Going with the flow: How has serendipity helped you?So today a good friend asked me to spontaneously come to her newly formed therapy supervision group. I've been wanting to find a new supervisior, so I decided to go. With only three hours notice, she called the other participants and the facilitator to ask if I could come.
Everyone agreed...nervously. And I didn't realize how awkward it was going to feel until I sat down in this unfamiliar space, facing the participants and facilitator who all admitted feeling anxious and concerned about the purpose of my visit.
That's the setup, and in the moment, it was enough to feel like a convincing reason to avoid spontenaity.
After two hours, though, it became crystal clear to everyone that this was a good fit for all of us -- they're the right group for me, and I brought in positive energy for them.
I was moved by this experience to consider the other times in my life when I've been willing to sacrifice the comfort of my expectations, my plan for my day and how things are going to go...and how so often that pays off with such graceful rewards.
Because I (and that group) were willing to be influenced off our expected plans, I now have a great supervision group, and they have a richer group.
I'm curious: how has spontaneous going with the flow helped you?
Rachel,
It's awesome that you were nervous and you jumped in.
As a type 7 in Ennegram (optimistic, versatile, and spontaneous), I jump in and go with the flow easily.
My challenge is that I can drop the task in hand or I can over commit myself. I am watching myself not to get too execited when opportunities are presented.
And, indeed, spontaneity brought me many greaceful rewards!
That can be my challenge- as a 1 on the enneagram, who integrates to 7- in my best times I can go with the flow, and otherwise, I can get stuck and inflexibile, especially when scared or frustrated.
I love the story of you jumping in and seeing how it works out. I think this proves one of my favorite teachings: that something 'feeling good' isn't a good indicator of whether it's a good thing or not. Sometimes something can feel good, and actually not be beneficial.
And then the other side, where I'm having my wings stretched and it's uncomfortable and not fun- and still really good.
That happened this past year when I gave a presentation at the International Conference on Business and Consciousness- definitely thought it was outside the crowd I normally spoke to... and yet, all kinds of great things have come from it. And the presentation went fabulously, even though I felt disconnected and nervous leading up to it.
Rock on!
I love that you guys are bringing in the enneagram!
You might have guessed then, Hsuan-Hua and Mark, that my friend who made the suggestion and initiated that whole process is a 7! Spontaneous is her middle name.
I'm an 8, so it can be challenging for me to relinquish control....and it's absolutely my Work to do so. That's what makes her such a great friend for me, and why I was inspired to post this topic.
(FYI, the facilitator was a 6 and the other participant was a 9 with a 1 wing, so you can get how they would have anxiety over this change in affairs. The 9 admitted later that it was a good experience for her to be stretched like that with a positive payoff...kind of like what you're talking about, Mark.)
Any more stories of serendipity paying off out there?
Sounds like Myers-Briggs. Rachel, It's all about taking Risks. To me, that's not only how you learn, but grow as an individual. A professor once told me that if something or something keeps coming up, take a second look. As for Serendipity, you can read all about it in my post to Brake Director.
Another thing I was taught is that opportunity is all around you. You do not have to go after everyone, but if you reach out to those opportunities, you will open up opportunity for you.
I love this discussion about serendipity. There are so many times when we avoid something that feels "uncomfortable." When we move outside of our comfort zone, of course it is going to feel "uncomfortable."
Think back to any of the big learnings in your life. There is always that awkward feeling right before or during the event. I remember learning to drive. Although I was excited, I was also way outside of my comfort zone. I still remember the feeling of pushing the gas for the first time. I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to stop the momentum.
My point is that in order for us to learn, we need to get outside of our four walls. At times that means being uncomfortable. Kids can do this easier because they haven't built up as many barriers. They are constantly open to learning new things. We need to remember this as we and our businesses grow.
P.S. This all comes from experience. I'm a 4 on the Enneagram scale, so I live with my emotions on my sleeve wanting to avoid getting hurt at any cost.
The enneagram is like Myers-Briggs, but much much more complex and deep, in my opinion, David.
As soon as my event gets approved, I'll post the link to the discussion that I'm holding about the enneagram and how to use it to know ourselves and our clients better (this is an event I regularly hold called Know Thyself; Know Thy Client).
Jen, I know being a 4 means working a lot with deep feelings, so I commend you for pushing yourself into uncomfortable spaces for the sake of deeper learning!
This is a fascinating topic. Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way) uses the terms serendipity and synchronicity interchangably.
I agree with Jen that kids can be better (not as programmed yet) at being spontaneous. But as a former teacher, I saw certain kids that found the risk-taking a very difficult thing to do. Many times, that was the high-achieving, perfectionist child who feared that (gasp!) they would make a mistake. I think we adults have some of those same kinds if issues (even more so, perhaps).
My risk-taking lately has involved jumping into a different kind of creative effort: a new genre of writing called the memoir. It was having the courage to put my writing out there in front of strangers, in the form of a critique group. It was like baring my soul, the innermost part of me, and welcoming others into it. It's probably one of the most rewarding experiences I've had. Now I love and look forward to my twice-monthly writers' group meeting.
Rachel, I have taken many, many tests over the year (especially through my degree work in psychology), but would really love to do the enneagram thing. It is extremely difficult to get away for events, but I'll keep watching and maybe one of these times it'll work. Thanks for introducing this interesting topic.
Cool, my event is available now. Here's the url: Know Thyself; Know Thy Client.
Judy, I hope you can make it, but if not this one, then one in the future!
That attitude of openness and being in the frame of mind to say "yes" to what presents itself is exactly how I found and then joined Biznik.
(Or as I like to say nowadays, it found me:-)
It's also one of the main aspects of what has worked so well for me in Biznik.
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