The ABCs of Resilience

Are you a resilient leader? When everyone else is tense, can you create calm? When everyone else is rigid, how far can you stretch? When you’re dropped, how high can you bounce? If you can’t stretch, bend and bounce, you have low resilience and you’re not really doing your job. Because cheer leading is part of any leader’s job description.

Face it, every leader has played it wrong sometimes. I’m not talking about making a bad decision. I’m talking about how you deal with adversity. How about you? Haven’t you ever watched a deal go south or a project blow up and reacted by venting or blaming?

And then what happened? While you wallowed in anger or self-righteousness, did coworkers avoid you? Did the family dog cower? Did your spouse turn from your kiss?

It’s one of the fundamental laws of physics. We act out, others react negatively. 

Fortunately, there is a cure: You can cultivate resilience.

Resilience, whether for a company or an individual, is the sum of three qualities:

• Authenticity
  • Are you directed by your values?
  • Are you comfortable with who you are and where you are? Not to say that you’re complacent, but you accept this place right here as your starting point.
  • When things go wrong, do you start with what you could have done differently rather than pointing fingers?
• Balance
  • Can you balance a bias towards a positive outlook with an unflinching resolve to face the harsh realities?
  • Are you fundamentally patient, but relentless driven towards results?
  • Are you comfortable with ambiguity while continuously seeking clarity?
• Connectedness
  • Are you focused on serving others?
  • Are you open to being influenced by those you seek to influence?
  • Are you curious? All the time?

If you answered yes to all of these, congrats: a 9.0 earthquake might not shake you. And if it does, you’ll bounce back so bright they’ll have to wear shades.

Authenticity is about being firmly rooted in who you are. Authentic leaders don't run from the reality in which they find themselves, but rather accept it as the only possible starting point for change. They are realists, yet fully committed to their values and goals. They take full responsibility for disappointing outcomes, but are quick to credit success to others. 

Balance is about being comfortable with a world made of both black and white. Balanced leaders do not tolerate wishy washy gray and embrace the co-existence of opposites. They firmly resist compromises that dumb opposing ideas down to the lowest common denominator; instead, they use the best of all available ideas to ladder up to the richest possible solution. They know that true innovation, insight, and breakthrough take continuous effort but also that they take time, and that it is counterproductive to force solutions prematurely.

Connectedness is about understanding the ecosystems to which you belong. Connected leaders give and take with equal ease. They focus on adding value, not forcing their agenda. They know that they achieved their position by generally being right, but recognize that in any given situation they might be wrong. They are relentless about finding the truth and sharing it.

Authenticity, Balance, and Connectedness, the ABCs of resilience, can be cultivated. While they may seem more about you than about your function as a professional, you cannot function long without a high level of resilience. Sooner or later you will fall; sustaining success in life is all about how well you bounce.

Even the best leaders can benefit from having a wise advisor to help them cultivate resilience.

Please share your favorite techniques for bouncing back. What should leaders do when facing hard times?