<p>The Golden Rule says “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Whoever came up with that rule must have lost a lot of friends and clients along the way! </p>
<p>Are you a professional service provider? A lawyer, accountant, financial adviser, health care professional, real estate agent, or other person whose success depends on both your expertise and also your relationship with your clients or patients? </p>
<p>Sometimes being the expert can get in the way of building those relationships. When you depend completely on your own communication and thinking style, you may annoy your clients or patients, and you may even drive them into the arms (and offices) of your competitors!</p>
<p>For example, if you are the outgoing and gregarious type, you might call a client and launch into a discussion of the latest trends that will affect that client. That approach may be welcomed by a client has the same style. But it will spell disaster with a client who a clock watcher and has a meeting coming up in five minutes! To that client, you will come across as inconsiderate. </p>
<p>Another example: you give your patient a thorough and detailed description of the test results, diagnosis, and treatment plan, and then you wonder about the glazed look on his face. Your approach is great with a patient who, like you, has a voracious appetite for detail, but bad news if your patient’s most urgent need is for empathy for his concerns and fears. To that patient, you will come across as cold and uncaring.</p>
<p>What can you do? Learn about communication and thinking styles, so that you can communicate in a way that matches this client’s or patient’s style, not yours. In my coaching practice I used the Herrmann Brain Dominance Instrument (HBDI)™(trademarks of Herrmann International). It’s an excellent tool for helping my clients identify their own thinking and communication style, understand the styles of others, and communicate in a way that suits the needs of others.</p>
<p>There are many others models as well (MBTI, Social Styles, DiSC, Enneagram, etc.). Work with a coach or take a workshop to become familiar with at least one of these models, and put it to work for you. You’ll be surprised at how valuable your new insights are in working not only with your clients but also with your staff, partners, and friends and family. </p>
<p>I like the HBDI™ because it’s based on how the brain functions. If you have a left-brain cognitive style, you value being analytical and factual. But your right-brain visceral client may need more emotional expression to make sense of what you are saying. A right-brain cognitive thinker wants to see the whole picture and can go crazy listening to a left-brain visceral thinker as she methodically lays out all the details. </p>
<p>Here are a few other insights based on the HBDI™ model. What do you do when faced with a problem?</p>
<ul>
<li>The <strong>left-brain cognitive thinker</strong> wants to analyze the data, take action, and get to the result. He might come across to the client as being pushy, ignoring the client’s need for emotional connection, or for looking at all options, or for planning the actions in detail.</li>
<li>The <strong>right brain cognitive thinker</strong> wants to look at the whole system how everything is interconnected. She might come across to clients as unfocused and abstract, ignoring the client’s need for precision, or immediate action, or attention to his personal concerns.</li>
<li>A person with the <strong>right-brain visceral style</strong> will seek support of others, talk through the problem, and want to take care of others. This person might appear to others as being overly sensitive and soft-hearted, perhaps ignoring the client’s needs for rigorous thinking, or decisions based on hard data, or understanding the big picture.</li>
<li>A person with a <strong>left-brain visceral style</strong> will make a detailed plan and carry out the plan on time and within budget. To others, this person might come across as inflexible and rigid, ignoring the client’s need for personalized attention, for flexibility, or for attention to results. </li>
</ul>
<p>As professional services providers, we have spent years developing our professional skills. It’s ironic that, to communicate effectively with our clients or patients, we may have to put aside what we do best. </p>
<p>The most effective and meaningful communication occurs between two human beings trying hard to understand each other, not between an expert and a person who is dependent on that expertise. Those roles can get in the way. Take off your expert hat, try your best to understand the client’s communication and thinking style, and then talk in those terms. </p>
<p>Rather than the Golden Rule, I suggest following the Down to Earth Rule:<em> </em> Know yourself. Know your client. Understand and appreciate the differences.<em> A</em>nd talk in the client’s language.</p>
2009-03-31T18:25:57Z
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dump-the-golden-rule-and-your-clients-will-love-you
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2009-04-09T19:00:00Z
2009-04-09T17:13:00Z
As professionals, we've spent years honing our skills. But when it comes to building solid relationships with our clients and patients, relying on our expertise, and what we do best, can actually get in the way.
DUMP THE GOLDEN RULE and your clients will love you!
1
2009-04-10T02:48:14Z