Truth in the Workplace

On a basic level, being successful relies on the people who make up your team openly sharing the truth.

A simple principle, which I’m sure most people would agree with. Yet putting it into action in the workplace is often difficult, painful and ineffective.

Why? Because we are either not clear about what the truth is or we disagree over whose truth is the most accurate in describing the situation. The politics of truth goes beyond the reality of the situation and incorporates dynamics such as power, fear and influence in trying to achieve a result.

The fundamental meaning of success is that we describe a specific goal, outcome or state we wish to achieve and over a specific period of time, within certain guidelines we achieve the desired result. To not achieve the desired result is failure.

A common question at this point is: If we achieve the result, does it matter how we got there?

My answer: Yes.

The underlying foundation of truth is that we accurately describe reality in such a way that everyone becomes clear about the situation. Once we are clear we can decide where we want to go from this point and we can begin to set goals, assign tasks and get to work making a contribution.

If we do not accurately describe reality, if we allow biases, fears, assumptions, rumours and speculation to cloud the issues, then the direction we set and the choices we make are based on flawed information. We may reach the desired result but only after making many course corrections.

Similarly, if we “spin” or manipulate the truth we may reach the end result but usually at the expense of broken relationships, low trust, people hedging on commitments, selective communication and any of a long list of detrimental behaviours in the workplace.

Building a culture of truth-telling means that people know it is acceptable and preferable to tell the truth and that it is unacceptable not to tell the truth. In an age where we have to design “whistle blower” policies so people feel it’s safe to tell the truth this can be a challenge. The benefits of accepting that challenge, though, are many and they all support long-term success.

 Action Point

Building a culture of truth-telling positively impacts people, performance and profits. It relies on clear communication and an understanding of the impact the truth has on everyone involved. In order to do this we need to communicate with confidence and courage.

There are four basic choices we can make about which style of communication we will employ. These types are:

Direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing,

Indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing,

Submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic,

Assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous.

Assertive communication can strengthen your relationships, reduce conflict and provide you with social support when facing difficult times. A polite but assertive ‘no’ to excessive requests from others will enable you to avoid overloading your schedule and promote balance in your life. Assertive communication can also help you handle difficult situations more easily, reducing drama and stress.

Here's how:

When approaching someone about behaviour you’d like to see changed, stick to factual descriptions of what they’ve done that’s upset you, rather than labels or judgments.

Here’s an example:

Situation:
An employee or co-worker, who habitually arrives late for your meetings, has shown up fifteen minutes late for a meeting, again.

Inappropriate: "You’re so rude! You’re always late."

Assertive Communication: "We were supposed to meet at 11:30, but now it’s 11:45."

The same should be done if describing the effects of their behaviour. Don’t exaggerate, label or judge; just describe:

Inappropriate: “Now the meeting is a waste of time.”

Assertive Communication: “Now I have less time to deal with this issue because I need to be at another meeting by 1pm.”

Use “I Messages”. If you start a sentence off with “You” it comes across more as a judgment or attack, which puts people on the defensive. If you start with “I” the focus is more on how you are feeling and how you are affected by their behaviour. It also shows more ownership of your reactions and less blame.

For example:

‘You Message’: “You need to show some respect and get here on time!” 

‘I Message’: “I’d appreciate it if you came to meetings on time.”

Here’s a great formula that puts it all together:

“When you [their behaviour], I feel [your feelings].”

When used with factual statements, rather than judgments or labels, this formula provides a direct, non-attacking, more responsible way of letting people know how their behaviour affects you. For example:

“When you yell, I feel attacked.”

A more advanced variation of this formula includes the results of their behaviour (again, put into factual terms) and looks like this:

“When you [their behaviour], then [results of their behaviour] and I feel [how you feel].”

Here are some examples:

“When you arrive late, I have to wait and I feel frustrated.”

“When you tell people on the team that it’s okay to do something I have already said is unacceptable, some of my authority as a manager is taken away and I feel undermined.”

Tips:

1. Make sure your body reflects confidence: stand up straight, look people in the eye, and relax.
2. Use a firm, but pleasant, tone.
3. Don’t assume you know what the other person’s motives are, especially if you think they’re negative.
4. When in a discussion, don’t forget to listen and ask questions! It’s important to understand the other person’s point of view as well.
5. Try to think win-win: see if you can find some common ground and a way for you both to get your needs met.

Parkinson’s Law

The vacuum created by a failure to communicate will quickly be filled with rumour, misrepresentation, doubt and poison.