How not to network or, getting folks to like you isn't really that hard if you're doing it right

Dani,

Sometimes you just have to give people the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps she truly thought that she was helping you with her information. Her approach could have used more tact. And, you never know ... perhaps there is some truth to what she is saying from her perspective. It is your business, after all, and if the majority of people are not confused by your name ... then all is well.

I try always to remember what Dr. Wayne Dyer said in one of his books, We judge our selves by our intentions and we judge others by their actions. When I feel a sting come in from someone, I try to back it up ... take a second look and instead of feeling hurt by what the person said or did - I try to see what their intention was. If the intention was to share information that might help me, then I work at going in flow to see if what they said has any gem of truth in it that I can apply. If their intent was to hurt, I'll just let it pass through and not dwell on it.

Your repsonse seems to have worked well for you.

I hope that helps.

Dani... I've encountered similar experiences and had some of the same feelings as you. Now that I'm older, I see a little different.

It's interesting to me, how the comments of other's can affect us in so many different ways. If we were to go through life, without the occasional encounter of something or someone contrary to our expected results, we would probably never gain any wisdom.

Therefore, I have learned to be "thankful" when someone offers me what I used to consider a criticizing remark.

It's my impression that this woman may have provided you a great opportunity by giving you another viewpoint albeit in a perceived rude manner. You may want to consider her "intention", and forgive her approach.

Zita's comment prompted me to take Dr. Dyer's book off my shelf and read it again. It reminded me of a very important principle that if we, "change the way we look at things, the things we look at change."

If ... "things seem to be going pretty well", then you should not question the name of your business, and ignore the suggestion.

On the other hand, an observation from a "prospective client or referral partner" may be worthy of a little thought. I learned a while back that business success revolved around serving the needs of my customers, not my ego.

Networking can help us to acquire better focus in our business if we are receptive to it. If not, we can miss out on some "well intentioned" insights that we may have missed otherwise.

Hoping you received my sincere comment in the way it was intended... Howard

Well said, Howard!

I couldn't have said it better, Howard.

I would just add, from my own perspective, that as I progressed in this journey of solopreneurship, I realized that one comment is just that: one comment. I used to take every comment to heart, and brood and stew over each one.

Now I take a moment with my inner self to shake out anything I can learn, think about the advice (and who it came from) and then either change or toss it aside and move on.

Thanks, for sharing your story, Dani.

Dani,

I remember some advice from long ago, "Taking offense is just as bad as being offensive". Kind of a variation on "It takes two to tango".

You might want to just consider the source -- a rude, crude, thoughtless boor -- and move on. Don't let such a person pull you down -- fly on your own terms, don't let someone else push your buttons.

Dani,

Anything that gets you a second look is good. I'd say the name is great. I'd question this women's network skills and business knowledge.

Dani: How you view that comment could say a lot about your personal esteem or it could say a lot about your expectations at that event. You have a lot for us to look at though. Branding and identity can be very important. The name is only a part of our business. Tag lines, logos, and name recognition. Colors, and viewpoints, and associations. Lots of these should be considered and are not by the small business person. The super big corporations look at it heavily. Cola's and fast food folks for two examples and are you thinking pepsi or coke; McD's or Wendys or Jack in the box? Kleenex vs. any other tissue brand, etc. Good story. Lots of those out there. Thanks for asking us to think some of the networking encounters through.

I "connected" with a lady on a B2B site. She was in the printing business. I sent her a PDF file of our brochure for my husband's art restoration business hoping for a quote on what she would charge me for printing. The brochure is filled with plenty of text and images which make it clear about what he does. On the area where I had the details about pick up and delivery, I had a jaggedly cropped photo of a Bentley which I brown toned to match the brochure theme. She told me it was confusing because people might think we were selling cars.

Anywhere you get enough people together, you're going to have socially awkward moments. It's just part of being human.

My wife and my brother's wife like to joke about how everyone in my family states everything as fact. Vanilla is better than chocolate; I know because I tasted them both. Maybe the person in your story was raised by the same pack of wolves!

One of the things I've learned about networking in person is to minimize the number of sentences that end with periods. As long as sentences end in questions, you give people an opportunity to do what they like to do most: talk about themselves.

Anyway, I have a story I'll add along the same lines. In one networking meeting last year, I mentioned that I do taxes. The host took this as an invitation to spend five minutes talking about how TurboTax made me obsolete.

Hello Zen Kitchen.. I love the name; really do. But here's another situation so similar that i just had to pass it along; about a year ago a job came in to design and develop a website and video for a dating company. They quite rightly prided themselves in getting off line and in line 'in person'; basically it was an introduction agency... they were so sincere and loved their bussiness... but here's where it went wrong- they were called; "Lunch First" and when you think about it, it's a great idea.. 'let's do lunch first.." well, I don't need to tell you that their name became confused with an idea that they had a restaurant called , you guessed it, lunch first. Second problem, someone else got on board and designed a logo that had forks and knives..spoons too! I thought it looked great and tackled the problem 'head on' but the owners didn't like it.. so i was left with the problem of how to market a dating agency that sounded like a cafe with a message that should have been simple. The problem was never really solved because there were so many cooks in the kitchen that everything but Zen happened.

You can't make all the people happy all the time! I think you have great instincts and you should stick with them. Sounded like you handled the situation pretty diplomatically. Not that it matters, but I love your name.