Ten Tools for Lasting Success

“Whatever you think and ponder upon, that will become the inclination of the mind.” ~ Buddha

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."      ~ George Bernard Shaw

The essential tools for creating the life we want are our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions…and that’s not a secret—or the secret—kept from the rest of us. It doesn’t matter whether you believe these Ten Tools are ancient or modern, new or old, true or false; just be open to testing their principles. Be a scientist and a skeptic, experiment!

#1: Intention is energy. Successful people understand that singleness-of-purpose is a potent force. There's no room for wishy-washy, "Oh, I'm thinking about starting my own business," or "It would be really nice to write this year." These people put their tetherball pole in the cement and commit to the game.  Dream it up, write it down, act, and it will get done. Remember Goethe’s claim: "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it."

#2: Clarity is power. Be specific in your mission. But, before writing down specific goals, consider meditating for 10-minutes first. Empty your mind of “noisy” thinking by listening to the sound of your breath exhalations as you exhale, slowly, gently and steadily. Let your intuition lead. Then begin writing a few drafts of your ideal life (in no more than a few pages). One important ingredient to include is a date or specific outcome that you seek. But, know that if there's no date or specific outcome associated with the vision mentioned, you can never know if you’re making progress toward realizing it. As Valerie Young says, “A dream without a plan of action becomes a nightmare.” Successful people know that most success is guided by mental force, but take place in the physical realm. See also www.ChangingCourse.com

#3: Be firm with your limits. Boundaries, both literally and figuratively, when set, help you and your neighbors understand better what you will and will not do. A sign on your office that says, “NOT NOW” can help you and your loved ones/colleagues know that they need to avoid you so you can avoid distractions from your goals. When challenges to our goals arise, it's easy to fall into distraction by going online, taking a nap or eating the rest of that pint of ice cream, etc. Resist the lure to give up your focus. As Thomas Edison said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

#4: Seek passion, not profits.  Barbara Winter, author of Making A Living without A Job, says:  “Running my own business has been my favorite adventure (followed by getting lost in the back streets of Venice), one that brings daily joy and satisfaction.” When you’re doing what is fun to do with your time, you'll naturally communicate about your services with ease, since you believe in them so deeply. No need to be slick. In pursuing authentic expression in your work, you’ll be building on your unique competencies to create a life that generates both money and meaning. See also www.BarbaraWinter.com. And, if you build your life’s work around your true interests, that sincere joy will sustain you during the ebbs and flows in life’s river—and you will be inspiring to those feeling pounded by that dreaded tsunami word “recession.” For Jon Stewart’s take on whether we are even living in such times, see: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=164519&title=recessional-terms 

#5: Work to connect NOT to impress. As a lodestone attracts metals, like attracts like. Attracting or magnetizing right-relationships is not done the way the seduction magazines tell you. Rather, instead of pretending to be impressive or charming, know that you are most attractive to others when your humanness is showing.  Dough Englebart says, “A person’s ability to grow and succeed is largely related to their ability to suffer embarrassment.” Most of us cannot relate to your ideal, rather, we relate to your humanity. Remember, what we’re trying to hide will show up anyway—often sideways—through the cracks in our façade. 

#6: Listen, Listen, Listen and seek understanding through honest inquiry. Whether we are communicating with our lover, a CEO, our postal carrier, or children, people want to feel that what they have to say matters to you, that they are important and that you care about them. If you are actually in a conversation, it means you are invested in a two-way street.  When listening, please: (1) pay attention closely, even if you think you know what the person is going to say; (2) resist interrupting with the “better” word for what s/he “means” to say; (3) seek understanding in their terms and with their words; finally, (4) ask a sincere, open-ended, and honest question—a question you don’t know the answer to. Truman Capote must have been told this a lot because here is a very important quote of his: “A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue.”

#7: Expect the best, do your best. Henry Ford stated, "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right." Fear and self-doubt erode self-confidence, which is the currency of successful people. Expect great things from yourself and put forth the effort to build the foundation for your dreams that support your aims and values. As the Zen master says, “When chopping wood, chop wood, when carrying water, carry water.” Let yourself be purposeful and one-pointed and you’ll not only complete your work, the fruit of delivering on your word, your integrity, will grow.

#8: Practice gratitude and generosity at the same time. Give thanks for all that you have, for no matter what your situation, there is much for which to be grateful. Generosity shown to loved-ones, clients, partners, salespeople, and others strengthens these important ties. Gratitude also lightens your spirit during challenging times, and keeps setbacks in perspective. Going through a list of my top ten sites for gratitude allows me to celebrate every day and, sometimes, even brings me enough relaxation to help me fall asleep at night.

#9: Celebrate all along the way. There’s one thing I’ve heard from every achieving (but not yet successful) client who came to me totally burnt out: “Is this all there is?” What was missing, you might be wondering?  No matter how often the client had achieved a milestone, s/he never celebrated their progress, they just kept pushing the Sisyphean boulder up Mount Hades and suffered silently on their way back down until the next day—when they started in again on the thankless-achievement cycle. Keep a reward system alive for you and receive a part of it every day. In other words, make a list of 10 treats (these can even include food or TV—no shame there—but the other 8 treats need to be a little more creative). To bump up this energy, invite friends or colleagues to join in on the celebration. People who celebrate with others all along the way find lasting energy and stamina to keep moving forward in service of their dreams. As my local entrepreneurial hero, Molly Gordon, says, “Think of this as energy accounting. The energy you bring into your business needs to match the energy you put out. If it takes a monthly massage, a gym membership, and a generous book budget for you to be and do what you promise your customers, you need to bring in enough money or other resources to fund those things.”

#10: Consider giving it away (as a Mentor or Big Brother/Sister). As it says in the Gospel of Mark [4:25], "By your standard of measure it will be measured to you; and more will be given you besides. For whoever has, to him more shall be given; and whoever does not have, even what he has shall be taken away from him." We can take this parable as an invitation to honestly investigate what it is we are here to share and why it is of value. If what we have is our true gift, we will attract those who want not only authenticity but want what is mutually beneficial. If we have nothing to give, we will never have enough—lack is our consciousness and, as we’re discovering, our mindset shapes our future. Simply put, by giving our best, we get the best. Why not consider being a mentor to another in business, the same business in which you are succeeding or wanting to succeed. We never have to arrive before we can share what we know…trust me, I’m an educator—we always teach that which we need to learn ourselves! See also: http://www.bbbs.org

Take what you like about the Ten Essential Tools above and know that there is so much more to learn about creating true fulfillment.