Excellent suggestions on turing negative into positive. Very practical step-by-step article.
Building a Quality Attitude
Winners have a positive confident attitude about themselves, others and the situations in which they find themselves. This is the process of remaining positive in a negative world.
A winner has a positive confident attitude about themselves, others and the situations in which they find themselves. They realize the subconscious mind has been recording everything they have ever seen, done, smelled, tasted, felt and thought since birth. All of these recordings are called our "old tapes" and these tapes play a large part on how we deal with any current situation.
Very simply, the mind functions on two levels, the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious mind is your decision making tool; the subconscious mind is your computer or memory bank. When you are faced with a decision, the conscious mind sends an order to the subconscious mind to play the memory tapes on that subject. The conscious mind then makes a decision based on the feedback coming from the old tapes and from the current data on the physical level.
The subconscious mind has been recording everything said, heard and done since before birth. But for our discussion let's just use 16 hours a day to find out how long you have been building these old tapes. Take the formula of 16 x 365 x your age. This means you have only been recording and learning 16 hours per day, 365 days per year, every year you have been alive.
16 x 365 x your age = _____ hours of old tapes!
The subconscious mind records everything as fact and it does not perceive information in judgmental form. It simply records the thought or action as true. Because of this, it is possible to reprogram the mind to give you the results you desire. The subconscious mind is fertile ground.
We control the information received into the subconscious mind with our self-talk. We spend most of our time alone with our thoughts and doing self-talk. Examples are driving our cars, waiting in line at stores, using the washrooms, etc. We can do this either positively or negatively. Positive self-talk opens the creative mind and frees the positive attitudes and mental resources needed to function in a winning manner. However, negative self-talk locks up your mental resources, your attitudes and your actions. By turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk and using positive affirmations you can take control of how you act and react to all situations and in all areas of your life.
- A motive is the positive or negative force within people that moves them into action.
- Fear is the most powerful negative motivator because it restricts, tightens, panics, forces, and defeats a person's will to win.
- Desire is the strongest positive motivator because it attracts, reaches, opens, directs and encourages a person's will to win.
- We control our lives either positively or negatively by the way we talk to ourselves, that is, by our self-talk.
- Winners always see the rewards of success in advance and always tell themselves "I can", "I will" and "I want to"; they do not fear the penalties of failure.
- Losers always see the penalties of failure in advance and always tell themselves "I can't", "I won't", "I have to" and "but, I tried"; they fear both the rewards of success and the penalties of failure.
- Winners realize there is no such thing as a stress free life and know how to respond positively to stress. They use it to their advantage rather than being controlled by it.
- You cannot move away from the reverse of an idea; your actions will be controlled by your current dominant thought.
- What are your fears? Determine your fears and start to do the things you fear to do and the death of fear is absolutely certain. Action will minimize and ultimately eliminate fear.
- Positive self-motivation is dissatisfaction with the status quo, or more simply, a desire to change.
- Positive self-motivation is a self-management skill which will move you in a positive direction. Remember: "Life is a do-it-to-yourself project".
Desire and fear are the two greatest motivators. They propel or compel us to action, and make themselves visible through our thoughts and words. You are constantly talking - either to others or to yourself. Your life is affected - either positively or negatively - by your current dominant thoughts (your mental dialog or "self-talk"). Negative self-talk sets you up for failure by locking up your mental resources, your attitudes and your actions.
Establishing Positive Influences
Negative self-talk has a devastating effect on your life and work. On the other hand, positive self-talk has a freeing, expanding effect. There is a simple, two step process for turning any negative thoughts into positive thoughts:
Step number one: Make the decision to turn negative self-talk into positive statements.
You can do this by:
- Becoming aware of your own negative self-talk.
- Turning your negative self-talk into positive self-talk.
Step number two: Don't allow others to add negative self-talk to your thinking.
- Negative self-talk is often a habit picked up from a parent, co-worker, or a friend. For example, a person might state, "My mother told me I had a terrible memory." She would say, "You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body!"
The next time someone offers you some of his or her negative statements, don't agree mentally with them. Instead, affirm positive self-talk. Here are some negative statements others may impose on you. What positive self-talk can you use to keep this kind of conversation from affecting you negatively?
- "Sure is a lousy day, isn't it?"
- "I don't trust them, do you?"
- "I don't think it will work, do you?"
- "This company doesn't care about us!"
- "He really made a mess of it, didn't he?"
When someone states something negatively and expects a response from you, you have three choices:
- You can ignore the comment and say nothing.
- You can agree with the comment.
- You can turn it around and help the person see the positive side of the situation
Guidelines for Using Positive Self-Talk
1). Use personal pronouns. Words such as "I", "my", "mine" and "me" will personalize your self-talk and will help you internalize it.
- "People are fun to be around."
- "Time is money"
- "I enjoy being around people"
- "I am well organized and efficient."
2). Keep your positive self-talk in the present tense. Referring to the past or future dilutes the impact of your self-talk.
- "Someday I'll be successful."
- "I am better disciplined than I was."
- "I am successful."
- "I am well disciplined."
3). Direct your positive self-talk toward what you desire, not away from what you don't want. You want to focus your current dominant thought on your desires, not your dislikes.
- "I can quit smoking."
- "I will lose 20 pounds."
- "I won't worry anymore."
- "I am in control of my habits."
- "I weigh a slim, trim _____ pounds."
- "I am a confident, optimistic person."
4. Keep your self-talk noncompetitive, rather than comparing yourself with others.
- "I will become president before he (or she) does."
- "I am president, fully capable of fulfilling my responsibilities."
Imaging the thing you're about to do in a positive manner will start you on the road to success. When we speak of imaging, we are talking about seeing what you are about to do, in the mind's eye. This does the same thing as our affirmations. Any time we use self-talk in any form we are dealing with the subconscious mind and begin to program new tapes or reprogram the old tapes.
Many people use negative imaging without realizing it. Just before they do something they begin to think of all the objections and all of the reasons why the project won't work. Then they start to think of how to manipulate the situation so it might work. By the time they get face to face with the person or project they have forgotten any professionalism they might have had and become a loser.
Positive imaging, like positive self-talk and positive affirmations, puts us on target to success. Always look for the good in any situation then begin to image good happening right now. With practice you can create positive experiences anytime and anywhere you desire. This is the sign of excellence in leadership people will follow to the ends of the earth.
Learn more about the author, John C Erdman.
Comment on this article
Posted by Chris Green MA, Everett, Washington |
May 27, 2009
Posted by nhm tanveer hossain khan, Dhaka Bangladesh |
May 28, 2009
WOWsome article john, when i started discovering about the positivity i have been getting support from everyone. as you wrote something on that topic which is definitely helping me to be myself.
i had worst problem, as you mentioned, some people pretend about the worst situation and imagine them before that happens in real. i was one of them.
actually i bought my first car and learned driving using that one, as i mentioned earlier about my worst problem. i used to pretend i'm gonna hit something and made up a picture in brain and thus that happened. i faced such problem quite a lot, now you know what? i don't even let my car get a single scratch. here we have to drive in a very narrow and crowded road.
after watching "the secret" i have started reorganizing myself. now i'm confident and i'm organized. i believe in god but i am sure he is not taking me out before i can fulfill my dream.
thanks for writing such a wonderful article. best wishes, i'm sure you are coming to visit bangladesh soon :)
Posted by Michele Edwards, Kirkland, Washington |
May 28, 2009
This is very inspiring and a great reminder. I will focus on this everyday! I especially found the suggestions / choices section very helpful. Thanks!
Posted by Sandy Rivers, San Mateo, California |
May 28, 2009
Thanks John. Your words changed my whole attitude today...not easy under the current circumstances.
Posted by Patrick Dunaway, Yucca Valley, California |
May 28, 2009
Yes great article! You could probably divide humanity into two camps the mainly positive and the mainly negative-only about 20% of the population from my perspective is positive and the rest is negative-that is sad as your mental outlook affects everything-but I have to confess it took me many years to believe this and for it to be real to me-some people dont even realize that they focus on the negative and if your around negative people, like in your family, that is what you grow up with so you think "hey that is the way it is". And unless, somewhere along the road of life, you around some really positive people that is how you live your life and never really know the difference between the two. So now more than ever in my area of Real Estate it is easier than ever to have a negative attitude and complain about the market which is what about 80% of the agents do-but the 20% who are positive are the ones making the sales. Well how do you stay positive? Follow John's suggestions and say for example dont read or watch the news for a week; the media is the bastion of negativity and plays upon our worst emotions and feelings and completely distorts everything-try it for a week or two and see if you dont feel different-
Patrick Dunaway Dunaway Real Estate Group Los Angeles Yucca Valley Palm Springs
Posted by Cari Barron, Edmonds, Washington |
May 28, 2009
Thanks John! Great article and something I needed to read today. It always helps to have a gentle reminder/attitude check from time to time. After reading your article, I realized I wasn't being as positive as I really could be. Thank you, and I will focus to do better! I can see myself happier and more successful already!! :)
Posted by Chris Long, Anacortes, Washington |
May 29, 2009
Great article, John! Sometimes it's very difficult to act and feel positive, especially when something negative holds our focus. Just reading through this article has re-energized my positive motivation and confident attitude!
Posted by Jo Ann McFarland, Round Rock, Texas |
May 29, 2009
Thank you so much John. I had learned some of these techniques before, but had forgotten them. I have begun to use those again and the new ones in your article. I'm feeling better already.
Posted by Brian Swanson, Forest Grove, Oregon |
May 30, 2009
That was a great article John. Just what I needed today. Thanks!
Posted by Nancy Hill, Renton, Washington |
May 30, 2009
Absolutely! I cannot agree more - thank you!
Posted by Hilary Harwell, Smyrna, Georgia |
Jun 05, 2009
hey john! great article! I have been noticing more and more in my own life that changing my perspective and eliminating negativity has brought about some amazing opportunities for positive change! I think it is so important be reminded of the need for positive thinking and positive self-talk. Thanks!
Posted by Fernandez G, Bangalore, Karnataka India |
Jun 14, 2009
Yes Great Article... Inspiring me.... Thanks
Posted by Nancy LaMont, Marysville, Washington |
Jul 20, 2009
It is good to be reminded from time to time about re-writing old tapes. Your article is very well written and full of good information.
I think that "re-writing" is a lifetime process. The more we "re-write" the more we grow, and the more we grow the more we "re-write."
Thanks for the reminder to clear the negative clutter again from my life tapes.
Posted by Julian Michael, Kirkland, Washington |
Sep 03, 2009
Good stuff as usual John. I believe in positive self-talk and people should do this daily if they are to succeed, in whatever realm. Many many MANY PEOPLE lie to themselves and to others about their self-talking habits to save face. It is the person that is honest with their self that truly will reap the rewards in the end. And yes, I like your line about "Winners always see the rewards of success in advance and always tell themselves "I can", "I will" and "I want to"; they do not fear the penalties of failure."....this is how I live my life daily!
- positive attitudes
- old tapes
- positive influnces
- positive affirmations