Feedback on my service explanation

Hi Laura,

The concept and design of your webpage is very nice! And I think the product looks extremely valuable to your customers. The fact that you have something unique to offer puts you in a fantastic position, because there's less competition...but, as you said, the flipside is that sometimes it makes it tough to explain to people what they're getting! :)

Perhaps if you think about some of the following questions it will help focus your thoughts a little.

1)--WHO. Who's your target prospect? At what stage are they in their web development? Are they small companies? Solopreneuers? Are they in large or small niches? You've done a good job pinpointing some of their primary frustrations...but take some time to think even more deeply about that, if possible. Why are they online in the first place and what are they trying to get out of it? Then talk to that person directly...call them by name..."Attention: Frustrated Solopreneurs Just Starting to Tackle the Online World," for example...

2)--"What's in it for Me?" The three bullet points on your site clearly define WHAT you're offering, but try to articulate the benefits of your service to your customers by answering their unspoken question: "What's in it for me?"

To do that, take a feature of your service--i.e. "A categorized, complete listing of every web mention for up to three search terms organized by topic"--and ask yourself, "Why would my prospect want this?" Then, when you have an answer to that, ask it again. And so on and so on until you can't think of anything more. You want to get both surface and core benefits that tap your prospects' emotional needs as well as their professional needs.

3)--Finally, after you've thought about the questions above, try putting together a headline that really spells out one of those core benefits.

Hopefully these suggestions make sense. If you have any questions or anything, don't hesitate to ask. Good luck!!

I agree with Katie's feedback, generally.

It looks like you are offering a service that many people actually need... whether they know it or not.

My first impressions are that there are a LOT of words to read on that page, there are seven different font styles, and too much information in general.

The bullet points at the bottom are too detailed for "front page" content. I think there are short, 3 or 4 word descriptions of each of these things that you could use instead, with a little "Read More" link next to each bullet. On the second page you can then go into more detail about that particular aspect of your service.

This has the added benefit of giving you measurable data about which bullet point(s) people are most interested in! Does one of them get 80% of the clicks? Maybe you need to focus on that area more... etc, etc, etc.

And I have a personal pet peeve that I will mention here since I am hearing this more and more from other people: My personal info is valuable. So if you are going to ask me for it, give me something FIRST.

In the box on the right side of the page, you have the offer to receive an exclusive report, in exchange for my personal information.

In my mind, you are asking me to "pay" up front (by exposing my personal data) for something of undetermined value.

If you gave me the first page for free, the Executive Summary for free, or even a precis of the content, then I might be persuaded to give you my info.

But right now, the cost/benefit analysis doesn't work for me.

That is my $0.02!

And, let me just reiterate that I think your service is something valuable, and that a LOT of people need! My feedback is just meant as constructive criticism!

Best of luck, - Christian

Except for the misspelled word in the second question, I think it's clean, draws a person in, is easy to understand and has a powerful closing request.

Visually, I think it's fine too except... well, the email address says Sarah, but if it's your offer I would add a picture - a face that nice should be seen as much as possible (I think).