The Soul of Service: The Foundational Qualities You Must Have for Great Customer Service

Dr. Maya Angelou said, "People will forget what you say, they will forget what you do, but they never will forget how you make them feel." Great customer service is about your customer’s experience.  Your competitors sell products and services that are quite similar, if not identical, to yours; they may even be priced similarly to yours.  What makes a difference to your customers is their experience; how you make them feel. Everybody talks about customer service, lots of people teach customer service, but I began to wonder if there might be some foundational, or intrinsic, skills that could guide you in serving your customer.  As a trainer and consultant working with organizations and industries as diverse as Facebook, state government, healthcare, universities, and financial services, I observed that within every organization, there are usually key individuals who simply “get it”.  When given a choice, customers always go back to them, not only when they have problems, but for every type of interaction with the organization.  As I observed those individuals in our workshops, I began to see common traits emerge.  In fact, it seems that there are really four traits, intrinsic qualities, that are common to the individuals who, even without training, simply seem to know how to deal effectively with their customers. Empathy “Taught by time, my heart has learned to glow for other's good, and melt at other's woe.” --Homer The first of those traits is empathy.  Empathy is the ability to connect with another individual emotionally; to feel what they’re feeling.  It’s often known as “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” or “walking a mile in another’s shoes”.  In our customer service workshops, we recommend the use of empathetic phrases such as “I’d feel that way, too, if it happened to me.”, “I don’t blame you for feeling that way.  I’d be as upset as you are in your position.”, or “I can see how frustrated you are and I don’t blame you.”  It’s also important to be authentic…sincere…in your empathy.  If you simply can’t relate to your customer’s situation, it’s okay to say so when you combine it with human understanding.  For example, you can say things like, “I’ve never been in your situation, so I’m not going to tell you I understand.  I can’t even imagine what that’s like, but I am going to do everything within my power to help you.  I’m sure if I were in your situation, I’d feel the same way you do.”  The key is sincere, human-to-human empathy. Compassion “Compassion is the antitoxin of the soul: where there is compassion even the most poisonous impulses remain relatively harmless.” --Eric Hoffer The second trait is very much related to the first and it’s compassion.  Compassion is the act of caring about the well-being of another.  It really boils down to the timeless wisdom of the Golden Rule:   Treat others the way you would have them treat you. Another way to think of compassion in customer service is, “Doing it with heart”. Like empathy, compassion is about one human relating to another human.  When our customers place themselves in our care, regardless of what our business is, they are first and foremost a human being.  We may not like their political views, we may not like the way they look or act.  Frankly, we may not like anything about them, but they are still human beings deserving of our human-to-human care, understanding, and respect. When you genuinely care about what happens to other people, you instinctively look for ways to better their experience. Listening “To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people and tying up their friendship for good.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes The third trait is the ability to listen.  This means that your sole focus is on what your customer is saying. There are three steps to effective listening: <ol> <li>Hearing.  Hearing means that you’re listening enough to know what the speaker is saying.</li> <li>Understanding.  Understanding means you relate what you’ve heard to your own experiences and knowledge.</li> <li>Processing.  Processing is the act of taking what you understood the speaker to say and evaluating it.</li> </ol> Effective listening is enhanced by a “human moment” in which you are attuned to the other person.  According to psychiatrist Dr. Edward M. Hallowell, “To make the human moment work, you have to set aside what you’re doing, put down the memo you were reading, disengage from your laptop, abandon your daydream, and focus on the person you’re with. Usually when you do that, the other person will feel the energy and respond in kind.” A technique that can help you become a better listener is to listen as though you’re going to be tested on what is being said.  If you know there’s a quiz coming up, you’ll find a way to sharpen your focus on the speaker.  Author and speaker Stephen Covey recommends repeating back what is said, using phrases such as, “Let me make sure I understand.  The problem is…” Respect “Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” --Laurence Sterne The fourth essential skill is the ability to treat all people with respect, regardless of how you might feel about them.  In fact, it’s not necessary to respect someone to treat him or her with respect.  Respecting someone is a matter of how you feel about that person and whether they have earned your respect.  Treating someone with respect is a matter of your behavior and, frankly, is a reflection of how you feel about yourself.  Certainly, people must earn our respect; regardless of whether someone has earned our respect, all people should be treated with respect and dignity.  It is a matter of your own dignity and character that you treat all things respectfully. In the movie “The Green Mile”, Tom Hanks character was a death-row prison guard.  He was charged with guarding condemned convicts who had performed some terrible crimes.  You could certainly argue that the men in his care were not deserving of respect, yet he treated them all respectfully.  It may have been the first and only time in their lives when any of them were treated respectfully. We must also respect ourselves.  We respect ourselves when we accept full responsibility for ourselves.  We may not be in complete control of the things that happen to us, but we are in complete control of how we respond to those things.  Examples of how we respect ourselves might include making respectful choices in the foods we eat, drinking water every day, avoiding destructive behaviors, and choosing friends and colleagues who are positive, up-lifting influences in our lives. In our role as a provider of service to people, we may find ourselves dealing with people we don’t like or respect.  We maintain our own dignity and self-respect when we treat all living things respectfully.  In his landmark book, Man’s Search for Meaning, author Viktor Frankl suggests that the true measure of an individual lies not in his or her usefulness, but in his or her ability to maintain a sense of dignity in all circumstances.  It’s easy to be arrogant and judgmental; it’s more difficult and infinitely more meaningful to maintain your dignity in the face of undignified situations and people. As we truly listen to the people in our lives and treat them with empathy, compassion, and respect, they develop trust and respect for us and that’s good for our marriages and our friendships and it’s also good for business. Editor's note: Don is hosting a free, 1-hour workshop on this topic via Biznik, on Nov. 12: <a href="../members/don-crawley/events/the-art-of-customer-service-ten-tactics-for-delighting-your-customers-1">"The Art of Customer Service"</a>. 2009-11-04T20:56:12Z

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the-soul-of-service-the-foundational-qualities-you-must-have-for-great-customer-service

2009-11-09T09:42:08Z

2009-11-09T16:46:15Z

Are there intrinsic qualities that make some people better at it than others? In this article, best-selling author and speaker Don R. Crawley discusses the four foundational qualities that can make you great at customer service.

The Soul of Service: The Foundational Qualities You Must Have for Great Customer Service

2009-11-09T16:46:15Z