<p><em>You’re fired.</em></p>
<p>The only person who actually enjoys saying these words is Donald Trump. Terminations churn up a hurricane of emotions and concerns for just about everyone else.</p>
<p><strong>Tough on Both Sides</strong></p>
<p>Employees don’t like getting fired. It’s difficult to understand or accept and brings forth a range of emotions from fear to shame to betrayal. (and gratitude, albeit rarely) Fortunately, there are numerous venues for the employee to seek help or guidance both internally and externally. In fact, there are new online resources available like <a href="http://www.officepolitics.com" title="Office Politics">Office Politics.</a></p>
<p>Employees aren’t the only ones who find terminations upsetting, though. Managers find it challenging, too. They also experience conflicting emotions and distress when faced with the prospect of terminating an employee. I saw that up close and personal when I coached a manager who had trouble letting employees go a few years ago. </p>
<p><strong>Stuck Chuck</strong></p>
<p>This manager, let’s call him Chuck, saw himself as a nice guy who was typically interested in helping his employees succeed. He mentored. He coached. He sent people to training and then different coaches. </p>
<p>What Chuck didn’t do as well was give clear feedback about shortcomings and, frankly, he wouldn’t fire anyone. He never fired a soul. Why? He felt bad about it. So, he didn’t do it until he was absolutely forced to by some undeniable issue. Chuck is, well, stuck.</p>
<p><strong>The Problem</strong></p>
<p>Chuck would benefit from learning more coping skills. He had feelings of shame, guilt, sadness, self-doubt and fear when he considered terminating an employee. That’s normal. Most managers do.</p>
<p> <strong>Helping Managers Cope</strong></p>
<p>Chuck must increase his resilience as a manager. It’s all about finding a way to navigate those tough times when personal vulnerabilities clash with job responsibilities, i.e. terminations, performance reviews, etc. It’s tough but possible.</p>
<p>Below are a few insights I shared with Chuck that might help you or a manager you know get through a termination a little easier. Of course every situation varies, and you should do what you’re comfortable with, but since this is a decidedly uncomfortable topic, try something new.</p>
<p><strong>Tips to Help Managers Cope with Termination</strong></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Give Yourself Permission</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>Give yourself permission to do your job. Your company hired you as a manager to evaluate others. It’s your job to judge performance. Acknowledge that firing someone will bring up a bevy of feelings. (See tip #3)</p>
<p>Become more self-aware by asking yourself:</p>
<p><em>What do I fear about firing someone? </em></p>
<p><em>What do I think it says about me?</em></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Know When to Say When</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>Some managers never want to say goodbye. Yes, it’s great to help an employee succeed, but you also have to know when to stop trying to bring performance up to par. Often, managers like Chuck keep pushing because it feels painful to stop. It’s not fair to you or the employee to hold him or her in a job that is unsuitable, even if your intentions are good.</p>
<p>Examine your motives by asking yourself:</p>
<p><em>Do I think the coaching/training/etc will actually bring results?</em></p>
<p><em>Am I trying to help because I feel guilty, sad, or responsible?</em></p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Get Support</strong></li>
</ol>
<p>Get support in thinking about your concerns. Chuck realized that he wanted someone to talk with about his feelings and how they impacted his actions or attitudes. (his wife and friends were tired of hearing about it)</p>
<p>Find a safe place to talk whether it’s your internal Employee Assistance Plan (EAP), human resources, or an Ombudsman. Or, look for helping professions like a conflict coach.</p>
<p>Firing someone is never easy on a manager-whether it’s your first time or tenth. Now you have tools to help you be more resilient and face terminations with less anxiety or stress. Even the Donald can’t say no to that.</p>
2009-06-21T20:01:26Z
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helping-managers-cope-with-termination
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2009-06-27T14:00:34Z
2009-06-27T21:01:03Z
It's not always easy being the boss. Especially when you have to lay someone off. These helpful tips will help you give yourself a break and still do what's best.
Helping Managers Cope with Termination
1
2009-06-27T21:01:03Z