<p>We have all seen it many times, where one part of an organization is lead by a person who can at times be almost antagonistic to other Directors, Managers, Supervisors or Co-Workers. I hope this article will provide a bit of motivation to help you see an easy way to dissolve this kind of antagonistic, defensive approach to managing your people, (both above and below), and ultimately improve every area of your organization’s future!</p>
<p>People typically communicate from one of three stances; The Parent, The Adult and The Child. Understand these are not literal references to the individual, but rather an analogy based on the communication pattern being used. It breaks down like this:</p>
<p><strong>The Parent</strong> - From this stance we tend to communicate from an “I know better than you, so you should listen to me.” approach, (i.e., .“You will do this report THIS way because I SAID SO!”) Unfortunately, the knee-jerk reaction from the “communicatee” is to react from The Child stance, (see below). Communicating from The Parent mode frequently leaves people feeling lower self-worth and less likely to feel like they are part of the solution, rather just an expendable pawn.</p>
<p><strong>The Adult</strong> - This is the most desirable communication method. In this method, we communicate from a more rational stance, allowing very little emotion into the discussion, thus preventing others from maintaining either Parent or Child positions. (i.e., “I’d appreciate it if you’d prepare the report in this format, as this is most effective for my presentation to senior staff.”) This approach tends to leave people feeling like they are part of the team and that their efforts matter, this is the most conducive way to not only short-circuit those communicating from the other modes, but foster stronger team work and communication in all levels of an organization.</p>
<p><strong>The Child</strong> - This is usually a reaction to being communicated to from The Parent stance, which is just as ineffective. From this mode, excuses fly, fingers get pointed and blame runs rampant. Some employees operate from this mode frequently without provocation, causing a knee-jerk reaction by management to slide into Parent mode, which further exacerbates the situation, (i.e., “I don’t have time to do the report, John is wasting my time with his demands, Mary won’t do her part”, etc., etc.). Typically, those communicating from The Child feel like thier efforts are not appreciated, nor are their opinions. If many people are communicating from this stance in an organization, typically management is not doing a good job effectively communicating the goals of the organization and getting sufficient buy-in from all levels, which ultimately creates a "silo" mentality among groups and greatly reduces effectiveness of the overall team.</p>
<p>What the ultimate goal here should be, is to recognize these methods of communication and ALWAYS TRY to initiate or respond from The Adult stance. Doing so dissipates both The Parent and The Child stance and facilitates much more effective communication. Keep these in mind and try to remember to communicate from The Adult mode, regardless of “unreasonable demands” or “whining” thrown your way. I think you’ll find it a very effective way to reduce your overall stress and quickly improve communication, teamwork and productivity in your organization and your life!</p>
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2009-10-05T21:06:06Z
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effective-communication
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2009-10-17T08:08:32Z
2009-10-17T15:08:59Z
Words of wisdom regarding effective communication from the Dead Seal!
Effective Communication
1
2009-10-19T11:44:01Z