<p>It may sound odd coming from someone who&nbsp;has built a coaching career out of her love for people,&nbsp;but I am shy. I'm that woman at the networking meeting having one more cup of coffee just to have something to do (and trust me, more caffeine doesn't improve the situation). As a business owner, I knew I couldn't go on like this. I had to do something to grow my circle, and I wanted to do it in a way that was authentic and that felt good.</p> <p>Over the past year I've come up with strategies that have brought lots of wonderful new people and opportunities into my life and my business. And recently at a networking party, I found myself (gasp) actually having fun! I want you to have fun too. Let me know how these tips work for you.</p> <p><strong>1. Don't network. Meet interesting, wonderful people (or whatever adjectives you prefer)</strong></p> <p>Networking was so painful that I simply decided that I wasn't going to do it anymore. Instead, I wanted to meet interesting, wonderful people. If I came across someone online, in a class (anywhere really) and they seemed interesting to me, I'd reach out and send them an email or invite them for coffee. That decision has transformed my life. I have met so many beautiful, good people that I adore, people that have expanded my life, my heart and my business in so many ways. Yes, it was&nbsp;that simple.</p> <p><strong>2. Some people are your tribe. Others are not. And that's perfectly fine.</strong></p> <p>At a recent networking event, I immediately hit it off with some people. We talked easily. We were sincerely curious about each other. Awesome! And then sometimes I'd meet someone and quite quickly we'd both notice, "Oh, we're not each other's people." In fact, I met one group of women that looked at me rather like I was an alien, none of us quite knowing what to say next. And guess what? It was absolutely fine. For the first time in my life I didn't hold a judgment about myself or about them. I didn't rethink what I was wearing or replay in my mind what I had said. I didn't think, "Snobs!" I just noticed, "Wow, we don't relate to each other. Fascinating!" and moved on. How liberating!</p> <p><strong>3. You carry your welcome mat with you wherever you go.</strong></p> <p>One of the things I've noticed about my shyness is that it mostly disappears when I am welcoming someone into my space. If it's my house or my Nia class or my workshop, I confidently invite people in. When I'm entering someone else's space, that's when I'm tentative.</p> <p>Then it hit me. Every time I encounter someone I have an opportunity to put out the welcome mat. It doesn't matter where I am physically; I am always carrying around my own space. And so at the most recent networking event I attended, if I made eye contact or saw someone looking a bit hesitant, I reached out my hand, shared a big smile and simply said, "Hi, I'm Jamie" (subtext, "You are welcome here). </p> <p>Who are you going to welcome into your life?</p> 2008-10-20T13:46:17Z 2008-10-21T04:46:23Z -15.833 1727 2004 true 4 12029 give-up-networking-and-grow 42 2008-10-21T04:46:19Z 2008-10-21T04:46:19Z

Can a simple shift in attitude help you expand your circle? You bet. A shy girl shares how.

0 2009-02-24T09:46:39Z