'Women as men'... What's wrong with this picture?

Henry Higgins gave voice to it in 'My Fair Lady': 'Why can't a woman be more like a man?' Followed by a laundry list of desirable qualities, of course. And I just came across 'women as men' in an interesting context which conjured up short hair, minimal makeup, long hours and pantsuits. Beyond the Venus/Mars thing which comes into play in so many relationships, there are extremely important reasons for women not to 'be men' when it comes to enterprise. Credit to Katty Kay of the BBC and Good Morning America's Claire Shipman for fleshing out this argument. In their new book 'Womenomics' they make the case for women in business, which readily translates into women as entrepreneurs. How many of us, as women, have felt that we don't have much power? That we're lucky to have had any success at all? That trying harder and being grateful for what we manage to achieve are the keys? That's one eye-opener from Kay and Shipman: that women have a tremendous amount of power in the world of business. We just haven't quite realized it yet. Several studies in the past ten years have proven that companies make higher profits--what Kay and Shipman call 'pink profits'--when women are part of the top management team. Companies and countries are taking notice. Take Norway's Minister of Trade, for example, who mandated that top management of any company be 40 percent female--not to appear PC but rather to compete in a global economy. So why don't we women realize how valuable we are in business and stand strong when it comes to work/life balance? Why do we settle for the same patterns that entrap our male colleagues (who themselves yearn for work/life balance as well)? The other day on the cereal aisle in Target I happened upon a woman just hanging up her smartphone with four kids popping on and off her giant basket (the kind with a kiddy seat). A boy was asking, predictably, for some special item or other. 'I don't know,' she said. 'I've only just gotten started on shopping.' The next instant her phone was ringing, and before answering she shushed her kids: 'Mommy's got an important phone call. I need all of you to be very quiet.' I moved on, wondering what would happen when a voice came over the loudspeaker and onto her phone call. 'Cleanup on aisle three' or something. And what bribe she used to ensure compliance. That mom was juggling kids and career, clearly, and doing remarkably well. But why should she have to sandwich shopping for Honey Nut Cheerios between phone calls obviously important to her business? Why shouldn't she be able to put an end to that, to negotiate for business time and family time? She seemed to be plugged into the corporate world somewhere, but those calls could just as easily been from clients or customers. Why do we women feel like we have to behave as men do in business? (Heck, why do men? But that's another story.) Whether mothers or sisters or daughters or wives, women are of vital importance in our world. We're the glue that holds things together. Because we are natural jugglers, multi-taskers and use our right-brain thinking well, women are naturals in business. Yet whether in the workplace or with our own enterprises, we settle for second-class status. We juggle (and at that we're very good). We squeeze and scrimp and sandwich, like that frazzled mom in Target. To be fair, many men use that same ploy (we can blame cellphones): I'm thinking business even though I'm someplace else. But why is it necessary? What if we were more clear about our priorities? Not only to ourselves but openly to our clients, customers and business colleagues as well, even if they outrank us? Can't we simply say 'That time won't work for me'? Kay and Shipman have a great chapter on guilt ('that useless emotion') and saying no, full of specifics like the 'keep it simple No Sandwich'. Expertly, they recognize the people-pleasing part of the female psyche... how we don't just want to have it all, we think we can do it all, take care of everyone. They offer oodles of real-life stories and suggestions to help each of us find our own way through it all. Bottom line: Few women would really want to be men, so let's work on crafting circumstances and enterprises that enrich us instead of leaving us frazzled. Let's give up on trying to 'be men' and move instead towards being better, happier, more fulfilled people. 2009-10-15T17:45:03Z

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women-as-men-whats-wrong-with-this-picture

2009-10-16T11:24:53Z

2009-10-16T18:25:08Z

Why should it be necessary for a woman to be like a man to be successful in business, her own or someone else's? A real-life example and a new book tackle this dilemma, with positive results.