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Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter.
Seattle, Washington
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The King's Coaching: Getting to the Root of the Problem

In The King's Speech, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) helps a Prince en route to the throne (Colin Firth) with a royal breakthrough.
Written Feb 16, 2011, read 3284 times since then.
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In The King’s Speech, Colin Firth masterfully plays a man who would be king, if only he could speak. Prince Albert, the Duke of York, is affected by a debilitating stutter that turns his first speech into a humiliating flop. While Prince Albert almost avoids kingship, speaking publicly becomes non-negotiable when his older brother suddenly forsakes the throne for a twice-divorced American woman.

Fortunately, the future King had a coach. The unconventional Lionel Logue (Geoffrey Rush) had been recommended to his wife (Helena Bonham Carter), who was assured by Logue that he could help her husband with his stuttering. Help him he did, but not without resistance.

Logue made demands. He insisted on daily coaching. He would work only in his own office rather than the palace. He used unorthodox methods. He demanded to be treated as an equal, even calling Prince Albert by his nickname “Bertie,” which initially horrified the Duke. (He preferred “Your Highness.”)

But when Logue asked Prince Albert to reveal the emotional roots of the stuttering, inquiring the age it had started and the circumstances at the time, the royals drew the line. The Duke of York was not going to discuss personal matters! He was coming for speech therapy, not a psychological examination!

The royal couple claimed the issue was his tongue, not his childhood. The stuttering was labeled merely a “mechanical problem,” and Logue was instructed to provide strictly “mechanical solutions”. (Of course, the Prince’s inability to speak had deeply emotional roots, as the film reveals in time….)

We are no different. Our obstacles are rarely “just the mechanics,” and yet, we are distracted by trying to solve the easier-to-spot surface issues.

If only we had a different website, a new logo, another degree, or a new sales script. THEN we would succeed! We address the surface issues and not the deeper reasons WHY these excuses have lingered so long. We seek a band-aid when a healing is needed. By neglecting to recognize the underlying problems, the partial solutions only camouflage our core issues.

We focus on tactics, software, and the letters after our names. Perhaps we change products, companies, even industries, failing to recognize that the only thing holding us back is… US. The real obstacles lay at the root level:

  • Our disempowering beliefs about money passed down from our parents .
  • Our lack of confidence picked up in the school subjects we could not succeed in.
  • The misalignment between the success we want and the success we fear.
  • Our stories about how we must work hard at things we don’t enjoy to earn money.
  • A low sense of self-worth that makes it difficult to ask for what we want and receive it.
  • Our lack of trust in Divine assistance and a supportive Universe.
  • The judgments we make about wealthy people that lead us to financial self-sabotage. (And so on....)

Our deepest fears rise to the surface and reveal themselves through our actions:  

  • Our lack of discipline.
  • Habitual under-charging.
  • The way we procrastinate with “creative avoidance.”
  • Our unwillingness to leave our comfort zones.
  • The excuses we make.
  • Patterns of self-sabotage.
  • The way we insist on doing everything ourselves.
  • Our refusal to invest in ourselves.
  • Resistance to the coaching and mentorship needed for success.

Embarrassing true confession: I spent nearly a year-and-a-half in business without a website. I had several failed attempts and a myriad of excuses to explain this fact. Was it a technical problem? Well, I didn’t have the knowledge to build a website, but there are 100 solutions to that problem. Was it a financial problem? No, I had hired a developer for a full year, but failed to write the text for the site he designed (and I write prolifically).

So what was the problem? In a group coaching/mastermind group, the truth finally came out.

On a not-quite-conscious level, I wasn’t ready to “be seen” yet. Although I had designed and facilitated workshops for years and obtained coaching and training certifications, I was still lacking the confidence to coach people one-on-one for the pay I wanted.

I was… hiding. Hiding by not even existing online. Avoiding networking. Isolating myself in a world where no one could hire me anyway, because they couldn’t find me.

Ready to bust through the real obstacle upon that revelation, I put up two imperfect yet serviceable websites. I did it myself, for less than $30, in one week’s time. The lack of technology know-how or a slim design budget had been merely surface symptoms of the real problem: my own reluctance to be seen.

The following month, I started promoting myself. I set up Biznik Facebook, and LinkedIn profiles, and participated in the conversations. I joined a local networking group. I began writing blog posts and articles (that still bring me clients to this day). In one month, I made more progress on my business than I had made in the previous 18 months.

I didn’t need a new strategy, tactic, or tool, I just needed to get out of my own way.

As Psycho-Cybernetics author Maxwell Maltz says, we are not likely to out-perform our self-image. For the tree to change, we’ve got to start at the roots. We must transform our disempowering thoughts and feelings; challenge the limiting beliefs we’ve learned and inherited. It’s time to expand the identity we’ve adopted that falls short of our potential greatness.

If kings need help now and then, surely mere mortals like us can benefit from a willingness to dig beneath the surface and a skilled advocate to assist. The King’s Speech offers us two worthy role models – the willing Prince and his committed coach. (The supportive wife who sought out Logue also deserves honorable mention.)

Long live your own breakthroughs; may you transform from your "roots" and be royally successful!

Learn more about the author, Kate Phillips.

Comment on this article

  • Butler to the Stars 
Los Angeles, California 
Rags M.
    Posted by Rags M., Los Angeles, California | Feb 16, 2011

    Great article, Kate!

    I too was struck by the The King's Speech this weekend and how the King had so many enablers in his orbit. His wife, however, was both confidante AND recruiter and in a way that we often dismiss when time has a way of forgetting those who were really there at the critical times. So often in our personal narratives we celebrate a hurdle overcome, and forget that with a push here and a nudge there the events needed to get us to that place might never have happened.

    I loved what you wrote, and agree whole heartedly with everything. My only addition would be the need we all have for trusted members of our inner circle to truly have our own interests at heart. Admittedly, I cried when the King called Lionel a traitor and refused to see him for quite a while.

  • singer-songwriter; solo guitarist; Voice-Over artist 
Seattle, Washington 
Bryan Rust
    Posted by Bryan Rust, Seattle, Washington | Feb 16, 2011

    Wonderful take on a nearly perfect film. The example from your own life resonated strongly with me--we can come up with technical reasons why we aren't moving forward, but often it's a personal obstacle that we have to move beyond. To quote Shakespeare, "The fault...is not in our stars, but in ourselves....".

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 16, 2011

    Rags, you are right on. I actually had originally written the article to say that the movie offers us THREE role models (including the wife) but deleted it, deciding I hadn't said enough about her and didn't want to make the article longer. (I've now given her an "honorable mention.")

    Yes, the film has MUCH to say about trust... that could be a whole 'nuther article. I'm also interested in Lionel's lack of credentials yet superior ability to help, and how he did not let that stop him (even when the King tries to use it as an excuse).

    And only real men admit they cry at movies... ;-)

    Thanks Bryan, great quote! Didn't know that one.

  • Therapist 
Seattle, Washington 
Karolyn McKinley
    Posted by Karolyn McKinley, Seattle, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Brilliant! Really appreciate how well you articulated that our failure to succeed and thrive have deeper roots than most realize, and that we have to resolve those core issues first . i also applaud you for your "true confession" piece. It inspired me to get cracking on putting up my website - finally!! :)

  • Wellness Coaching; Eating Disorders Specialist; Stress Reduction Educator and Workshop Presenter; Author 
Steilacoom, Washington 
Lorrie Jones
    Posted by Lorrie Jones, Steilacoom, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Dear kate, Having just seen The King's Speech, I am twice inspired: one, by the movie itself and two by your article. Thank you for what you wrote. I am a coach as well and the day following the movie, I interacted with my clients in a bolder, more confident manner - underlined with caring and compassion. They responded very favorably! And now, after reading your article as well as being on a trip visiting an elderly parent, I am aware of the many possible childhood experiences that may have led me to a belief that I "need to know more" - thus 7 day work weeks and a lack of clarity from the fatigue of it all. How healing it will be for me to accept my own creativity and competence without excessive "work". I am now looking forward to the weeks ahead knowing I will benefit from my new attitude and my clients will as well. Again, thank you for such an inspiring article.

  • Carpet Cleaner 
Mountlake Terrace, Washington 
Steve Borcherdt
    Posted by Steve Borcherdt, Mountlake Terrace, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Dear Kate,

     Your article moved me.
    

    Sincerely, Steve

    10

  • Financial Consultant 
Seattle, Washington 
David Giannini
    Posted by David Giannini, Seattle, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Terrific article Kate, really spoke to me and I still have not seen the movie.

    Thank you for taking the time to write such an inspiring article.

  • Printing 
Seattle, Washington 
Kathryn Hack
    Posted by Kathryn Hack, Seattle, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Kate, having just made your acquaintance it was hard to imagine YOU hiding from anything! Thanks for sharing a vulnerable part of yourself and inspiring us to "feel the fear and do it anyway." You are a testament to your teaching.

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 17, 2011

    Karolyn and Lorrie, so glad the article made a difference for you! Thanks for sharing.

    David, I highly recommend the movie. (I'd like to see it again myself.)

    Steve and Kathryn, thank-you!

  • Interior Designer & Coach 
Kirkland, Washington 
Nancy Meadows
    Posted by Nancy Meadows, Kirkland, Washington | Feb 18, 2011

    MINDSET. It seems to be at the root of how we react to all that goes on around us. Loved your article, Kate. I also loved "The Kings Speech."

  • Career Transitions, Résumé  and Online Profile Strategist. Author of RÉSUMÉS THAT RESUME CAREERS  
Marysville, Washington 
Don Burrows
    Posted by Don Burrows, Marysville, Washington | Feb 18, 2011

    Hello, Kate

    As I read your articulate and powerfully-written article, I felt myself becoming more and more immersed in your words and your message.

    You wrote: “On a not-quite-conscious level, I wasn’t ready to “be seen” yet. Although I had designed and facilitated workshops for years … I was still lacking the confidence to coach people one-on-one for the pay I wanted…. I was… hiding.”

    When I read that, I went immediately to my Myers-Briggs type (INTJ). I used to have an INTJ t-shirt that stated something like, “I can tell you 100 ways to improve this t-shirt. Just ask me.” Of course, no one ever did, and more to the point, I never told. I too was hiding.

    Well, that was then and this is now.

    As I read your words, I felt like you had been sitting on my shoulder for the last few months.

    After listening to the President’s call for increased volunteerism, I created and conducted a series of successful free workshops to teach people how to create résumés that STAND OUT so interviewers call them. And that in turn led to writing and publishing Résumés That Resume Careers: 3 Steps to Getting Back to Work Using Functional Résumés.

    Thanks to a boot in the butt from the two women in my mastermind group, I came out of hiding, put up www.ResumesThatResumeCareers.com, got active in Biznik and blogging through Deborah Drake and her blogging circle (http://biznik.com/events/a-writers-support-group-for-reticent-bloggers-aka-writers-31).

    We have teamed up to offer teleseminars, in-person presentations and tele-classes for job seekers and solopreneurs to help them master the Inner Game of finding work or new business by getting very clear on their representative professional accomplishments as well as the special skills and abilities they used to achieve them. The basis for all of that is what we call a Professional Profile©.

    The wisdom in your article is both timeless and ageless.

    I think what you wrote embodies the quote for Thursday, February 17th 2011 in my Franklin Quest planner: “Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.

  • Principal 
New York, New York 
Michelle Gorenstein
    Posted by Michelle Gorenstein, New York, New York | Feb 18, 2011

    Hi Kate, I, too, was deeply moved by the film.

    As I was reading your post, I could her myself saying "Yes!, Yes! That's so true!" I find it fascinating how we can be our own worst enemy.

    I appreciate your honesty in sharing your own discovery, and it's given me a lot to think about as I dig into my own situation and try to see where I am keeping myself from succeeding. Thank you for the inspiration to "dig" a little deeper and see what's really going on.

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 18, 2011

    You got it, Nancy, our Mindset determines our world.

    Thanks for taking the time to reach and comment so thoroughly, Don! I love the Myers-Briggs, it changed my life by giving me an understanding of myself and others and why we are how we are.

    You're welcome, Michelle, I'm glad the article provoked some "digging."

  • Clinical Hypnotherapist / Business Coach for Healers 
Bellevue, Washington 
Marie Maguire
    Posted by Marie Maguire, Bellevue, Washington | Feb 21, 2011

    Kate, An excellent and inspiring article. I look forward to attending another of your events. Thanks for becoming visible!!

  • Peace Contributor 
Redmond, Washington 
J Trinh
    Posted by J Trinh, Redmond, Washington | Feb 21, 2011

    Thank you, Kate.

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 22, 2011

    You're welcome!

  • Life Coach 
Seattle, Washington 
Judy Stoffel Loewen
    Posted by Judy Stoffel Loewen, Seattle, Washington | Feb 22, 2011

    Yes, yes, yes and yes! Were you thinking of me when you wrote the obstacles? I am working on them - with coaching - and I am getting better. And just getting to the bottom of the disempowerng beliefs helps a lot.

    I haven't seen the movie yet, but plan on it!

    Great article - thanks for writing and sharing it!

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 23, 2011

    Yes, Judy, I've been secretly spying on you! (or maybe we just share some things in common?)

  • Tai Chi & QiGong Instructor 
Seattle, Washington 
Viola Brumbaugh
    Posted by Viola Brumbaugh, Seattle, Washington | Feb 23, 2011

    Thanks for the Great Article Kate! I am looking forward to your workshop this afternoon and gaining even more insight.

    and, I loved the movie!

    Wise Orchid Martial Arts - Taijiquan, QiGong & Kung Fu

  • Small Business Strategist and Marketing Consultant 
Eastport, New York 
Beth Schecher
    Posted by Beth Schecher, Eastport, New York | Feb 25, 2011

    Great article. By sharing your personal story you have confirmed for me that "I am not the only one!" I think that it is pretty common to not want to be seen. When we do get the confidence to be seen, it seems that we can then explode out into the world. Everything just starts to fall in place.

    Thank you for sharing this great insight and vulnerability with us. Beth

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 26, 2011

    Thank-you Viola (so nice to meet you!) and Beth. And while confidence is wonderful, it may be more important to be able to act with or without it. At the time, I also ended up volunteering as a coach with Landmark Education as well as putting myself out there in other ways. It was a great experience, and... my confidence grew!

  • Communication Coaching, Classes & Consulting 
Portland, Oregon 
Karen Mathieson
    Posted by Karen Mathieson, Portland, Oregon | Feb 27, 2011

    Kate, your article rang as many chimes with me as there are bells in Westminster Abbey. I just loved "The King's Speech," and also identified strongly with both lead characters. Your mention of Matthew Maltz was a reminder of how "Psycho-Cybernetics" helped to transform my moody teenage self into a considerably less-moody young adult.

    Thank you also for your transparency about your business process and for the insights about what was blocking you. We need to hear these stories, among ourselves, and to learn from them. In this article, you have allowed yourself to be visible in a big way. Congratulations!

    ~Karen

  • Life, Prosperity, and Small Business Coach. Author. Speaker. Trainer. Singer/Songwriter. 
Seattle, Washington 
Kate Phillips
    Posted by Kate Phillips, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2011

    Thank-you, Karen! It always feels like a risk to talk about past failures and lessons, but you're right, that truly is how we can best teach and learn.

    Now, let's see if I can do anything about the spam...

  • Professional Training & Coaching 
Seattle, Washington 
Michael Hartzell
    Posted by Michael Hartzell, Seattle, Washington | Apr 26, 2011

    Kate,

    Your unique insight, depth and willingness to share even the most vulnerable history as a testimonial has your article standing out as a 100. Unfortunately, the scoring only goes to 10.

    We are watching The King's Speech as I type.

    "As Psycho-Cybernetics author Maxwell Maltz says, we are not likely to out-perform our self-image." Good words to share. Interesting reading.

    Thank you for making a great point about both roles being willing.

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