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Wendy Weiss
Wendy Weiss
The Queen of Cold Calling
New York City, New York
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Call-Killing Phrases

How often have you started a call to a friend, family member or business associate with the phrase, "How are you?"

Written Jan 25, 2008, read 843 times since then.
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How often have you started a call to a friend, family member or business associate with the phrase, "How are you?" I'm willing to bet the answer is a lot. I know I say it frequently. It's commonly used as a greeting, as a "hello."

Because "How are you?" is so commonly used, how often have you started your introductory calls with this phrase? If you do use this phrase as an opening for your introductory call, please stop immediately. It's an introductory call-killer, and this is why:

1. If you ask this question, you must be prepared for the answer. What if your prospect answers, "I'm having a lousy day. My back hurts, I have a cold, I hate my job and my wife left me yesterday"? Do you really care? Is this the reason for your phone call?

2. You lose control of the call. (This is probably the most important reason.) If your prospect does respond, "I'm having a lousy day. My back hurts, I have a cold, I hate my job and my wife left me yesterday," how are you going to get the call back on track?

3. It's a set up, a tip off to your prospect that you are making a s.ales call. It gives your prospect the opportunity to say, "I'm busy. What do you want?" (See number 2 above.)

Similar issues apply with the introductory call-killing phrases, "May I have a moment of your time?" and/or "Is this a good time to talk?"

With both of these phrases, you lose control of the call right at the beginning, before you've had a chance to say anything at all. If the prospect answers, "no," the call is over. These are also both tip off phrases. Friends, family and important business colleagues would probably not say, "May I have a moment of your time?" or "Is this a good time to talk?" Only someone making a sales call would use this language, and it's all too easy for your prospect to respond negatively.

I know that many of you reading this will argue, "Wendy, it's polite. It's polite to say, 'How are you?' as a greeting and it's polite to ask permission to speak." There are, however, many ways to greet a prospect - saying "hello" works just fine. It is also equally polite to simply introduce yourself and get to the point. This is not only polite, it's respectful of your prospect's time, it's more effective and it allows you to retain control of the conversation.

In order to be truly effective prospecting or selling by phone, it is imperative to control the conversations you have with prospects. You want to set yourself up to have the best possible conversation that you can have with any given prospect. While it is true that not all prospects will respond badly to the above phrases, why take the chance? Why risk blowing a lead at the beginning of the call if something as simple as not starting out with, "How are you?" can totally eliminate that possibility?

Say hello. Introduce yourself. Get to the point and say what you have to say. Then ask for what you want. This is the formula for a successful introductory call. Save the "How are you?" question for those whose answers really interest you.

Learn more about the author, Wendy Weiss.

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  • Marty Grogan
    Posted by Marty Grogan, Federal Way, Washington | Jan 29, 2008

    Excellent advice. Good calling also benefits from recognition that one is intruding, showing appreciation for time invested and seeking permission to continue. Making assumptions that what one has to say will be be hugely valued appears arrogant. May I continue?

    Unless one expects to close the deal on one call, social interaction during a sales call should emphasize relationship building. Customers must trust the salesperson before they will trust the product.

    A prospect who responds with a flat "no" probably wasn't one in the first place. Best to know up front.

  • Kristopher Sookma
    Posted by Kristopher Sookma, Bothell, Washington | Jan 30, 2008

    Very great tip Wendy, I do make the mistake of asking how people are at the beginning of my calls prospective or not. Although if im speaking to a client I do ask if they have a moment to talk, or if this is a good time before starting the call, I just think this approach for clients at least is respectful and polite. Great Article!!

  • Cathy Goodwin
    Posted by Cathy Goodwin, Seattle, Washington | Jan 31, 2008

    You are absolutely right. When a cold caller asks, "How are you today?" I answer, "Well, I was doing great until I got this phone call."

  • Caelan Huntress
    Posted by Caelan Huntress, Portland, Oregon | Mar 30, 2009

    good point--but I would be interested to know some of your favored introductory lines. I don't like to get right down to business, I like to make a connection first.

    How do you connect in the first moments of a call without saying 'how are you?'