<p>One of my clients from the executive leader coaching program was feeling bruised after receiving his annual performance appraisal. He had heard the message before, “learn to act with true confidence” but his boss added more detail this time, “You need to dial down the arrogance.” My client had heard this before, but he had a tendency to ignore the message or kill the messenger—until he heard from his boss how he was perceived by colleagues and staff: exaggerated assumption of superiority, rude, imperious, egotistic, disdainful, uncooperative, aloof, smug, etc.</p>
<p>This was a tough message for him to hear, because he had a belief that he was the smartest guy in the room and that gave him license to behave with impunity—because he was achieving targeted results. Yes, the job got done, but collateral damage resulted in very poor business relationships, which were starting to negatively affect the business results: missed deadlines, malicious compliance, weak staff performance and turnover. During our coaching sessions, he also mentioned that perhaps there was fallout from his “arrogant” behavior in his personal life as well.</p>
<p>Sometimes it takes a metaphorical slap upside the head to hear a tough message. For my client, it wasn’t until he realized that he could lose a promising career and the people he loves, that he became interested in how he could drop the arrogance and act with true confidence.</p>
<p>His journey began with taking a fearless Inventory of his strengths, talents, biases, assumptions, and uncovering his blind spots. His breakthrough came after much data collection, discussion and reflection, when he revealed that he acted arrogantly because he doubted his abilities and because he was afraid of getting it wrong. The irony of course is that once he realized that others could see his weaknesses, he no longer needed to let everyone know how smart he was, and he could let others could be smart too. What helped the process along was his capability to reframe some key mindsets: he could be strong by asking for help, admitting that he was wrong or that he didn’t have the answer. The next key learning was to embrace and appreciate what he learned about himself and be comfortable in his own skin. </p>
<p>He then embarked on a plan to transform how he interacted with people. The list below targeted the new behaviors he wanted to adopt, and ones to avoid. At first, my client had more setbacks than successes, but over time his business relationships and results improved. He also used a trusted advisor to observe and give him feedback so he could become self-correcting.</p>
<ul>
<li>Apologize with Heart vs. Fake apology</li>
<li>Inquire vs Advocate</li>
<li>Say "please and thank you" vs. Ignore simple courtesies</li>
<li>Curious vs. Defensive</li>
<li>People before things vs. Things before people</li>
<li>Ask vs. Tell</li>
<li>Employ lessons learned vs. Blame others</li>
<li>Transparency vs. Protectionism</li>
<li>Own the mistake vs. Ignore mistakes</li>
<li>Do the right thing vs. Need to be right</li>
</ul>
<p>As a leadership coach, I continually beat the drum that true confidence gives you the courage to be transparent about your strengths and shortcomings. While it may seem counter-intuitive, your transparency gives permission for others to be authentic as well. Sometimes the smartest person in the room, is the one who doesn’t have to act like it.</p>
2009-10-31T00:03:33Z
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leadership-coaching-case-study-in-developing-leadership-confidence
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2009-10-31T03:47:11Z
2009-10-31T10:48:33Z
The journey for leaders to feel and act with true confidence is an intensely personal one; however, it plays out on a very public stage. Learn how my client made changes that transformed his professional and personal life.
Leadership Coaching: Case Study in Developing Leadership Confidence
1
2009-10-31T10:48:34Z