Are you one of those who has put business first? It happens to us all, unfortunately. We seem to be so conditioned to put others first, it sort of naturally extends to our businesses once we begin focusing on those.
We need to remember why we started our businesses in the first place - as a means to achieve a dream. None of us (I don't believe) created the things just to be in business. We saw a possibility; a dream or a lifestyle we wanted and we set up a means to achieve it. However, as time passed, our vision of that goal got a little fuzzier and further away as we got caught up into the day to day chores.
It's time to stop that.
It's time to return the "u" or the You to your B*siness.
We have a tendency to give birth to ideas and concepts and then commit to them 150%. Whether it's a child, a relationship, a business or even just an idea, our willingness to give of ourselves to have it grow and flourish is hard wired into us at a cellular level. Scientists are looking to identify the giving gene in women (just kidding, but you see my point here).
This is a gift; don't get me wrong. This is what makes us great, but sometimes we have to be careful and not give so much that we lose ourselves in the process. It is not being selfish to look out for ourselves in a business situation. This is probably one of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in all my years as a solopreneur or one person business owner. As a third-generation entrepreneur, I watched my parents give their all to their business until it used them up and there was no life left once the business was sold. I don't want this to happen to me or to you.
Your business needs to be relegated to the position of being a tool not a life. Life is what happens outside of an in spite of business - children are born and need attention, groceries need to be purchased and cooked, rent or mortgages need to be paid, etc. You might just want to revisit why you started it in the first place and see if that dream is still in place. Sometimes the dreams change, too, and that's perfectly fine. It's your dream, anyway.
So how do you get back in touch with that dream, especially if it has slipped beyond the horizon? Several ways:
1) Take 1 day off from everything business.
Pick one day on your calendar - a whole 24 hours. Let your customers know you'll be closed that day.
Now, on that day, get out of bed when you feel like it, not when you have to. Have a wonderfully decadent breakfast (or even go out for it!) Do something you normally would not do for yourself and just take the time to enjoy it. You have nothing else to do but pamper yourself.
Leave the business cards at home, sign off Twitter, ignore your business email, go sit somewhere and just be. Dream a little - ask yourself what you want out of your life. What is the lifestyle you're aiming for? How close are you? What are you grateful for? (We'll discuss gratitude journals in another post).
Once you have spent time dreambuilding, it's a lot easier to get back to work with a renewed focus, a different point of reference. You can then begin pursuing the dream in earnest using all the tools at your disposal.
2. Begin to keep business hours (if you don't already)
business hoursIf you haven't already started to do this, you need to. My husband and I learned the hard way that living a 24 hour business life doesn't do great things for a relationship or anything else for that matter. If you eat, sleep, breathe and work your business every moment, you're missing the point of having one.
3. Take time for yourself occasionally
Don't blow off social engagements that have nothing to do with your business. They provide balance. Take time to explore new things, take a workshop now and then just for fun. Go to the movies some evening.
4. Return to enjoying your life.
You may think you're really happy with your business occupying the forefront of your consciousness. It may be really fun, it may be the expression of your primary passion, but if it's burning the candle at both ends and you're considering cutting into the wax in the middle to get at the wick, you're in trouble and need to revisit things.
Learn more about the author, DeBorah Beatty.
Love this. Absolutely true to the core! As much as I love my business to bits, I made the mistake of letting it consume all other areas of my life, leaving me realizing suddenly I was 'burnt-out'.
Now, I do what you wrote here, and try to pace myself once in a while. :)
All very good points. I'm able to do everything except set consistent business hours. I don't know why. I generally work 5 1/2 days a week, but the actually work hours vary from day to day depending on the weather (I may adjust my work to fit in my outdoor fitness plans) and what is already scheduled.
Extremely well said. As a confirmed Work-aholic I sincerely enjoyed every minute of doing all those things, while I ignored grocery shopping, the house etc. Now having laid the Biz down, we are reluctant to pick it up again, as we KNOW the tendency to let the Biz EAT UP THE DAY is so overwhelming for us. UP with Balance!!!!
Thank you for the kind words. Solopreneur Overwhelm is an area that I love working in. So many of us feel so closed in without anyone to delegate to. Life/Work Balance is so very critical.
Great reminder. I just realized I'm working 3 hours past closing time!
The balance is absolutely essential. I believe in it so much that I picked the URL for my business to keep it in mind always: buildandbalance
I find that having young kids forces me to have balance in my life in that there is no way I'm going to neglect them when they're around. I make sure to take the family out to dinner once a week, do some kind of activity every weekend, and be there for all their special events (well, almost all).
I'm sure that if I wasn't a family man I'd do the same, but with friends instead. Life's just too enjoyable to work only.
By the way, in my workshops one exercise I ask owners to do is to write out your tombstone. Seems morbid, but it gets them to face what they want their legacy to be and it's usually not 'she worked hard'. Thanks for the stimulating article!
My tombstone states "She did not die with her potential intact."
Love this article! Great points. My business is still fairly new and I have already been doing what you wrote in the article.
When I used to teach, I was working everyday, including weekends. Teaching 5 days a week, staying after school to try and finish my work, grading papers, writing lesson plans, etc. I was burnt out after only 2yrs of full time teaching. Vowed to myself never to do that again.
Now with my new career and business, being my own boss, things are much better and more balanced. So far.
Being our own boss sounds like a great idea, until we find out our "new boss" is a slave-driver!
I think it can be way too easy (maybe especially for women?) to put the business, the clients, even learning about the business, and the busy-work related to the business - before ourselves! I find occasional retreats (2 or 3 days) essential to my mental health. Journaling and dreaming (as you mentioned) - also essential.
Thanks for a great article!
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