Lynda McDaniel

Director
Walnut Creek, California

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The Doom and Gloom of "To Whom It May Concern:" Forget old-fashioned cover letters

Tips on writing cover letters that get you noticed.

Written May 21, 2008, read 2429 times since then.

Applying for a job you really want? Don’t nix your chances by writing a boring cover letter. For starters:

Lose the “To Whom It May Concern.” That went the way of the 20th century.
Forget the “This letter is in regards to your ad…” People reading these letters are already bored with the reams of pablum they have to read. Do you really want to make them comatose?

I don’t know why people present themselves this way. It’s like wearing a dreary old brown suit to an interview (if you ever get that far). Yet, every day I see how people resist being creative when introducing themselves to a new company.

Why?

I think fear is the biggest culprit. It keeps people from writing anything well. They remember the harsh words of some grumpy old grammar teacher in the 9th grade, or they hear irrational bosses and even parents droning in their heads. Tell them to get lost! You’re good, and you’re not going to take it anymore.

Cover Letter 101

So how do you write a good cover letter?

1. Show, don’t tell. Share a good story about what you’ve accomplished. Stories show why you’re the best candidate. They also show you’ve got a head on your shoulders.

2. Use good grammar. In our electronic world we rarely meet face to face, so the way we write conjures an image of us. It’s like when we picture how someone looks when we hear them on the radio or the telephone. Don’t let your cover letter conjure the image of an unkempt slob. Give your readers the impression of a bright person who’s on the ball.

3. Be uncommon. Not weird—interesting. Not reckless—creative. A good cover letter does much more than tell about you. It shows that you can think. Writing is the portal to your deeper thoughts. Text messaging? That’s just top-of-the-mind stuff.

Sometimes I see fear in clients’ eyes when they hear this. They’re pleading with me, begging for mercy.

“You expect me to write something different?” they ask, gulping.

“Well, are you different from the other candidates? Are you the best choice?” I ask.

“Yes,” they answer with great confidence.

“OK, then show it.”

Sadly, most do not. That’s a real shame, because resume reviewers enjoy reading something different. Jennifer Dupper, a recruiter for Parker Staffing Services in Seattle, Washington, says she takes special notice of candidates with good writing skills.

“A well-written cover letter makes such a positive difference!” she says. “When I’m screening an inbox full of applications and come across an interesting cover letter, I’m not only excited to view the resume, but more likely to contact the candidate—even when their experience may be lacking some of the necessary requirements of the position they are seeking.”

Cover yourself

Check out the [Before] and [After] examples below. They’re just to help get you started. Think of a personal story that shows why you’re the best, then tell about it in relation to the job specifications.

You can do it. You can write a great cover letter. And your results may well be the opposite of that inflated curmudgeon on “The Apprentice.”

Instead, you’ll hear, “You’re hired!”

[BEFORE]

Please accept this letter and accompanying resume in application for the XYZ Director position advertised in the Boise Bulletin. As the current executive director of ABC Imports in Washington and Oregon, I have the skills required, and I’d like to remain in this region.

In my current role, I have utilized the essential functions found in the job descriptions. This includes …. [z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z]

[AFTER]

I believe the best way to convey my qualifications for the XYZ Director position is through a real-life example from my tenure as executive director of ABC Imports. Last April, I was having lunch with a manager of one of our divisions. He’s good at his job, and we’ve enjoyed working together. So, I was surprised when he suddenly grew angry. He told me he resented the way headquarters was telling him how to run his division.

I took a deep breath and reminded myself this man was frustrated, maybe even a little scared. He needed our help, even though he couldn’t admit it to himself.

New directions

Today, that situation has changed dramatically, and this manager is back on track. I drew on a number of resources and relationship tools to turn this volatile situation around. For example, I encouraged other division managers to call him and offer words of encouragement. I took him to dinner and listened empathetically. When he requested more information, I responded promptly. I also continue to check periodically to see how things are going…. [Highlights of experience follow.]

Learn more about the author, Lynda McDaniel.

Posted by Rick Sader, Seattle, Washington | May 25, 2008

I agree with your points. I think implicit in your article is a lack of a prior personal connection, either via the phone or in person. I feel much better & more confident writing a cover letter to someone with whom I've just gotten off the phone. Gives me the chance to reiterate a point I've emphasized during our conversation. I also make it a point to make the letter 'feel' conversational.
Rick
Posted by Judith Auslander, Beaverton, Oregon | Jun 02, 2008

I like what you had to say - but I am not sure that a long winded story is what employers want to read either. I could easily see using a story of my coaching and how it helped a client or how teamwork made an office work better. But don't managers/recruiters also want to know about my skills for the job I am applying for? Maybe I am old fashioned - or maybe the purpose of cover letters have changed dramatically over the past few years. The information you are writing is way different than I think they teach in schools and job placement organizations. Judith
Posted by Lynda McDaniel, Walnut Creek, California | Jun 02, 2008
Hi Judith,

A few thoughts:
1. Stories don't have to be long-winded. Just a few sentences can make a huge difference. Start with a brief story (one that shows how you handled a situation that is relevant to the position you're applying for). Then offer a brief summary of your skills.
2. The place for skills information is the resume.
3. Cover letters are about what you can do at the new job, and a story is a great way to show that. Resumes are about what you've done in the past.
If this style isn't right for you, go with the one that is. But sometimes it's important to be uncommon.

Good luck with your job search, Lynda
Posted by Amy Adler, Salt Lake City, Utah | Mar 03, 2010

I think I fall somewhere in between Judith and Lynda on the "story" story. I write these kinds of letters for a living, and I get bored by the "please accept this letter in application for..." style, so I never use it. So I do think that there is a place for a catchy intro that speaks to the industry or the needs of the hiring manager.

I'd agree that "uncommon" is important, but if you're unsure, ask someone else to read it--don't be married to your language if it's not working for you.

Thanks for a concise approach to cover letter writing, Lynda.
Posted by Laura Crest, Bellingham, Washington | Mar 04, 2010

Like Amy, I write (resumes and) cover letters for a living, and have done so for 25 years' now. During my tenure, I have witnessed the evolution of the cover letter from the stuffy "to whom" (which I never used, actually, much to my clients' disbelief) to the more intimate, conversational-toned type of introduction.

I think it is important to keep the target audience in mind when composing your letter, as well as the position for which you're applying, e.g., is it an executive-level position with a conservative firm, or an entry-level position within a relaxed corporate culture? Or vice-versa? Etc.?

Regardless of the tone you take, it is always, always a good idea to have a second set of eyes review your letter before you hit the "submit" button irrevocably. Smart grammar, punctuation, and a sense of writing style are essential to every letter: it is The First Impression, and usually your only chance to pique enough interest in the reader to then actually read your resume (and then, hopefully, give you a call). So yes, I would recommend addressing the specific skills you bring to the position.

I think what Lynda was saying is that you can be creative and engaging in presenting your skill set by relating a specific example. It fleshes out your skeletal "qualifications" in such a way that makes you an interesting and lively person, rather than a droning candidate checking off a list of skills.

The well-considered, professionally written cover letter can and does make or break your chances of getting the call for an interview, regardless of how bright and shiny your resume may be.

I agree with you, Lynda, wholeheartedly, and as a colleague, I thank you for your article!
Posted by Lynda McDaniel, Walnut Creek, California | Mar 04, 2010

Thanks, Laura and Amy. I appreciate your thoughts on this subject. It sounds as though we're of like mind about helping folks loosen up and write like the interesting people they are. Or get a seasoned professional to help them!
Posted by Laura Crest, Bellingham, Washington | Mar 04, 2010

Absolutely, Lynda: Get a seasoned professional to help them :)
Posted by Amy Adler, Salt Lake City, Utah | Mar 04, 2010

Hear, hear, Laura!