<p>Do you ever ask yourself “Why do I do this to myself?” These situations are never fun, you feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. Well here is an introduction as to how you can minimize these occurrences.</p>
<p>Learn to say NO</p>
<p>Every situation is different, saying no to a customer is different than saying no to a boss or a partner. But as a basic rule of thumb, just remember to say no and shut up, be confident. When they ask why tell them the truth, your overwhelmed or the project has no relevancy to what our core goals are, just an example. Saying no can be hard, especially if you have developed a reputation for saying yes to everything, people are use to walking over you and you’ve allowed them to, so take responsibility for your weaknesses and start saying no.</p>
<p>Benefits of saying no.</p>
<ul>
<li>Conflict, some people feel that conflict is only bad, but this is not true conflict at the right time can allow for quality discussions, can prevent incorrect expectations, and also prevent massive amounts of resentment.</li>
<li>You will have more time to spend on important task, maybe even time for some self development or a strategy/planning session</li>
</ul>
<p>Learn to Under promise</p>
<p>Be a benefit finder, take the time up front with people to find out what is important to them. You should do this in every relationship that you have. So often we make assumptions based off of surface communication, like the customer is so manipulative, or my boss is so demanding. Stop! Slow down and ask them what is most important to them, then shut up and listen (don’t let them off the hook). They probably haven’t thought about this in a while or ever (depending on the particular circumstance), so be prepared to help them through there needs by asking them good questions. Find out what is most important to them, find the benefits that will most positively affect their life and then just deliver that and if you can throw in a couple of extra benefits, that come with It anyways you are now an official Over Deliverer, congratulations!</p>
<p>Things to work on to be successful with Under promising</p>
<ul>
<li>Active listening, if this sounds like a buzz word to you than you suck at listening, so read up and start practicing this can take a year or more to become proficient, and a lifetime to master.</li>
<li>Learn to ask good questions, not sure what good questions are? Figure it out!</li>
</ul>
<p>Be understanding, Be confident</p>
<p>Understand that everyone is operating based off their past experiences and that most of what they do or say has nothing to do with you, quit being so vain. LOL. If people are pushy or impatient or needy or emotional or whatever. Realize that they are just acting based off of past experiences. This is a great time to ask them some good questions about their past experiences and find out what is most important to them. So, slow down and take the time up-front to create proper expectations and uncover any possible “sensitive spots.”</p>
<p>One last thing, take resposibilty for yourself quit being such a whimp, your where you are at today because of <strong>your</strong> response i.e. (your disicions) to past circumstances. Once you take resposibilty for your life, you can start improving.</p>
2009-09-22T03:39:05Z
2009-09-23T22:05:01Z
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the-why-do-i-do-this-to-myself-dilemma
5
2009-09-23T15:04:46Z
2009-09-23T22:05:01Z
Do you ever ask yourself “Why do I do this to myself?” These situations are never fun, you feel stressed, anxious, and overwhelmed. Well here is an introduction, to how you can minimize these occurrences.
The “Why Do I Do This to Myself?” Dilemma
1
2009-09-23T22:05:01Z