<p>There are myths in our culture that suggest that the path to success has no room for dark times.&nbsp; According to these myths, all problems can be prevented if only we find and follow the right six steps (or 12 steps, or eight steps) to success. <br /><br />If only we would meditate more, take the right supplements, use the right affirmations, visualize white light, read the right planning guide, etc., things will be perfect.<br /><br />Well, as Dame Julian might say, things ARE perfect, it's just that sometimes perfection feels crummy. That presents a challenge that those of us who are self-employed feel keenly, especially if we think that perfection is supposed to feel and look great all the time.<br /><br />I suggest that success has more to do with the learners we are than with the experts we have become. Success formulas steal our birthright to lives and businesses that grow and evolve because of, not in spite of, our occasional failures. Success myths rob us of the right to LEARN, and if we cannot learn how can we possibly create thriving and authentic businesses?<br /><br />Enduring success thrives on the compost of our errors. In order to succeed as learners, we must make room in our hearts and minds for breakdowns as well as breakthroughs. We must understand that future successes are as likely to spring from the ashes of weakness as from the flames of brilliance.<br /><br />Even with this understanding, you may wonder how to be with discouragement and even desperation without being defined or destroyed by them. Here's what I know and continue to learn about that.<br /><br />Begin by noticing and recording your dark experiences without judging, fixing, or resisting them. One way to simply notice without interfering is to observe and name the physical sensations that show up at a difficult time. <br /><br />Breathe. There is no situation that is improved by holding your breath. Notice how effortlessly you are supported in the simple and involuntary act of breathing.<br /><br />Refrain from big decisions while taking small, necessary actions. Follow through as best you can with daily commitments and practices (exercise, rest, meditation). Insofar as possible (and it is usually more possible than we imagine) release yourself from the fantasy that you must make big decisions while you are in a dark state. The cost of delaying a big decision is almost inevitably less than the cost of acting from this place.<br /><br />Whatever your spiritual tradition, be faithful to those practices (prayer, meditation, contemplation) that connect you to a power greater than yourself. Isn't it nice to know that there is a bigger battery that you can plug into when your own seems depleted?<br /><br />Hold yourself and your concerns gently and compassionately, asking for grace to heal, to see more clearly, to forgive yourself and others, to release the past, to discern next steps.<br /><br />Most of all, be patient with yourself. Patience is the challenge and the key to being with and moving through dark times. Be as patient as you can be, and be compassionate with yourself for being only as patient as you are. Then you will harvest from hard times greater faith, deeper confidence, and a flexible strength that will enable you to transform your greatest difficulties into&nbsp; your richest learnings.<br /><br />In business as in life, dark times will not define us if we learn to learn from them and to rejoice in our capacity for this learning.</p> 2008-11-18T20:24:44Z -14.3891 346 2260 true 17 7670 learning-compassion-and-mistakes 1 2008-11-23T17:31:20Z 2008-11-23T17:31:20Z

In business as in life, dark times will not define us if we learn to learn from them and to rejoice in our capacity for this learning.

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