Do you dread going to business networking events? Is networking the hardest part of growing your business? Conscious communications expert Melissa Wadsworth offers savvy small talk tips and strategies that will convince you that small talk is no big deal.
Walk into any business networking event and look around. Within minutes you can clearly see a social dynamic being acted out that reflects two typical opinions about small talk:
The surprising fact is that regardless of which opinion you hold, small talk lends itself naturally to constant improvement. There is virtually no end to expanding the communication skills that will greatly heighten your satisfaction with the successful business connections you make.
When you network you're not trying to merely collect business cards, you're trying to create connections you can build on so that people will learn to know, like and trust you. Those are the connections that will grow your business. Even the most tongue-tied conversationalist can employ simple small talk principles that will enable them to approach new interactions with more ease and self-assurance and a greater sense of enjoyment. Here are a few tips to try at your next business networking event.
The first thing to remember is that small talk is more about the energy exchange than “the words” you speak. When you meet someone you really like, that you really connect with, the biggest impact they make is how you felt interacting with them -- often much more than the actual words spoken.
Use this knowledge to quiet the negative voice in your head that says: “I don’t know what to say,” or “I don’t have anything interesting to share.” Step out of your head. Smile and walk into the room with the intention of being the friendly face in the crowd. This will draw people to you and put them at ease. That’s half the battle. You can even put yourself into the hero position by looking around to see if someone else needs a friendly someone to talk to.
Secondly, use the obvious as conversation openers: who you are, why you’re at the event, what you do, how busy or not busy the event is, the weather, etc. Initially you just want to create a foundation for further conversation. Don’t over think this part of small talk. Use your awareness of what is happening in the room as information you can inject into a conversation.
Commit to holding up your end of conversation by being truly curious. You don’t know anything about most of the people you approach in a new networking situation. Use this to your advantage by putting the focus on the other person as you relax. Just be sure to give the other person room to ask you questions. No rapid fire questions in succession.
Additionally, active listening greatly contributes to a positive energetic between you and others. Lots of people don’t feel heard these days. If you’re a courteous, good listener, that makes each person feel sincerely heard, then you’ll make a good impression. Even people who are easy chatterers can learn to be better listeners. You can develop your empathy skills by drawing out shyer conversationalists.
At its best, conversation is a gift of give and take. You extend yourself to others and they respond in kind. It's important to remember this: no one walks away from a one-sided conversation feeling fulfilled or having effectively used the conversation opportunity.
We all have good energy we can simply and effectively share with others. A friendly presence, a commitment to getting engaged in conversation, and a compassionate ear; these are the key ingredients to effective small talk for business networking.
Learn more about the author, Melissa Wadsworth.
Hi, Melissa. Funny how the rules for having non-business conversations are exactly the same as personal conversations!
I find that more often my manner and a friendly smile is more effective than any words I say at the beginning of an interaction. Body language plays a huge part in a first impression.
Your writing style is just terrific - I can imagine us talking about this over coffee, which makes it more appealing to me than a standard business article. Thanks!
Melissa, this is great stuff. Having networked over the last 15 years, it's all about relationship and not just exchanging cards. I was impressed when I attended last month's Indie Business Night and most people I met spent a good 15-20 minutes talking with me. Now that's networking!
Hi Melissa, I really appreciate your tips and suggestions. I believe this article is very similar to your article that the Seattle Times printed back in December (which I certainly enjoyed!). Obviously there are a lot of us out there who can appreciate your tips on effective small talk. Thanks!
I find that the "be curious" tip works best for me. I am not by nature an extrovert and I find that when I listen a lot and am truly interested in finding out more about the person I meet, it takes the spotlight off me, it helps me know them on more of a personal level, and it helps me figure out how I can be supportive in a business sense. Thanks for the great article, Melissa.
Just what every networker needs. Thanks for the information.
I, like Judy, am not an extrovert. I concur that it makes me comfortable to start an exchange talking about someone else's business and/or interests. By the time I've calmed myself down, the exchange usually shifts to me and It becomes an easy conversation. I also find it easier to network if I pretend that these other individuals are friends of mine that I just don't know yet. It's a trick I play on myself that allows me to genuinely chit chat. Great article Melissa.
Melissa,
Thank you for a wonderful article. I love your encouragement to meet others with an open heart and a spirit of curiosity. My favorite part was the reminder to engage others with intentionality.
Elizabeth
Great article Melissa!
Learning the difference between 'skills' and 'gifts' has been really helpful for me. Skills can be learned, crafted and honed by all of us and you made the point beautifully.
And I agree with Betsy, your writing style is most charming and approachable!
Darlin
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