Do You Feel What I Feel? How To Build More Empathy Into Your Marketing

If there's one thing I loved about the old 1990s Star Trek Series (the one with the Klingon and the bald guy and the robot who just wanted to be loved) it was the three comfy chairs that they had on the bridge.

I mean, in the "old school" Shatner series, there was just one chair. And Kirk sat there like a well coiffed King and lorded it over the rest of the crew.

But in "Next Gen" there were three chairs all crunched in next to each other.

One for the Captain.

On for the First Mate.

And one (and this is where this article starts to make sense) for the EMPATH.

Deanna Troi, the ship's counselor, was a buxom half-alien brunette decked out in a rather daring jumpsuit.

And Picard kept her right there on his left side during tense negotiations, big battles and even dinner parties because she UNDERSTOOD people.

She knew what they were feeling.

She knew what they were going through. (Heck, she even had crazy alien powers that almost made her understand people.)

Now, if you know anything about these crazy creatures we call humans you know that what we all really want is to be understood.

In fact, one of the best ways to calm somebody down if they're mad is to simply say "I understand your point of view. I went through something similar once and if I was going through what you're going through, I'd feel the same way." (I had a customer service guy do this one on me not so long ago and it worked like magic.)

And great salesmen know that if you can show that you UNDERSTAND the problems and the feelings that a prospect is going through, then you can radically increase your chances of making a sale. (Especially if what you've got to offer really is the answer to their dreams.)

But How Do You Use Empathy In Your Marketing?

After all, when you're talking about a website or a video or a radio ad or a sales letter or whatever else, you're not really there. It's not like you can play off your prospect, pick up off their verbal and non verbal cues and figure out what they're feeling.

One great way to establish empathy in your marketing is to tell a story about how you went through the same thing.

For instance, if you were selling a back pain remedy you would tell the story about how horrible and frustrating it was when you were wracked by back pain yourself.

You'd say something like:

I remember the last time my back really went out.

And, honestly, I just about broke down crying right there on the street thinking about what I knew was coming next. Hundreds and hundreds of dollars at the chiropractor. Endless hours stuck lying on my floor and staring at the ceiling. And that deep, deep feeling of frustration, anger and even shame at what I must have done wrong to deserve this."

(I could go on. As you might be able to tell I've had my fair share of experience with back pain. Mostly better now though =-))

In fact telling "I'm just like you" stories is one of the core strategies for selling just about anything.

And no matter what you've got to sell, whether it's financial advice, massages or crazy little widgets, you can probably think back to a time that you went through the same problem that your prospects are.

But What If You Can't?

What if you've never experienced "that sick click?" (or whatever other problem is plaguing your customers that you're going to solve.)

That's when you use what I like to call "maybe bullets."

They're not the only way to throw empathy into your marketing, but they are one way and, in my experience, they work really well.

What's a "maybe bullet?"

A "Maybe" bullet is a short statement that "paces" the feelings and emotions that your customer are going through and shows them that you UNDERSTAND them.

For instance, for a sales letter I wrote aimed at parents of children with ADD/ADHD I put the following "Maybe Bullets" way up early on the page:

Maybe your child has just recently been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and you’re smartly scouring the internet looking for sound, proven advice on how to manage or cure this problem and give your child all the advantages he or she deserves in life . . .

Maybe you yourself are a teenaged or adult sufferer of ADD or ADHD searching for a way to find the concentration and focus you need  . . . and are ready to finally say goodbye to the side effects, cost and danger of prescription drugs. And then the letter goes on.

Now, these bullets aren't expected to carry the full empathy load themselves. (And if you look at the website for this product at http://www.treatadhdnaturally.com/ you'll see a lot more empathy building.)

But they are a great way of calling out nice an early that you UNDERSTAND where your customers are coming from, that you're not just some soulless, heartless corporation and that maybe, just maybe, you're in this for more than just the money.

Used properly, Maybe bullets (and empathetic copy in general) are the next best thing to actually listening to someone's problems.

And showing them that you really do understand.