Building a Quality Attitude

A winner has a positive confident attitude about themselves, others and the situations in which they find themselves.  They realize the subconscious mind has been recording everything they have ever seen, done, smelled, tasted, felt and thought since birth.  All of these recordings are called our "old tapes" and these tapes play a large part on how we deal with any current situation.

Very simply, the mind functions on two levels, the conscious and the subconscious.  The conscious mind is your decision making tool; the subconscious mind is your computer or memory bank.  When you are faced with a decision, the conscious mind sends an order to the subconscious mind to play the memory tapes on that subject.  The conscious mind then makes a decision based on the feedback coming from the old tapes and from the current data on the physical level.

The subconscious mind has been recording everything said, heard and done since before birth.  But for our discussion let's just use 16 hours a day to find out how long you have been building these old tapes.  Take the formula of 16 x 365 x your age.  This means you have only been recording and learning 16 hours per day, 365 days per year, every year you have been alive.

16 x 365 x your age = _____ hours of old tapes!

The subconscious mind records everything as fact and it does not perceive information in judgmental form.  It simply records the thought or action as true.  Because of this, it is possible to reprogram the mind to give you the results you desire.  The subconscious mind is fertile ground.

We control the information received into the subconscious mind with our self-talk.  We spend most of our time alone with our thoughts and doing self-talk.  Examples are driving our cars, waiting in line at stores, using the washrooms, etc.  We can do this either positively or negatively.  Positive self-talk opens the creative mind and frees the positive attitudes and mental resources needed to function in a winning manner.  However, negative self-talk locks up your mental resources, your attitudes and your actions.  By turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk and using positive affirmations you can take control of how you act and react to all situations and in all areas of your life. 

Positive Self-Motivation

• A motive is the positive or negative force within people that moves them into action.
• Fear is the most powerful negative motivator because it restricts, tightens, panics, forces, and defeats a person's will to win.
• Desire is the strongest positive motivator because it attracts, reaches, opens, directs and encourages a person's will to win.
• We control our lives either positively or negatively by the way we talk to ourselves, that is, by our self-talk.
• Winners always see the rewards of success in advance and always tell themselves "I can", "I will" and "I want to"; they do not fear the penalties of failure.
• Losers always see the penalties of failure in advance and always tell themselves "I can't", "I won't", "I have to" and "but, I tried"; they fear both the rewards of success and the penalties of failure.
• Winners realize there is no such thing as a stress free life and know how to respond positively to stress.  They use it to their advantage rather than being controlled by it.
• You cannot move away from the reverse of an idea; your actions will be controlled by your current dominant thought.
• What are your fears? Determine your fears and start to do the things you fear to do and the death of fear is absolutely certain.  Action will minimize and ultimately eliminate fear.
• Positive self-motivation is dissatisfaction with the status quo, or more simply, a desire to change.
• Positive self-motivation is a self-management skill which will move you in a positive direction.  Remember: "Life is a do-it-to-yourself project".

Negative Self-Talk

Desire and fear are the two greatest motivators.  They propel or compel us to action, and make themselves visible through our thoughts and words.  You are constantly talking - either to others or to yourself.  Your life is affected - either positively or negatively - by your current dominant thoughts (your mental dialog or "self-talk").  Negative self-talk sets you up for failure by locking up your mental resources, your attitudes and your actions. 

Establishing Positive Influences

Negative self-talk has a devastating effect on your life and work.  On the other hand, positive self-talk has a freeing, expanding effect.  There is a simple, two step process for turning any negative thoughts into positive thoughts:

Step number one: Make the decision to turn negative self-talk into positive statements.

You can do this by:

• Becoming aware of your own negative self-talk.
• Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk.

Step number two: Don't allow others to add negative self-talk to your thinking.

• Negative self-talk is often a habit picked up from a parent, co-worker, or a friend.  For example, a person might state, "My mother told me I had a terrible memory."  She would say, "You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body!"

The next time someone offers you some of his or her negative statements, don't agree mentally with them.  Instead, affirm positive self-talk.  Here are some negative statements others may impose on you.  What positive self-talk can you use to keep this kind of conversation from affecting you negatively?

• "Sure is a lousy day, isn't it?"
• "I don't trust them, do you?"
• "I don't think it will work, do you?"
• "This company doesn't care about us!"
• "He really made a mess of it, didn't he?"

When someone states something negatively and expects a response from you, you have three choices:

1. You can ignore the comment and say nothing.
2. You can agree with the comment.
3. You can turn it around and help the person see the positive side of the situation

Guidelines for Using Positive Self-Talk

1).  Use personal pronouns. Words such as "I", "my", "mine" and "me" will personalize your self-talk and will help you internalize it.

Ineffective Self-Talk

• "People are fun to be around."
• "Time is money"

Effective Self-Talk

• "I enjoy being around people"
• "I am well organized and efficient."

2).  Keep your positive self-talk in the present tense. Referring to the past or future dilutes the impact of your self-talk.

Ineffective Self-Talk

• "Someday I'll be successful."
• "I am better disciplined than I was."

Effective Self-Talk

• "I am successful."
• "I am well disciplined."

3).  Direct your positive self-talk toward what you desire, not away from what you don't want. You want to focus your current dominant thought on your desires, not your dislikes.

Ineffective Self-Talk

• "I can quit smoking."
• "I will lose 20 pounds."
• "I won't worry anymore."

Effective Self-Talk

• "I am in control of my habits."
• "I weigh a slim, trim _____ pounds."
• "I am a confident, optimistic person."

4.  Keep your self-talk noncompetitive, rather than comparing yourself with others.

Ineffective Self-Talk

• "I will become president before he (or she) does."

Effective Self-Talk

• "I am president, fully capable of fulfilling my responsibilities."

Imaging

Imaging the thing you're about to do in a positive manner will start you on the road to success.  When we speak of imaging, we are talking about seeing what you are about to do, in the mind's eye.  This does the same thing as our affirmations.  Any time we use self-talk in any form we are dealing with the subconscious mind and begin to program new tapes or reprogram the old tapes.

Many people use negative imaging without realizing it.  Just before they do something they begin to think of all the objections and all of the reasons why the project won't work.  Then they start to think of how to manipulate the situation so it might work.  By the time they get face to face with the person or project they have forgotten any professionalism they might have had and become a loser.

Positive imaging, like positive self-talk and positive affirmations, puts us on target to success.  Always look for the good in any situation then begin to image good happening right now.  With practice you can create positive experiences anytime and anywhere you desire.  This is the sign of excellence in leadership people will follow to the ends of the earth.