How Not To Do Sales

It's a challenging economic time and everyone is trying to grow their business. The pressure is on to get the sale. Before you put your sales hat on make sure you know what to do and not do.

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  Posted by Elizabeth N. Tran, Bellevue, Washington | Nov 11, 2009

  I had a gentleman call me from a networking event wanting to introduce me his practice. He didn't really pay attention to my card. If he did, then he would realize that I was in the same business as him. I guess there are just some sales people who just really try to play the numbers game and contact as many people as possible.
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  Posted by Silvia Pepperman, Scotts Valley, California | Nov 12, 2009

  i think there are still a lot of people who just don't "get it"...yet. sales/business/business building has always been and always will be about building relationships. we all would LOVE a quick, easy sale (especially right now :-0). but most of us know that the goal is long-term (at least mine is) so that when that person moves onto to another company, changes positions, etc. they take you with them. THAT'S a relationship. The hard sell is wham, bam, thank you ma'am and not for me. thanks for a good article.
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  Posted by Todd Bartlett, Rancho Palos Verdes, California | Nov 12, 2009

  Arden thanks for the article. Arden, the hard sell is such a turn of a client so it amazes me in modern day people still do it. Arden, over use of your name can drive you nuts, don't you think? :-)
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Ha, Todd, that's really funny. Now Todd, it's good to know you agree with me, because Todd, the hardsell is really annoying.

  Thanks Liz and Silvia for your comments. Yes, it really is amazing how people still use the hard sell approach to sales. I'm not sure who it works with. But, we enlightened Biznik members know better.

  To your relationship building success!
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  Posted by Deborah Drake, Bellevue, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Arden,

  I'm chuckling as I read the comments above while appreciating the point you make by simply telling the story of what happened to you recently.

  And speaking of Dale Carnegie, when was the last time any of us read those classic texts for success of his.

  Business wisdom may seem to change, get packaged differently from time to time, but in truth, it is in it's essence like sacred texts. Sometimes requiring additional translation and filtering but always relevant in their original forms.

  I suspect there will always be hard-selling, hard-working sales men and women. And they may find that fewer and fewer people respond to their messages that are all about sales.

  Being truthful with them, politely, is the most helpful thing I believe we can do.

  Thanks for sharing!

  Deborah Drake - *Marketing Coach & Enrollment Specialist *
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  Posted by Chanel Carlascio, vancouver, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Thanks for writing this article. I have in the last year decided to market myself one-on-one, through networking and building relationships, rather than making sales calls.

  Your article just reaffirmed my strategy.

  I know I don't want to be Ms. HardCore Sales, but sometimes it is tempting. Building relationships takes time, effort, and a lot of hard work ~ they may or may not produce bankable results right away.

  But, what I do know is that I don't want to make people feel about me the way you felt about Mr. HardCore Sales, ~ and I so very much appreciate the reminder that relationships are the way to go.

  Keep up the good work!

  Chanel Carlascio
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  Posted by Rachel Whalley, MA, MFA, LMHCA, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  I've received more than a few of those hard-sell calls and conversations over the last four years of being in business for myself.

  I really appreciate how you're doing me a service, Arden, by (hopefully) educating a few more people that this way of trying to do business is a poor one.

  And you're doing them a service, too. We all need to feel MORE connection with each other, not less.

  And, if I may share a moment that made me a little prouder of me, the last time I received a hard-sell in writing, I paused, took a day to release my annoyance, and then responded with simple validation that I appreciated knowing about that person's business and I would keep an eye out for potential biz for them.

  Wouldn't you know it? Now that person and I have developed a connection, because he responded to me with more genuineness and gratitude that I heard him. Now he's let go of some of the Sales Guy and bringing forth more of the true person inside.

  If I remember what the very start of my biz was like, and how it feels when I'm getting desperate from staring at a quiet phone, I have a lot of compassion for what's likely driving Sales Guy.

  This is a different experience for me, so thanks for the opportunity to share about it. :)

  Healing for Good Girls
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  Posted by Diana Fletcher, Murrysville, Pennsylvania | Nov 12, 2009

  It's interesting to read this article right now because you mentioned a Chamber. I have just made a decision to stop going to my Chamber and will not renew my membership. I have given business to members, told them about events where I thought they could get customers and tried to establish relationships. I have gotten nothing back. Not even a signup for one of my free teleclasses! They are this wonderfully friendly group, but I think they don't know what to do with me-Coach, author, speaker. Or maybe they don't truly understand networking. Oh, and they have tried to sell me many things. Oh well, live and learn!
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  Posted by Judy Soccio, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | Nov 12, 2009

  Great article. I'm reminded of a friend who desperately wanted to get married - but he hated the idea of dating! He attended every mixer and party he could, never stopping long enough to make an actual connection with a woman, and then mourned the fact that the women were shallow! We can't get without giving first.
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  Posted by Hugh Wigmore, Winter Garden, Florida | Nov 12, 2009

  Hi Arden,

  Great article, this is so true. I look forward to reading more from you.

  Thanks.
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  Posted by Keane Ng, Bellevue, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Good article.

  I think sales in general is going through a revolution. Nobody wants to be a "lead", they want to be "people".

  I wish I could say that's my line, but I heard Spencer Rascoff say this at a convention a month ago. He couldn't be farther from the truth.
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  Posted by Nancy Grant, Portland, Oregon | Nov 12, 2009

  A great article Arden. Your real life story certainly brought the message home. Thank you!
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  Posted by Steve Powell, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Good article, Arden. I like applying these principles to all the "sales" areas of my life: taking phone reservations, tweeting, trying to "sell" a friend on a movie. ALL of your points apply! I'll print it out for my office staff. An interesting example of doing it right already is that we never say ours is the only tour in town; there are much variety and some people prefer things we don't offer. Or, as another example, if they have a car and don't want our value added, they should drive to Boeing themselves. They always seem pleasantly SHOCKED when we suggest that and give them the direct phone number! Thank you.
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  Posted by Silvia Pepperman, Scotts Valley, California | Nov 12, 2009

  My question: is Social Media Networking going to take away the "face to face" of relationship building? How can one REALLY build a RELATIONSHIP sitting at a computer and promising something or acting as someone who may not really exist? Am I the only one who feels this way?
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  Posted by wilder baker, darien, Connecticut | Nov 12, 2009

  Silvia, I tend to agree with you being of an age in which face to face was virtually the only way to build relationships. But, people in the Y and X Generations are pretty comfortable with all the texting, IMing, Face Booking ways of communicating so I think we need to recognize these means of building relationship foundations if not cementing them. Certainly, when I meet someone with whom I have been emailing the relationship is further along than when I meet someone for the first time face to face.
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  Posted by Sandy Jones-Kaminski, San Francisco, California | Nov 12, 2009

  Great share and tips Arden! I agree that these challenging economic times have people acting a little more desperately than usual, and, yes, it's sometimes painful to be on the receiving end of their behavior. That said, I think the best thing we can do is what you did here: write about the experience (share) and try to rehabilitate the offenders (offer tips). p.s. I use the exact same Dale Carnegie quote in my new book, "I'm at a Networking Event--Now What???" you can check it out on Amazon. :)
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  Posted by Sherry Parker, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  What a great article! I am glad to see that so many people have read this post. The concept is so simple yet so often overlooked. I could feel the tension and desparation of the "Hardcore Salesperson" in your story.

  Not only does the naturally unfolding approach you recommend feel better to the person being engaged, so that they want to make a connection, but it also relieves the stress and fear of the person initiating the contact, by taking the focus off of themselves and putting it on the other person.

  Thank you bringing relationship building 101 to the forefront of our attention!
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  Posted by John Bernstein, Henderson, Nevada | Nov 12, 2009

  Hi Arden,

  Your article makes a lot of sense. After 26 years in media sales and sales management; I learned that sales was ultimately about relationship building and really caring about your clients. There are too many sales people following a "script" whether it's given to them by their manager or it's part of an old sales paradigm that they think they should use. When the sales climate gets rougher; that's the time to use relationship building techniques even more and not pound on people relentlessly and then hang up with the first bit of sales resistance. Thanks for the reminders. Best, John Bernstein
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  Posted by Lynn Fredricks, Portland, Oregon | Nov 12, 2009

  I think this is another example of telemarketing vs sales; there are some business people who think placing warm bodies at terminals and giving them a script is a way to sell.

  Sadly, it does work sometimes (think of scams against the elderly), and the cost analysis guru of these organizations get validated.

  How I look at sales and I think at the heart of what you suggest is very simple - the sale isn't about the salesman, its about the buyer.

  When I go to tradeshows, I spend most of my time in quite corners or conference rooms, making deals; the fun comes from going to clients (or our own) booths when I have free time and doing some sales. With all other media working to bring folks to the booth, all I have to do is ask "what are you working on now?". They talk, I listen. If the product has a benefit, I give a very short "oh yeah, we do that!" response and give them a 5 second demo. I can't remember the last time it didn't result in a sale. They themselves build the relationship they want with me.
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  Posted by greg thayer, Renton, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Great article. The sad thing is that amateurs who use these “throw mud against the wall and see what sticks” techniques make it more difficult for sincere networkers because it makes people cynical and suspicious, especially the general public.
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  Posted by Mike Young, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Good advice Arden, the more I let networking come to me the better it is. I get more referrals and find it more enjoyable.

  I still need to make cold calls rtc.... But I do keep the cold calling separate from my networking groups.
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  Posted by Joe Townsend, Redmond, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Thanks for the story and the thoughts on the better way -- relationship building. I've even seen the same hard sell techniques used at networking events, including Biznik events. The last time, the guy had an audience surrounding his mini-circus. some of my attempts to meet people were met with, "not now, I want to hear this." So, as Lynn wrote, this works, sometimes.
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  Posted by Samuel McDonald, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Great article. Since I'm in sales I take heed when I read about what Not to do in sales Arden. And this story made me say outloud, "oh my" and gasp!

  I'm a firm believer that people buy from people they like. Todd didn't even work on that angle with much more thought than check the lead follow-up box with someone he met.

  I have worked for years making genuine connections w/my customers and I would find it very difficult to launch into any sales blah, blah without knowing about the person, what they are interested in and know about what needs they might have.

  I didn't realize how much skill was involved in Knowing when to politely stop when I have nothing in the bag to offer you or the company. For those of us who really do care about other people and our sales career this seems so basic. It's all about you, not me.

  Salespeople get a bad rap sometimes...and rightfully so. This was a perfect example of why we ALL are so guarded and CRINGE when someone starts into a sales pitch! Sigh
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  All great comments. Sounds like we've all experienced this kind of sales technique and don't like it.

  I really like what Rachel Whalley said about how she was gracious and helpful to a hard core sales person and it resulted in a friendship. That's just beautiful! Yes, putting aside our resentment and helping someone first is a lovely way to approach life.

  For those of you questioning social media, I agree with Wilder Baker. Social media is not a passing fad and it's should be another way we build relationships. I'm an avid social media user and it has extended my network and my knowledge of the world. I've attended a few tweetups (meetings where people on Twitter gather to socialize) and having been tweeting with people really jump starts a conversation and connection when we meet in person.

  I appreciate all of the comments. If you want to learn more, I am co-hosting a sales seminar with Joyce Elder today at 3pm in Seattle. There are currently two spaces left.
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  Posted by Penny Woodward, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Hi Arden, It really sounds like Mr. hard core needs your help! As always your advice is very helpful in knowing what not to do and how to turn things around.

  Thank you for sharing. I look forward to seeing you at other events.
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  Posted by Michelle Panzlaff, New Westminster, British Columbia Canada | Nov 12, 2009

  Hi Arden,

  Great article and lots of great response. I am new to my own business myself and trying to network and build relationships myself. I know how hard it is and it takes time, yet I feel allot better about it than being a "hardcore" salesperson.

  I would rather make a friend or alliance and work together than push my service hard and slam the door if they say no.

  I will just stick to networking, relationship building, warm lead calls and trying to find out from a potential client where the "Pain" is and how can help alleviate it, even if that means sending them to another business, in the chance I cant help them personally.

  There is something about the ability to be the hardcore salesman that intrigues me however. I admire that they can do this, right or wrong, it takes hootspah!

  Cheers, Michelle
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  Posted by Karen Abbott, Olympia, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Hi Arden, I feel enlightened. I'm learning to like the sales part of my photography business and I think I will like it more by applying what you've talked about. I like the idea of making friends more than making conquests. Great photo by the way.
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  Posted by Carole Cancler, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Wonderful article, Arden! I especially love the way you told the story--real world style.

  I thought the same way as Lynn; Hardcore's sales style is very reminiscent of telemarketers. You answer the phone and they start in with the blah, blah, never stopping to check who you are, what you do, and whether or not you would be interested in what they have to sell.

  Several years ago, on Oprah (or some talk show), a telemarketing excpert talked about the techniques of the business. He stated explicityl that the goal of telemarketing was to "embarrass you into buying". Once I heard that, I became much more abrupt at interrupting telemarketers by saying "I'm not interested, thank you" and hanging up without waiting for their response. In the few instances where I hang on for a bit and listen to their followup, it's just more blah, blah.

  However, I like some of the suggestions here about trying to build a relationship anyway (well, not with telemarketers, but with people I've met through networking). It never hurts to take the high road.

  That's why the service you are offering, Arden, is so important.
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  Posted by Joanna Benoit, Jacksonville, Florida | Nov 12, 2009

  That was a great Article!
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  Posted by Krysta Gibson, Gold Bar, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Thanks for a great article, Arden. I think what we are being reminded of is that we're all human beings and want to be treated that way - with respect and dignity. Whether we use social media, face-to-face, telephone or email - people respond when they are treated with respect. I think it is the old "do unto others" idea. That will never go out of style!
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  Posted by Michelle Panzlaff, New Westminster, British Columbia Canada | Nov 12, 2009

  I remember a time when I was young and had a job for 3 days in which I had to do telemarketing for a charity. Man that was tough! I had nightmares by second night; so many people shouted at me, swore and just hung up. I hated it.

  Once not to long ago I had a job at a company where half of time was teleprompter script to invite people and it was a little better yet still hard to do. I hated it and after 6 month there I told the owner I was going to leave unless he moved me to customer service instead. He did yet still had to do some sit down sales which I had a hard time with. It was very high pressure.

  What I learned... it is not something I enjoy and probably not something they enjoy also. So I am kind when I turn them down. It is never personal and I let them know it. Well unless they are rude, in which case I may be more abrupt.

  Thanks for great article and enjoying reading all the replies too.

  Michelle
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  Posted by Mary Stursa, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  So true!

  I play a little game when I go to networking events. As I schmooze, I talk to everyone about THEM, never offering information about myself. I wait to find out if they'll ask who I am or what I do. What I have found is, the vast majority of people never ask me any questions, but rather shoot their "firehose" sales pitch in my direction. Interrupting them to leave is actually pretty easy, and my experience is that they don't even notice it because they immediately zero in on their next target.

  My theory is that if they don't have the presence of mind to ask about me, then they're really not interested in me, and whatever I say about myself won't get received by their brains anyway. It certainly saves on business cards, and I don't get on so many unsolicited newsletter lists. I also have a sense of who not to do business with.

  Of course, this really makes memorable those people who DO ask questions. It lets me focus my time and energy on the people who are truly interested in a two-way conversation. And since there's so much of the hard sales method still occuring, the people who actually converse really shine through.

  I'd rather leave an event with one quality lead, business resource, or new friend than with 35 worthless business cards.
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  Posted by Lois Tomlinson, Vancouver, British Columbia Canada | Nov 12, 2009

  Excellent article Arden! I agree with Mary, it is very easy to excuse oneself away from the conversation when they are blatant about their sales pitch. I actually avoid some types of networking groups for this very reason as some are a game to see how many business cards can be collected. Relationships are a much more effective way to go. Thanks! Lois
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  Posted by Shawn Jezerinac, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  Well said Arden. Thanks for putting this out here. I'm thankful to say I haven't experienced much of this through Biznik, but it is still there. Maybe the handful of people that still use poor sales etiquette will get the hint from your post.
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  Posted by Keith German, Pflugerville, Texas | Nov 12, 2009

  What an uninvited, frustrating experience for you Arden; one that unfortunately I have contributed to in the past. However, here you are now using it for the benefit of others. I actually own a business today to combat this. The goal is "to transform the software technology buying and selling experience." It's a startup with exciting opportunities ahead. I also created a blog to open dialogue on this very topic - http://blog.solutionexplorers.com/. Arden, your post really hit home for me. Collectively, folks that want and even require a more professional experience CAN change how we buy and sell so that the experience is rewarding! Thanks.
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  Posted by Bonnie Dyck, Calgary, Alberta Canada | Nov 12, 2009

  Thanks Arden, for putting this information "out there." Recently, I was approached by a hard core sales guy. After considering his product, I politely told him, that this was not the right time for us. Like your guy, he missed the idea that building relationships in spite of the immediate answer, is really important. He responded by going on a personal attack. Well, if I was every going to do future business with this person, he destroyed whatever trust was developed. I politely told him the conversation was over. The crazy thing is, he still sends me invitations to his events. Was I too polite?
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  Posted by Rachel Whalley, MA, MFA, LMHCA, Seattle, Washington | Nov 12, 2009

  @Bonnie, I think sometimes it's our job or calling to let people have a new perspective on themselves, and sometimes it isn't.

  The key for me is in how I feel internally--do I feel compelled to let them know the impact of their behavior, or does it feel unimportant to me? That's often a starting place for deeper inquiry, for me. (If I feel compelled, is it because of some kind of "need" of my own, or is it really because I feel it would be a service to the other? If I don't feel compelled, is it a cop-out or am I really sensing that they're not ready to receive me as a teacher in this moment?)

  So really, I think it's a question for you to answer inside yourself-- did you honor yourself in that moment by being polite or were you stepping back from the harder task of offering challenging feedback?

  (When to challenge and when to not is a question I sit with frequently, so I appreciate the chance to discuss it.)

  Healing for Good Girls
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  Posted by Diana Fletcher, Murrysville, Pennsylvania | Nov 12, 2009

  Great Information and thoughts here!
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  Posted by Anne Mccranie, Portland, Oregon | Nov 13, 2009

  Good Stuff! I love the Dale Carnegie quote.

  Lately I've been trying to shut up about me and just ask the right questions. This often leads to a connection or a chance to help solve a problem for this prospective client.

  If you are truly interested in getting to know a person this will come through and seem less like a sales pitch and more like an easy conversation.
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  Posted by Patrice Brown, East Hartford, Connecticut | Nov 13, 2009

  Well written article, it's amazing how many mistakes people seem to still make. It is only common sense and logic after all...
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 13, 2009

  I am overwhelmed and excited by all the comments. Now if only my Twitter followers would engage with me like you guys are. Ha!

  I've read so many wise and helpful comments. I love that Steve and a few others have referred people to their competition. Wow, that's confidence!

  I love the reminders that getting rejected is really hard and to have compassion for hardcore sales people, unless they are rude. And the bottom line is to treat others as we wish to be treated. Have compassion. Such a good reminder.

  Bonnie, polite is always appropriate, but sometimes we need to be a little more politely direct with our feedback. Hard core sales people tend to have thick skin so what sounds like a big back off to us possibly sounds like a maybe to them.

  Anyway, keep the comments coming. It's so great to have a community of people to share thoughts and support as small business owners.
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  Posted by Joe Costantino, Abington, Massachusetts | Nov 13, 2009

  Arden,

  Excellent article and a firm reminder that hard core selliing doesn't work in today's environment. I don't even suggest clients use a relatively cold call as a tactic for their marketing activities.

  We all do business with those who have taken the time to build credibility and trust, so unless this gentleman uses this approach it's probably not worth even engaging with him.
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  Posted by Lynn Fredricks, Portland, Oregon | Nov 13, 2009

  @Arden and Bonnie,

  I have to agree with Arden - the hard sell guy does what he does because he is ignoring societal norms. What this guy does understand (reaching to the inner salesman under that hard sell "hard shell") is when his numbers aren't coming up like he needs.

  In many ways, any type of sales promotes self honesty because your master ends up being a spreadsheet, and the numbers are hard to ignore.

  Eventually, they do get it.
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  Posted by John Voris, Carmel, California | Nov 13, 2009

  Arden,

  Your excellent article demonstrates that sales training still has pockets of ineptitude. Your caller did not derive that technique out of a vacuum.

  Every seasoned sales representative agrees that the essence of selling involves at least being natural and building relationships.

  However, the Traditional Sales Training Industry teaches those new to the sales industry, how to assume an alien persona and manipulate the prospect. Then dipping even lower, there is your experience. Amazing!

  Thanks for sharing your encounter and insight.

  John Voris - Motivation Analyst
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  Posted by Bonnie Dyck, Calgary, Alberta Canada | Nov 13, 2009

  Arden, Thanks for the excellent article. There is much truth in all the feedback too!
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  Posted by Troy Erickson, Chandler, Arizona | Nov 13, 2009

  Hi Arden,

  I get so tired of these techniques, and am amazed that they ever work at all. I am a true believer that you build a relationship first, and develop someone's trust. Your article was spot on, and I am glad you shared this experience.
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  Posted by Tia Ribary, Vancouver, Washington | Nov 13, 2009

  Arden, what a great article! Thank you for putting it so clearly and for including such a clear example of how NOT to do business. I love that you suggest we be friends to our clients and colleagues. I think it's a great way to go.
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  Posted by Matt Walters, Tacoma, Washington | Nov 13, 2009

  Funny how 2 people got info, probably from the same book and one chose the EASY route (say my name, say my name..) and the other has obviously chosen the AUTHENTIC route that Carnegie really intended. Be personal. Be real.

  Great reminder, Arden.

  Hmmm. Maybe Networking really isn't a numbers game...
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  Posted by Howard Howell, Seattle, Washington | Nov 14, 2009

  Arden... Thank you for a great article. You are so right that "sales done well is an art". Thank you for helping educate us about proper sales etiquette.

  I would like to collaborate with you sometime and direct people towards your seminars and services. I know I could surely use your help. I hope to meet you at a live event soon. I promise to mind my manners. ...Howard
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 14, 2009

  Howard, thanks much for your comment. It's great to see a sales consultant who doesn't teach the hardsell method.

  Yes, let's connect sometime. I am not a sales pro, far from it. But I know what doesn't work and I know the etiquette around connecting with people, so that's been my guidance.
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  Posted by Ted Hilliard, Tracyton, Washington | Nov 15, 2009

  For me, everything is about relationships - and that means QUALITY relationships. They are built over time, while being nurtured, honored and respected. That is the formula that has worked for me over the past 40 or so years.

  Ted
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  Posted by Gwendolyn Ward, Leesburg, Virginia | Nov 15, 2009

  While networking, I have met more "Mr. and Mrs. Hardcore sales” people and it's exhausting. They are so focus on self promotion that they do not see the glaze look in your eyes, your repulsion or hear the silence on your end of the telephone.

  Some even interrupted a conversation just to ask for my business card or to distribute their cards and then moved on. Why would I call them with that 3 second rude introduction? It’s unbelievable to see people not understanding the difference between listening and waiting for their turn to speak.
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  Posted by Demetrius Pinder, Newark, Delaware | Nov 17, 2009

  "A good sales person is not a sales person; rather s/he is a person who makes friends who then decide to do business with them. Let’s not be Mr. or Ms. Hardcore Sales Guy/Gal. Let’s be a friend to our clients and prospective clients."

  Right on the money! When talking to potential web design clients, I do my best to let clients know I am there to service their needs and I care about their business. Even if they decide not to go with my service!
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  Posted by Bonnie Dyck, Calgary, Alberta Canada | Nov 18, 2009

  Great attitude Demetrius!

  I think there is a saying, "People won't care, until they know how much you care."
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 18, 2009

  So many great comments. I'm happy to say I had a really great sales call (although personally I hate any sales call). This guy did it right. He reminded me how I might remember him. He asked several questions about my business and he spent 95% of the conversation getting to know me. He explained what he does and when I didn't hang up he then invited me to a presentation. Because I don't need what he's offering, I politely said it didn't make sense for me to attend, but that if I knew of people needing his services I would refer them to him.

  I was impressed by his approach and his effort to build a relationship.

  I think cold, even somewhat warm calls are really hard to do and I avoid them like the plague. But, if you have to do them, this young man did it right.

  P.S. Bonnie I love the quote: "People won't care, until they know how much you care."
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  Posted by Nancy Lynch Anderson, Los Alamos, New Mexico | Nov 18, 2009

  My favorite definition of sales is helping someone get what they want. As long as you are focused on that - you will be successful.
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  Posted by Debby Smith, Kent, Washington | Nov 18, 2009

  This is one of the reasons I'm hesitant to go to networking events! The old "hard sale" & "it's all about me" days are gone". I used to get emails from a friend market "urgent" and it made me crazy! I agree with Nancy - sales is about helping somone get what they want!! Thanks for the great enlightening post!
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  Posted by Michelle Panzlaff, New Westminster, British Columbia Canada | Nov 18, 2009

  Had a funny experience today. Well, maybe not too funny yet since it happens to me from time to time it somehow amuses me and at the end of this note you may know why.

  To start the story, I met a contact, a financial advisor, who said they would like to meet for coffee to share each others business ideas and get to know each other more.

  I know that generally when they initiate this it is really to talk to me about their business and soft sell. I like this soft sell as they take time to get to know me also and what I can do. Another reason I don’t mind meeting financial reps is that there is great opportunity to help their clients. Since I provide free presentations and can tailor it to cover financial file systems.

  Yet, I digress. Seeing this as a win-win situation I am not terrible concerned to sell them, and I know that I won’t get sold either. (PS: Not that I don't value the service, it's just, I already have a financial advisor in mind for myself personally)

  So again, I head to the appointment, and guess what; yet again I am stood up. :(
  She actually forgot about our appointment and was in a whole other city when I called. Now since this has happened to me 5 times this last 6 months from people who from what I gather wanted and where trying to sell me, I just have to put my frustration aside, smile and know, they need me! That is a good feeling.

  My challenge, I am not a hard sell. I don't wish to push my service on them yet I wonder just how many valuable appointments they miss or how many important documents may go missing also.

  Am I perfect? No way, yet I do have an excellent track record for doing what I say and being where I need to be, with little exception. My hope is that it was a rarity that she forgot me and she doesn’t do this too much.

  So, why do I write this? I guess to say when you are going for a sale, soft or hard, try to be organized and show up. 

  Pardon the rant; I felt it was somewhat in line and I really wanted to get it out.

  More on topic:

  The good part of the day was earlier I met a woman with a service that can help me. Her taking the time to really know what I do and then taking time to give me really good information about what she did, (Actually, she shared such vital information that with all she taught me I could have just done the work myself in honesty) Yet her kindness, warm concern and sharing of such vital information only made me trust her even more. She won the sale for me!

  Michelle
• 

  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 19, 2009

  Thanks for sharing Michelle. They sure do need you. They need me too because that is simply rude. I just tweeted an etiquette tip today that when you call for a meeting you need to confirm it the afternoon before a morning meeting or confirm it in the morning if it's an afternoon meeting.

  I find often I'm the one who ends up doing the confirming because people don't. But at least it keeps me from waiting for someone who isn't going to show up.

  Glad the meeting ended on a postive note for you.
• 

  Posted by Michelle Panzlaff, New Westminster, British Columbia Canada | Nov 19, 2009

  Hello Arden,

  Thank you. Yes it did end on a possitive note for me since there was a good thing that happened today. I agree, if you call an appointment you need to confirm and be there! :) I was already in the area, yet now I do call before I leave. Unless of course it is a known reliable person I am meeting.

  I am very happy to know, that your ducks are in a row.

  Michelle
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  Posted by Samir Tamhane, Mumbai, Maharashtra India | Nov 19, 2009

  Greetings from Mumbai & Nice of you to share your experience!!.

  Sales happen only when "needs and mind" meet and Selling is an Art which gets sharpened and precise only with practice.

  We really dont make efforts to analyse how experienced and matured the sales person is!! though such interactions can give insight to qualitative aspects of sales persons.

  Precisely that's the reason many companies invest resources and work hard towards developing a sales person by sharpening their skill sets resulting yields rich dividends and quality output

  regards Samir
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  Posted by wilder baker, darien, Connecticut | Nov 19, 2009

  One of the ways I put myself at ease - or try to - when at networking sessions where I don't know anyone, is to remember that people enjoy learning and educating themselves about new services and, indeed. new people. In turn, that reminds me to do the questioning and listening first and also to present my services and business in an informative way rather than a "selling" way. This seems to resonate for many of the new people I meet and often starts a relationship.
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  Posted by MaryJane Mitchell, Tujunga, California | Nov 19, 2009

  Thanks Arden for reminding us to establish a connection with the other person in front of us or on the phone.

  MaryJane Mitchell
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  Posted by Don Zimmerman, Mill Creek, Washington | Nov 19, 2009

  Good article.. I used to feel like I probably shouldn't be in sales because the typical training was 180 degrees from your advice. Nice to see the pendulum swing back where it belongs. It never feels good to be ambushed. Even if it is over lunch.

  Don Zimmerman
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  Posted by Philippe Gadeyne, San Diego, California | Nov 19, 2009

  A good sales person is not a sales person; rather s/he is a person who makes friends who then decide to do business with them. Let’s not be Mr. or Ms. Hardcore Sales Guy/Gal. Let’s be a friend to our clients and prospective clients.

  Hallelujah, I have applied that principle my whole career, business is about relationships. Glad to hear that principle from somebody else. For too long, we have been looked down on. Yet, a lot of companies still want the other kind, the one you experienced, the one they call the closer. I would rather lose a sale and win a customer for life. The real sales is developing that relationship the relationship that will deliver time and time again, now that's an art.
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  Posted by Vicki Garcia, San Jose, California | Nov 19, 2009

  I just had a very similar experience with someone I met at a networking event. It isn't the first time but I am finally catching on. I used to get excited when I would get the phone message saying they wanted to talk with me. Now I am just skeptical. How sad. Loved the article and I will take it to heart to make sure I am not using these techniques!
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  Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington | Nov 19, 2009

  I'm jumping into the conversation a tad late... I loved this article and have sent it out to a bunch of people and am excited about collaborating with Arden on a Biznik Business Essentials event on Thursday, January 14 in Seattle.

  @Silvia, you asked: "is Social Media Networking going to take away the "face to face" of relationship building? How can one REALLY build a RELATIONSHIP sitting at a computer and promising something or acting as someone who may not really exist?"

  This is a great question, and right here, you've got a great example of social networking used as a tool for building relationships and strengthening your reputation. While Biznik is a social networking site, where members may connect online, you're encouraged to meet locally face-to-face.

  After you've met someone, return to the online community to contact them again, learn more about them, read what they've written, see who you have in common.

  My biggest gripe about the large Chamber events was less about the "spraying & praying" (spray your cards to the room and pray one of them turns into a lead), and more about the fact that here was a room full of people and I didn't know ahead of time who was there, had no way of knowing who we may have in common, or if there were people there I wanted to talk to, and had no way to follow up with anyone after the event if I hadn't gotten their card.

  Biznik events alleviate all that!

  I know it doesn't work if there's no Biznik events happening near you. Maybe you'd be interested in hosting one of your own?

  Cofounder & CEO of Biznik
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  Posted by Ron Titus, Newport Beach, California | Nov 19, 2009

  Great article. I recently moved to a new area and have been exploring the Chamber and other community groups as a way to meet new people. So far my experience has been like yours. I think I will try to find people who seem to have the same approach and values and see how I can first help them with their business, and not necessarily as a "buyer". Maybe I can find them referrals. Likewise, I always think as much about who people know and how the long-term relationship will be mutually beneficial over time because we have learned to trust each other with referrrals.

  I have never understood the Mr. Hardcore Sales guy approach. They must have to bounce from one company to another.

  Anyway, all the insight and information in this post is great.
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 20, 2009

  This sales approach seems to have really struck a nerve with people. We all hate it don't we? I'm glad people are agreeing there is a better way.

  I teach a better way through networking and am cohosting a Biznik Essentials seminar with Lara Feltin called Networking with Ease, as she mentioned above. Please join us. We'll have lots of fun, learn some really great networking techniques and get to practice and network. Here's the link: https://biznik.com/events/networking-with-ease-0

  Hope to see those of you in the Seattle area there.
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  Posted by Judy Friend, Pepperell , Massachusetts | Nov 20, 2009

  You're so right Arden. It did hit a nerve with so many of us, and I think mostly because we all hate to be "sold" to ourselves. We've experienced that Mr./Mrs. Sales person and were so turned off.

  I have to say though that fortunately, I've also experienced those who get it and realize how important building a trusting relationship is to the sales process. I actually met someone at a networking event who remembered that I mentioned having our first grandson recently. She called and left me a message with a website she had seen for grandparenting and never mentioned anything about her own business. I couldn't wait to see her at the next networking event to thank her and get to know her more. This stuff truly does work. Thanks for such a great article.
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  Posted by Nancy LaMont, Marysville, Washington | Nov 21, 2009

  You had my undivided attention all the way. Very well done. I too dislike the Hardcore Sell, in fact, I think I hold back in my business out of fear of seeming like one of "them".
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  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Nov 21, 2009

  @Nancy, yes, I too am so afraid of being a pushy sales person that I tend to hold back too, but as @Judy F. said kindness goes such a long way in cultivating your business. People who help me are memorable to me and I want to do what I can to help them or do business with them. I love to help people too and I do it because I love helping, not to get business. That feels right and satisfying.

  I'm afraid I will never be comfortable with cold calls, even warm calls unless they are just to get to know someone and not to promote my business. In the end I think it will pay off.
• 

  Posted by Alexander Acker, Canal Street, New York | Nov 21, 2009

  Good article and refresher piece for all the sales folks out there that forget that the best form of selling is building a strong relationship and trust first. Sales naturally follows and you can avoid old-school cold calling and an icky sales process.
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  Posted by Paul Clegg, Frome, Somerset United Kingdom | Nov 23, 2009

  I think we are assuming that the person who called Arden was a professional salesperson. I doubt it.

  Even if someone calls themselves a salesperson, doesn't say they are. You can call yourself whatever you want but people judge people by what they do, not what they say they do.

  "Your actions thunder so loudly above your head I can hardly hear the words you speak." comes to mind.

  Wonderful article though.
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  Posted by Nancy LaMont, Marysville, Washington | Nov 23, 2009

  @Paul, I think your statement "Your actions thunder so loudly above your head I can hardly hear the words you speak." is the best I have heard yet.
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  Posted by Gregory Lewis, Seattle, Washington | Nov 23, 2009

  Thanks for the article. You may want to also mention the sales person who cannot follow simple instructions. Example: I say "please send me an advertsing rate card"; instead this guy tries to talk over me and overwhelm me with his sales rhetoric and buzz words. He didn't grasp that I've been in the fitness industry for a while and its only slightly less crooked than the music industry.

  The next day he started calling every 20 minutes, all day long. When I finally called back to decline his offer, he says to me "too expensive for you, huh?" I hung upon him right then and there.

  The fact that the City of Seattle sells your info when you purchase a business license really sets me off. Once I'm successful, I may sponsor an initiative against this practice or just sue them.
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  Posted by Silvia Pepperman, Scotts Valley, California | Nov 23, 2009

  Referrals are truly the best way to not only build a network but build business. Remember: 80% of your business comes from 20% of of your customers. Start with people who know you. It's OK to ask!
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  Posted by Shaun Lawrence, Irvine, California | Dec 05, 2009

  Funny stuff. I can't believe that guy. Does that really work for him?
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  Posted by Trevor Eisenman, Burbank, California | Dec 06, 2009

  Arden,

  I liked reading your article. So true. My natural tendency isn't to sell, but to educate and answer questions and help the potential customer understand the elements of their situation better. Although I guess I'm not what you'd call a "closer", at least I enjoy my own presence better! I'd rather walk away from a client having taught them something and helped them in some way, then ditch them at the first indication they aren't going to pay me money.

  I think some of my former bosses would call me a pushover, but long term I think it's better sales karma, especially for referrals.
• 

  Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Dec 09, 2009

  @Trevor, I agree. Better to make friends and potentially lose a sale than lose a sale AND a friend.

  Yes, referrals are the way to go.
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  Posted by Roberta Clark, Plano, Texas | Dec 13, 2009

  Arden, I totally agree with your assessment. I've never been good at cold calls or twisting arms. I have to stick with the Golden Rule and don unto others as I would have them do unto me.

  Thanks for the article.
• 

  Posted by Reg Charie, Courtenay, British Columbia Canada | Feb 17, 2010

  Arden, Arden, ARDEN! What are you saying? Where would the world be without these hardcore sales "professionals"?..

  It would be a kinder gentler place I imagine. Why do they do it? Is it because they don't know better? Or is it because it works?

  I have been my own boss since 1990. 20 years of my own efforts putting food on the table and keeping a roof over my head.

  I have done about every type of sales. I have gone door to door, and I have called people on the phone "giving" them the prize they won by entering their name and phone on a local store's contest.

  The hard sell works.

  When I first set up my internet based business I was out in the brick and mortar community attending meetings, joining associations, pushing where I could, promoting the flavor of the month. ...And making friends.

  Online I was doing the same, participating in forums, social networking, writing articles, doing press releases - joining - posting - linking ....and making friends.

  For 4 years I have led a series of networks on Ryze, http://www.ryze.com/go/RegDCP with my enforced moderation, to the extent that no blatant advertising is permitted. Anything else goes. Heated discussions are fine.

  Members are encouraged to have a signature file to display after their posts.

  This process has been good to me and has provided me with numerous clients. Along with SEO, Web Design contracts, I host over 100 Ryze member's websites.

  Unfortunately Ryze does not keep up with the times on a web 2 basis. Features are lacking and loading times are poor.

  The old core members are moving on to greener times, (as am I), and being replaced with what can only be called social networking spammers. (If anyone wants to take over my Ryze networks give me an IM.)

  As I wish to still help businesses grow and expand I needed another venue and here I am.

  If you can be helpful by freely sharing your knowledge without the need of financial compensation you will be pleasantly surprised at the amount of business this will bring in.

  If in this day and age of computers and online promotional methods one still sticks to the "in your face" type of advertising then they have not learned their lessons.

  How much time did the caller take to put this call together?

  First he had to research your name and number. Then he had to write his speech and phone you to leave a message. He had to monitor his answering machine to give you a call back. Then he had to present the hard sell.

  If he had spent the same amount of time registering on a couple of business portals, he would have been ahead of the game by a wide margin. The business portals will continue to interest people in his business proposals. The call to you is a dead end. A total waste of time.

  If you embrace technology there is no need for the hard sell. Remember, it is SOCIAL networking.