Are you sure you want to do business with this person?

Boy, Howard. What a great question. In looking back, I can think of a few instances where I've had a great relationship with someone in a social sense, but a side of them came out in our first business transaction that surprised (and disappointed) me.

I tend to be intuitive and, most times, my gut feeling turns out to be accurate. I think that trust in a business relationship comes from many small, trustworthy acts at first, until that credibility is established.

I think it works the other way, too. I have had high-profile clients give me a small copywriting job that was hardly worth my time. But I accepted it because I realized that this was their way of testing the waters, to see if I could deliver a high-quallty product, on time and within budget. When I delivered, they gave me larger projects.

But if you are talking about something bigger here, a partnership in a company, well, that's more complicated.

I'll be interested in hearing other people's thoughts on this.

What political figure was famous for the statement: "Trust; but verify."?

The nature and the quality of the trust that's sufficient for a casual, social relationship is totally different than that necessary for more complicated relationships like business or marriage.

A key question to ask yourself is "What's at stake?". The more that's at stake, the more real and well founded trust you need.

The person who is fun to be with in social settings could be death to your business.

Howard: Your timing with this question is uncanny.

I just completed a business transaction with someone I have known for many months through Biznik. The work that they did was a big disappointment to not only me but the client that I represented them to. My gut told me not to work with this particular Biznik member on the job regardless of how I might have felt about them personally. When I told them about my concerns they berated me and I made a bad decision in a moment of pressure. What I should have done was listen to my gut and walk away.

So often we want to help out our friends, family, and neighbors. I am incredibly charitable with my time and my business connections. There have been a handful of times when somebody has taken advantage of my generosity. In this particular situation I was surprised by how disregarded and ultimately disrespected I was by someone that I have done so much for.

I believe that you can certainly mix business and pleasure/social relationships and I will continue to do so - after all that is what I am here on Biznik doing every day, but I will also remind myself to trust my gut.

Howard, the event you posted to address this issue of who to trust and the issue of small business scams looks great! From a past conversation, I know you have some sage advice about these sorts of things. Certainly anyone who doesn't want to their small business scammed should check out your event!

This topic is definitely thought-provoking. My first thought was that there was little difference between my close friends and those I would trust to do business with, but as I contemplate it, that's not true. It would depend on the person and the situation.

In my personal experience, I only have close friends who are reliable, trustworthy, caring, and honest. So on the surface, that would make for some great business partnerships, right?

But when I think about it, business requires a higher level of accountability, and allows for less give-and-take in the emotional realm.

For instance, if a friend is late or stands me up because she's had a terrible fight with her boyfriend, I understand. And I would hope for the same level of forgiveness and acceptance from her if I should do the same.

But if my accountant called me and said she needed to cancel our appointment for the same kind of reason...yeah, I'd probably be looking for a new accountant next time.

In school, we talk a fair amount about the two kinds of time we spend in business relationships: Task and Maintenance.

Task is basically getting stuff done, making the widgets, calling the clients to get a sale, etc. Most businesses do a LOT of Task. Nearly 95% of their time is spent there, for better or worse.

Maintenance is stopping the to-do list and processing relationship and emotional stuff. Most businesses only do this when they have to, and a lot of times, they don't do it very well. This is why there's such a need for great business consultants and organzational development professionals (like Karrie!).

I'd say in friendships (at least in mine), we spend maybe 70% of our time in Maintenance, and maybe 30% in Task.

The point being that I can be assured my friends are pretty good at Maintenance (emotional process work), but I have less certainty about their ability at Task. And how will they cope when they're in an environment that is less Maintenance-oriented?

It's a whole other ball of wax.

I'm not going to be able to make your con-men vs sales-men event next week, Howard, but based on this topic and knowing you, it's gonna be a great one!

Thanks, Howard. That event starts right as I'm getting done with my dance fitness class...otherwise, I'd be there.

Howard,

Bob and I are hosting our SoCo Connectors event in Renton that same day, so I'm afraid I can't be there. But I know that with all your experience you will have valuable nuggets to share. I would encourage people to take advantage of this opportunity to learn from a master.