Just Say No

You’ve probably struggled with this dilemma.

The phone rings, and on the other end is a voice, inquiring about your skill set. You sell yourself to the potential client, and, lo and behold, they are all about giving you money to do what you do best. You’re psyched, but realize that this extra work is going to cause you to miss sleep, or your friend’s art opening, or your kid’s soccer game.

Small business people the world over have hit this wall. After starting up, bootstrapping your business, taking projects you weren’t really sure about, you’ve finally got enough work to pay the mortgage. And then, you’ve hit the next level. You’ve got more work than you can handle, but in your heart, that poverty-fear still has a strong foothold. You’re afraid that if you don’t say yes to that eighteenth (or fifth or seventieth, depending on your process) client, you’ll lose your way, and be on food stamps within the week.

Fact: you have to learn how to Just Say NO.

Step one: Ditch your poverty mentality. If you’ve run your business well to this point, you should have some savings, some credit, and some guaranteed income. If you don’t have those three things, you’re doing something wrong. I don’t mean “guaranteed” income, like a trust fund, or some assured dispersal from another source, I mean “guaranteed” like, you’ve got contracts that will take you comfortably through X months from now. In terms of savings, I recommend that you have in your business savings enough to get you through at least six months of your recurring expenses – taxes, health insurance, phone and internet, and whatever else you know that you’ll have to pay. If you have savings and some income, you are not poor. It’s a fact.

Some tips on ditching the poverty mentality:

•  Look at your life now compared to your life when you were in corporate America. (If you haven’t ever been in corporate America, count yourself among the rich already. It sucks your soul away there…) You have more free time, a better sense of self, and you’re working FOR yourself. That gives you a leg up on them any day of the week. Any time you think that you’re a paycheck away from poverty, think about how much WORSE you’d be if you had to rely on a large corporation for that paycheck.
  
  
• Treat yourself to one totally frivolous thing a week. A Mani-Pedi. A new bell for your bike. A big bouquet of flowers. Whatever floats your boat, fits your budget, and you TOTALLY don’t need. When you see your hot nails / bike bell / flowers, remember: you bought that for YOU with your hard earned money; and you have the right to spend it on silly stuff. And you can afford it. And if you can afford nails / bike bell / flowers, then surely you must be doing OK.

Step two: Define your ideal client type. Do you love working with dog owners in their fifties, but can’t stand to consult with people who ride mountain bikes? (unrealistic, I know, but bear with me…) Develop a profile that works for you, so when you get that call from the mountain-bike-rider who wants to hire you, you’re comfortable saying no. It’s also great if you can find others in your field who work with different types of clientele. That way, when Mr. Mountain Bike calls you, you can say something like “I don’t think my services would be a good fit for your needs, but I know someone who you should talk to…” Learn from your current clients. Look for words that they use to define themselves, and make an internal catalogue of them. That way, when future clients call, your ear is more attuned to those buzzwords.

Step three: practice saying NO. Before you dive right into saying no in your business, say no to at least two requests that are harmless and practice doing it gracefully. Try to always (as much as you can) have an alternative in mind. If you’re not good at thinking of contingency plans on your feet, then tell the requestor that you’ll check your schedule and get back to them.

• A friend wants you to feed their diabetic hamster? “Gosh, I don’t think that I can fit that into my schedule right now. What about your neighbor Barry?”
  
  
• A charity you work with needs someone to drive to Edmonds to pick up fliers. “You know, all my work is in the south end. Doesn’t Kelly work in the U-District? Maybe you could ask her.”

If you can remember that your time is valuable and that you are worth more when you’re sane, well rested, well fed, and a whole person, it becomes easier to say NO when you should.