Understanding Body Language is Good Business

We have all experienced it. The client who meets with us, says she likes our proposal and will call, but we have the impression she won’t. The employee who stands before us, agreeing to work harder on the project, but we are not convinced it will happen.

People say what they consciously want us to know. Their body language can tell us things they don’t know or don’t want us to know. Because body language is partially unconscious and develops over our lifetimes, it is a lot harder to fake. So when what we see does not match what is said, we are more likely to believe our eyes. That is why up to 93 percent of the information we receive from a situation is nonverbal.

Increasing your awareness of what other people are telling you – without saying a word – can increase your success. Here is an overview of the three types of personalities and the best ways to communicate with them.

The “Looker”

These people think mainly in pictures. You can identify them by watching for these signs:

• They have good posture but their shoulders are tense.
• They often have thin lips.
• They frequently have wrinkles on their foreheads. This happens because people generally look up, raise their eyebrows, furrow their brows and breathe faster when they remember something they have seen.
• They look in your eyes while speaking.
• They choose clothes and decorate their offices and homes for visual impact.

Tips for Communicating with a “Looker”

1. Speak in images whenever possible, since this is how they like to get information.
2. Look in their eyes most of the time – when listening or speaking. This lets them know you are interested and paying attention.
3. If you are not a Looker, do not be unnerved by the amount of eye contact this person gives you. He is not trying to be confrontational or invade your personal space – this is how he gets information

The “Listener”

These people think mainly in sounds: words and noises. Listeners share these characteristics:

• Their shoulders usually are slightly rounded.
• They frequently hold their heads slightly down and to the side. This happens because people look to their left side, tilt their heads a bit and breathe evenly when they remember something they have heard.
• They often put a hand up to their face or ear – sometimes called “telephone posture.”
• Their lips may move when they are thinking through something (literally talking to themselves).
• They most often look away from others when speaking.
• They often “drum” with their fingers and have music on in the background.

Tips for Communicating with a “Listener”

1. Emphasize sounds in your descriptions.
2. Don’t give them too much eye contact, and look away then back to them when you speak.
3. If you are not a Listener, do not feel ignored if you are not receiving much eye contact. These people still are paying attention to what you are saying.

The “Toucher”

This group processes information through feelings and emotions. In addition to being more likely to touch people than the other two groups, here are ways you can identify them:

• They tend to lean toward people during conversations.
• They frequently look down to their right, round their shoulders and breathe deeply – because this is what people do when remembering something they have felt.
• They generally have full lips and deep voices.
• Their movements are loose and relaxed.
• They choose their clothes based on comfort rather than style.

Tips for Communicating with a “Toucher”

1. Emphasize emotions or feelings in your conversation.
2. Feel free to touch them when you want to emphasize a point.
3. If you are not a Toucher, don’t feel your space is being invaded if they lean in or touch you.

Who Are You?

People generally have characteristics from more than one group. You can determine your dominant personality by figuring out how you like to remember things: in pictures, sounds or feelings.

It is important to know your personality type, because this dictates how you generally communicate with others. If you are a Looker, you may be frustrated by the lack of eye contact you receive from a Listener. This could lead you to spend too much time during a meeting trying to catch her eye – which may make her feel uncomfortable. You may be explaining things from a visual perspective while she is more interested in how things sound. As a result, this person might decide not to work with you.

Tip: Increase Your Effectiveness Today

Watch the people around you and notice if they are Lookers, Listeners or Touchers. In conversations, give them what they want: eye contact for Lookers, more “telephone posture” for Listeners, and lean in when speaking with Touchers. You will be pleasantly surprised by how quickly you can build rapport with them.