thank you so much. I have a sizable list and actually had 300+ people signed up for the webinar. It's common for only a third to a half to show up for free events.
Hi Tami--Thank you for all your support.
Joanne--I've actually been doing this for 23 years, so I know it gets easier. And some days, oh well!
Thanks for the article. It's really got me thinking about my own follow through. Glad I am not the only one that struggles with this type of issue.
Molly- I love your authenticity! I missed the prom too because both the boy and I were too shy to ask. Neither of us went!
Fear and self-doubt are the main things that cause most of us to lose opportunities. It took me years to understand that people actually are waiting to be asked! Like you, I still slip up sometimes and it's always another teaching opportunity! Thanks for sharing.
Molly, this certainly strikes a chord that can affect us all. It can seem that the more hearfelt we are, the harder it is to "sell." It's as though it diminishes our gift in some strange way. I'm new to this, but I think that when we actually experience the positive results that our clients receive, all fears of "selling" go away. We have solid evidence that we really do help people. Thanks so much for sharing.
I'm so glad this struck a chord.
I have evidence that people want you to ask them to the prom. When I am direct about selling, more than twice as many people sign up for my programs or buy my courses. That's twice as many people who get help. I'm sure you will see similar results.
Great article, Molly, I can certainly identify with your experience. I just held my first workshop a few weeks back, and feel I had the same offer delivery... good thing there is always another day!
Nick: Yes, there is always another opportunity to sell more effectively and still with heart.
This was the perfect article for me Molly. My oldest sister was beautiful and one of the most popular girls in school. The year she was elected Homecoming Queen, no one asked her to the dance - I suppose they assumed she would naturally be going with the football hero or something. It was a good lesson for me to remember...not to be intimidated and assume my ideal client is already spoken for or wouldn't want to do business with little ol' me. Thanks again!
Great post, Molly! I love analogies and this one hits the nail square on the head! :)
It's so hard for 'givers' to switch roles and become 'takers', even when it comes to simply offering an invitation to check out a product or service. Like you said, not offering eliminates rejection but it also eliminates success.
I think that our mindset has a lot to do with it. People don't like being 'sold to' and we don't want to be considered one of 'those people'. However, if you look at your marketing and sales as providing opportunities, it can make a big difference for the experience and how you feel about it. Thanks!
Jenny--Yes! Your ideal client may want to work with others as well as with you. Even if s/he seems to be spoken for, there may be opportunities.
Jacqueline--Mindset does have a lot to do with it.I disagree, though, that people don't like to be sold to. When a salesperson listens deeply to what his/her clients want and responds from a place of service, being sold to can feel marvelous. I treasure the sales people who have treated me that way.
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