The Lost Art of “Thank You"

I have been watching this for some time and as long as I have been in business and have listened to people complain about not having enough business and asking each other how can we get more referrals.

Written Nov 18, 2010, read 2638 times since then.

With Thanksgiving around the corner I couldn’t resist my next subject. I have been watching this for some time and as long as I have been in business and have listened to people complain about not having enough business and asking each other how can I get more referrals. I’ve got an easy answer. Say “Thank You”. That’s it! I could stop there but I’m not going to. You know me. I love to run my mouth. Now, I’m not talk about that automated “auto-responder” crap that we put on every order that someone buys from their on-line store. Or that out-of-office response we add before we go on vacation either that you’ve somehow morphed to say “Thanks” I got your email. I’m talk about an old-school “Thank You card”. You remember those. Yeah, or better yet, make a 1 minute phone call and say “Thank You”.

My Grandmother always said you attract more flies with honey. So for those of you who can’t or refuse to pick up the phone in this new age of removed connectivity, go to one of your nearest retailers or office supply stores and buy a box of nice looking “Thank You" cards. Then grab a sheet of paper and write down a list of people who have down something nice for you that has furthered your business, made you feel good or just made you smile and send them a "Thank You". The list may be short or long. Depends on how many people you know or how many you remember that have helped you. I know this sounds so easy and simple yet how many of us do it. Don't answer that. It's embarrassing. I know, I've been in that line before.

The thing about saying “Thank You” is it connects you with someone around an event or subject. Which can be a bonding thing as well as letting the recipient know that you appreciate them thinking of you enough to refer a trusted friend, associate, or client to you. And if you have the time and the budget to throw in a nicety like a gift card to their favorite haunt. Believe me, they'll love you for that because it means that you really see them, feel them and hear them.

Now how often should you send thank you cards to people who refer business to you. Read my lips…FOREVER! Need I say more. The moment you stop saying thank you. It will only be a matter of time before you never hear from them again. We all remember when someone sent you an unexpected “Thank You” and how it made you feel. That positive reinforcement went a long way didn’t it. I bet you told a few people and even called that person and said “ah, you shouldn’t have”. See what I mean. Remember it’s the little things that make the difference. Something this small could mean a huge difference between reaching your yearly projections or not. Look at it this way. Grandma would be proud. Have a fantastic holiday season. Thank you for reading my words. It feels good to know that they may make a difference for someone. Until next time this is my Life Through a Different Lens. Be Well.

Learn more about the author, Gerald Grinter.

Posted by W.M. (Wendy) Gillihan, CPB,..., Seattle, Washington | Nov 18, 2010

Love it! I actually try to always send thank you gifts specifically to existing clients that refer someone that turns into repeat business. Always customized to the person - nothing generic. Why did I start doing this? Because other people have done that for me and it means an incredible amount. The unexpected ones are the best which is why I love that you addressed the "auto response". Thanks for the reminder...I owe a few people some hand written notes actually :-)

W.M. Gillihan, CPB, PHR
Posted by Karen Mathieson, Portland, Oregon | Nov 18, 2010

Thank you, Gerald, for a timely reminder on the virtues of giving thanks! What's especially great is that if we express it from the heart, gratitude benefits us as well as the recipient.

Many recent studies have shown that positive emotions such as feeling connected have a major impact on all parties concerned, and can put people on a spiral toward fuller creativity and productivity, as well as a generally higher quality of life.

Simply put, if we give in kindness we receive in kind.
Posted by Gerald Grinter, Seattle, Washington | Nov 18, 2010

Karen and Wendy! Thank you for such great comments. You are right. How you say "Thank You" matters. I believe when you make this a habit, it will shape the results you get as well as set you apart from others by showing what matters to you. Thanks again.
Posted by Marques Garcia, Bellevue, Washington | Nov 19, 2010

I absolutely appreciate people like you, sir. We have become so comercialized and automated we have forgotten how to be humane and caring and compassionate, even in doing business you can be nice. Thank you is a kind gesture to those who buy your brand or service. THANK YOU! for your input.
Posted by Paul Sweum, Bellevue, Washington | Nov 22, 2010

Excellent article Gerald. A little thank you does in fact go a long way...it's so simple, but so many out there don't get it.

Perhaps your article will educate a few more heads out there, so they WILL get it, lol.

Our generation's grandmothers were indeed the wise ones.
Posted by Gerald Grinter, Seattle, Washington | Nov 22, 2010

Thanks again for such kind words. I would love it if more people "GOT" it. Maybe your right. Our grandmothers generation were the wiser generation.

I think that sometimes our lives move so fast that we don't take time to stop and say those magic words..."Thank You".
Posted by Susan Templeton, Bellingham, Washington | May 09, 2011

My grandmother said the same thing!

Being raised in the South and recently reading Gary Vaynerchuck's "The Thank You Economy" reminded me that manners matter--more than ever when things are tough to remember what happens to one of us affects us all. Literally.

Thanks, Gerald!
Posted by Gerald Grinter, Seattle, Washington | May 09, 2011

Excellent! So true! It not only matters how you say it but when you say it as well. Grandmothers always have a way of getting right to the point and telling it like it is!

And, Gary Rocks!

Gerald
Posted by Arden Clise, Seattle, Washington | Jul 16, 2012

Wonderful article Gerald!!! I am 100% behind you on this, but you probably wouldn't expect anything less from a business etiquette consultant.

I buy a big box of cards that have my name at the top and I send probably 2 to 5 cards a week. I, of course, thank people for referrals, favors, lunch, coffee, etc. I also like to send articles that I think would be of interest to the person or send congratulations when I hear about something they did.

So few people do it, which is a shame, but it really is powerful!
Posted by Gerald Grinter, Seattle, Washington | Jul 17, 2012

Arden,

Wow! Sounds like you go above and beyond. As a business etiquette consultant I'm sure you have many tricks up your sleeve! Thanks for reading my article. Have a great week