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Exquisite Lara!
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Taking care of your most important relationships is most important
Within your network of 300 followers and 150 friends -- are maybe 30 who can VOUCH for you. WHO are they? WHERE are they? and HOW are you taking care of them? These guiding principles can help!
Written Nov 15, 2011, read 4338 times since then.
More important than your most valuable customer is the peer who knows, likes and trusts you. Because a peer who knows, likes and trusts you, is in the best position to send you a steady stream of new customers.
Within your network of 300 followers and 150 friends -- are maybe 30 peers who can VOUCH for you. Can you name three who can send you business this month?
- WHO are they?
- WHERE are they?
- HOW are you taking care of them? And...
- WHO do THEY KNOW who could be doing business with you too?
Follow these five guiding principles and you may find that your your peer-to-peer networking is the most important networking you do.
Know thyself
Before you engage in any kind of relationship you must know yourself first. Start with knowing what type of business you are in.
Is your primary motivation to earn a living, or impact change? Are you building a profit, or are you building equity in a company that you can sell? Have you created a job for yourself, or are you planning to achieve financial freedom? Did you invest your own money, or someone else's? Is this business going to satisfy you for the long haul, or are you going to start something new in a few years?
If you selected the former of each question, you fit the profile of an independent business owner. If you selected the later, "entrepreneur" is a better fit.
These are generalizations, and I'm the first to admit that I'm a bit of both. But it helps to know where you generally fall because understanding how others view these distinctions, will result in more successful business networking.
Business networking communities offer different benefits for different kinds of businesses. Marketing is about fishing where the fish are. Networking is about finding like-minded fishermen and sharing your tools. (I elaborate on know thyself in 5 Ways to Peel a Lemon)
Be human
Trust is not something you win, it's something you build and it must be taken care of. Therefore, the next principal is be human. The authors of The Trusted Advisor created the following "trust test": T = C x R x I / S. Where T stands for trust, C, R and I stand for credibility, reliability and intimacy. S is self orientation.
Credibility and reliability are fairly obvious: to what degree do the signals another person puts off, show you that they are who they claim to be, and are as good as they say they are. And to what degree do they do what they say they'll do. Intimacy is nothing more than emotional comfort. Are you comfortable with the other person -- could you tell them a secret?
Self-orientation is the negative ingredient in the equation. The higher the self-orientation, the less likely we are to trust someone. An example of LOW self-orientation is someone who recommends a competitor for a job because they believe the competitor to be a better fit. The opposite -- a high self-orientation -- can be seen in the smarmy sales guy who's always looking for a lead. These guys are leaches in a community, spamming and pushing, and are gone once they perceive the well is dry.
As your credibility and reliability increase, your self-orientation can increase too. Gain someone's trust and making it all about you, will be more welcome. This is not a new concept. This dance is part of being human.
Show up
The third principle for building (and taking care of) trust is showing up. Woody Allen said: "90% of success is showing up." I agree.
In 1990 I spent 4 weeks with my brother, a Peace Corps Volunteer, in the country of Mali in West Africa. The local language is Bambara and the greeting is "I ni che". What I like most about this greeting is the direct translation: "You and yourself". It's the equivalent of, "I see you." This is the very foundation of community and trust.
Long before MySpace, Classmates.com and Facebook, we lived in tribes, and community was distilled into a single phrase -- I see you.
In Biznik-land showing up means logging in and participating in conversations. (Like the conversation that follows this article!) It means showing up at events and doing your homework before the event -- discovering who else is going to be there. And it means following up after an event and touching base with those you met.
Social media tools like Facebook, Twitter and blogs are powerful marketing engines enabling you to engage in conversation with your customers. With the exception of the social media "mavens" and those with "klout", the majority of the population underutilizes the power of social media tools for peer-to-peer networking.
Networking, building relationships, and taking care of your referral partners takes time both online and off-line. Social media tools make the chore easier. (Read more about showing up & "i ni che".)
Be helpful
A great study out of Princeton by Susan Fiske can be summed up in by the two questions people ask themselves when they first meet you -- how warm is this person, and how competent are they.
Warmth judgements are derived from things like trustworthiness, friendliness, helpfulness and sociability. Competency judgements include intelligence, creativity and perceived ability.
Social perception reflects evolutionary pressures. So the root of these questions is what is the intention of the other person? Is this person friend or foe? And next, does this person possess the ability to act on those intentions. If they're a friend, can they help me? If they're a foe, do they possess the ability to hurt me?
If people are asking this, upon meeting you, how are you answering? How are you being helpful?
Feed the machine
The fifth and last guiding principle for taking care of your most valuable peer relationships is the backbone of all friendships. It's something we do intuitively in our personal relationships.
When you feed the personal-friendship-machine, your friends will move your couch, babysit your kid, and check on your house while you're out of town.
When you feed the professional-peer-relationship-machine, your peers will vouch for your business, spread the word, send you new clients, and introduce you to new opportunities.
In social media this is referred to as investing in your social capital -- creating a connection that can be leveraged later in a different way.
Here are 4 great ways to feed the machine:
• Make someone's client happy
This is turn could make your peer look good, and they'll happily send you more.
• Make someone's job easy
Meaning, make it easy to send you work. Practice good communication habits. Acknowledge when a client someone's sent your way has contacted you. Follow up later, and your peer know how the job went. If your grandmother taught you anything, I hope you learned the importance of thanking those who've done something nice for you.
• Show acknowledgement
Acknowledgement and good communication go hand in hand. You can acknowledge someone in person when you introduce them to another peer: "I'd like you to meet Sara. She sent me one my best new clients last month." You can also acknowledge them on Twitter: "So glad I can help @mattlawrence's client this week. They absolutely raved about his landscaping business."
• Reciprocate
Reciprocation may not take the form of a returned referral. Many times -- most times, in fact -- it's not possible to send clients to someone who's able to send them to you. Take the following example:
Sara Eizen, an interior designer in Seattle. Her company is called Nest. She sends a ton of work to an upholsterer and a cabinet maker. Over the years, neither has sent her any business in return. It's not intentional, the truth is, neither are in a position to send her clients. By the time someone's reupholstering their grandfather's old chair, or installing shelves in a closet, the designer and professional organizer have already been on the job.
How can these two give something back to Sara? By talking with Sara about who's "upstream" from her. Sara helps clients turn their house into a home. She can choose paint colors, place their furniture in a new location, and organize stuff that's gotten out of control. Someone who recently moved into a new home is one of ideal clienst! So one way the upholsterer and cabinet maker can reciprocate is to introduce Sara to a real estate agent. If Sara follows Tip #1 and makes the real estate agent's clients happy, one referral could turn into many.
And this comes full circle to the first guiding principle. Sara must know herself. If she doesn't have an answer to the proverbial, "How can I help you?" it's unlikely that the peers she sends business to, will be able to feed the machine and reciprocate.
Your peers who trust you are in the best position to send you new business. Who are they? Where are they? And most importantly -- how are you taking care of those relationships?
Nowhere else will you find a community of professional peers connecting online, in-person, globally and locally exclusively about business. Discover what happens when independent business people get together to converse, connect and collaborate.
Learn more about the author, Lara Feltin.
Comment on this article
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Posted by Sara Eizen, Seattle, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 this is full of incredible information - definitely need to read this again to soak it all in. thanks for sharing with all of us!
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Posted by Jane Morrison, Big Lake, Minnesota |Nov 17, 2011 Lara, excellent suggestions. My favorite is "know thyself". I think that is a struggle for so many business owners and if they are not clear, it's difficult to get referrals. Having a clear brand is an integral part of putting yourself out there and it helps others be your promoters.
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Posted by Christy Gibson, Bothell, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 This is a great article, Lara. Thank you for sharing your insight.
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Posted by Paola Devescovi, Rome, Rome Italy |Nov 17, 2011 This is a very helpful article, Lara. Thank you for sharing it.
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Posted by Stephen Monday, Monroe, Louisiana |Nov 17, 2011 Great article Lara!
It shows you understand fully how to Network effectively, give back, and build trust among your peers.
Care to join my Network?
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Posted by Lu Schildmeyer , Kent, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 Blessings to you Lara for sharing your insights and helping the Seattle BizNik community with the creation of BizNik.
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Posted by Renate Ruby, Seattle, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 The geek in me LOVES that you expressed this concept with an equation!
How seldom do life's truisms distil down to an equation? You should make t-shirts. I'd wear one.
Self Orientation is something we all struggle with as human beings. When I do something kind for someone, am I really doing it for them, or for the good feeling I get about myself? At the end of the day I think just keeping our eye on our own tendency toward self interest is all we can do - and we can give when we don't want to, which is when it counts the most.
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Posted by Sean Marshall, San Francisco, California |Nov 17, 2011 Great article Lara. Thank you.
I especially appreciate how you mention "Know Thyself". It's super important to know what you yourself are looking for before you can effectively ask and give in your networking.
Acknowledgement is another big one - by being grateful and showing it only opens to the doors to more.
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Posted by Lisa Samuel, Seattle, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 Terrific article Lara, with a lot of great ideas. I too will have to revisit it later to soak it all in!
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Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington |Nov 17, 2011 Thanks, guys. I'm glad this was well received. This article was based on a talk that lasted nearly an hour. There is a lot to digest, and even more to add! I've elaborated on know thyself here. I'll be elaborating on the other principles in subsequent articles.
Renata, glad you love the equation. My brain thinks like that too. Let me emphasize that I did not create the equation for the "trust test". David H. Maister, Charles H. Green and Robert M. Galford, authors of The Trusted Advisor (Free Press, 2001) came up with that. So -- I'm afraid no t-shirts will be sold in the Biznik store. :(
Sean, I agree. Gratitude and thanking someone is a huge one. So big, I think of it as a stand alone. I'll rethink this, perhaps it should be a sixth guiding principle.
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Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington |
Nov 17, 2011 I've gotten a few network requests as a result of this article. Thank you for your interest in connecting! I'm flattered. I'm protective of my network and choose to limit my connections to people I've met, worked with, or been friends with over time.
Being a member of my network implies that I know you and can recommend your business to others. For that reason, I rarely add folks I've had casual or fleeting interactions with.
Did you all know... The Biznik network does not come with the same restrictions as a Facebook or LinkedIn network. You can view the entirety of anyone's profile regardless if they're in your network or not. And every member may receive a direct message from every other member of Biznik regardless of their network relationship.
Hmmm... there's another article in here. How I differentiate my networks on Biznik, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Quora, Instagram, and others.
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Posted by Tshombe Brown, Portland, Oregon |Nov 17, 2011 Lara, this is actually quite a dense article. What I mean is that there is a lot of meat to digest in terms of how & when to apply each principle.
I almost think this may have been a multi-part series of articles. You have done this very nicely with the Know Yourself, which is relatively light here, but detailed in the article you cite.
I obviously need to read and re-read your points here, but I especially found useful the 'how to reciprocate' section when the nature of one's business makes it difficult or impossible.
The "upstream" example is perfect and a great way to intentionally nurture networked relationships.
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Posted by Tshombe Brown, Portland, Oregon |
Nov 17, 2011 Oh, yes! Absolutely write an article on the unique open-forum that is Biznik in comparison with other networks.
I love it because everything I do here I find comes up in the most (seemingly, at first glance) unlikely of searches!
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Posted by Tara Reed, Orlando, Florida |Nov 17, 2011 Great article! I'm always creating and maintaining connections, but it's just natural for me to do that.
I love people and I love talking and finding out what others are up to. But I never do it with the intention of creating something bigger or stronger.
I'm adding this to my interactions right now. I'm going to take a look at who my top colleagues are and see what I can create with them.
Tara
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Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington |
Nov 17, 2011 Fantastic, Tara. So glad this inspired you to take a closer look.
I was looking at my overflowing networks of friends, "friends" and followers; and looking at the overflowing networks of friends I trust -- the ones I go to for recommendations and introductions to others -- and I was scratching my head!
My friend Melody Biringer follows almost 3000 people on Twitter, and has over 1200 friends on Facebook. But which of those people are business connections and who does she vouch for? Look on LinkedIn? She's linked to over 800 connections!
I think it's time for a targeted networking platform that's focused like a laser-beam on those connections that are most important to your business. To discourage the user from using the platform as another dumping ground for collecting contacts you can broadcast to, it should be limited. Think a social networking CRM (customer relationship management sales tool) for Peers (PRM - PEER relationship managment) and toss in the ability to pass and track the referrals, recommendations & introductions you receive.
That's what's currently under development here in the Biznik lab. Stay tuned. We've almost got all the pieces worked out and "Biznik 3" will be at your fingertips shortly!
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Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington |
Nov 18, 2011 Just caught that today is the second annual National UnFriend Day. Good day to trim your friend-fat.
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Posted by Terry McComb, Cherryville, British Columbia Canada |Nov 18, 2011 Hi Lara, Your title just caught my attention I had to read it, and was blessed doing so! Great thoughts to ponder deeply!
The same principles also apply to our most important relationships with our spouse & children. I as a father can say my children are #2 in my life next to my wife. But when I analyze my actual time spent in real communication I find it just a "theory" not real life!
So I hope to change this by seeing you all next week Monday evening. We love you both! Love your Father-in-law Terry
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Posted by Thomas Cheah, Cyberjaya Malaysia |Nov 21, 2011 Good article Lara! Many things that you mentioned here resonates me. (I like the book The Trusted Advisor too!) Probably due to the nature of my business, I value long term customer relationship very much. I agree with you that trust is something that you need to build while managing your customer relationship. I used to think that Asian businesses (where I am coming from) are very relationship driven. Your article opened up my eyes where I realize business in anywhere is about relationship and trust.
I think most of us know the importance of customer relationship. It is just that we often forgot about it as our business grows, we tend to get busier, and then neglect some of our good customers who support our business during the early days. I think there are a lot of tools out there today that can help us in managing customer relationship. CRM is one of most common one. Recently, I had been using a free online services for customer relationship building called Coconect. (coconect.com) So far, I think they are quite good. It really helps me to stay in touch with my customers consistently. It's probably just me, but I really hate the awkward feeling of calling a customer for referrals or business after haven't stay in touch for a long time.
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Posted by Lara Feltin, Seattle, Washington |
Nov 21, 2011 Thank you for chiming in, Thomas. I agree that taking care of your customers is important, but I actually argue that the relationship with your business peers are more important that your most valuable customer.
CRM (customer relationship management) tools are fantastic for customer relationships. How do you take care of the relationships with peers who feed your referral-based revenue?
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Posted by Elvis Arias, Jersey City, New Jersey |Dec 05, 2011 Great article Lara, so many principles to digest!
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Article tags
- business networking
- business referrals
- independent business
- referral
- referral networking
- small business
- trust
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