Strangers and Friends

One of the things that I love about business is connecting with high caliber people. It makes the art of business enjoyable and naturally inspires me towards higher levels of excellence. Being around excellent people helps me raise my game. When possible, I want to connect and do business with a person I like, respect and have a relationship with. I prefer to be relationship-focused rather than money-focused. In my experience, that is the natural order for good business to get done. As John Rockefeller stated, "A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship." Here are four things that will help you live in the world of connections rather than mere contacts:

1. Approach With Value: It is amazing how many meetings I have experienced with someone approaching me only thinking about how I can help them. Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign that says "Free Business Coaching" on my forehead. Always approach a person thinking through how you can be valuable to them. This will require you to research as much as you can about them. If you lack ideas, then the meeting is not worthwhile. You will be there violating good manners. Be sure you are able to articulate how you want to bring real value.
   
   
2. Connect With Respect: Think through the details of your connection. Treat the event as a special opportunity which communicates your respect for their time. What do you believe the person's time is worth? Find a restaurant that communicates that cost. Pick up the tab, think through the details, be a professional.
   
   
3. Listen Intently: Sharing only about yourself has nothing to do with making a connection with a stranger. Hearing their story and passion builds trust and understanding. Do this from the heart, not as a mere technique. If you don't care about learning about the person, do not waste their time. Connecting means being curious and intrigued by who the person is. Show sincerity and listen intently.
   
   
4. Propose Concrete Next Steps: There may be a myriad of ideas to pursue. What one next step makes sense to test the relationship and build further trust? Just like courtship, you do not ask someone to marry you after the first date. You seek a second date. What does that look like? Perhaps you can focus on one project to do together. Make it tangible and ensure someone has ownership of the task.

Connecting goes beyond transacting. It is building a relationship with a person for mutual benefit and pleasure. To truly be effective, you must have knowledge or answers to offer others that impact their lives or business directly. Constant growth will be the enabler for meaningful connections and ultimately growing your influence and business. Make a difference in people's lives. Think through how you have been approached in the past. Your guard is up when it has been awkward, imposing or without a feeling of trust. There are thousands of people that want to do business with you. The art of connecting lies with who you are and how you approach relationships.