Peer coaching / accountability partnering

Gwen

What a great idea! Just reading your idea makes me want to go right out and find someone to partner with in this way. I especially like the idea of finding someone who is NOT in my particular field, as I could use fresh ideas to look at world with.

I suspect the way to make this work is to outline goals for yourself (or you can work with your partner to do this). Decide the next steps and give them deadlines, then.....

.....get to work!

Of course, there are lots of things that come up which might have you altering your path. I think that is fine, just so long as you see how it effects the original vision of where you wanted to go.

Anyone else like this accountability partnering idea? If so, I'm looking for someone who naturally seems to enjoy the unconventional approach, has a sense of humor, integrity, can think logically and listen to their intuition. Yeah, sounds like an ad for a personal <g>.

Seriously, I think it is a great idea to have someone to help you kick your own ass from time to time. Anyone interested in trying this, contact me, and let's put wings on those dreams.

First, I would encourage you two (Michael and Gwen) to look to each other. I've known Gwen for a couple years, and have met Michael on a number of occasions. You two have complimentary energies and I think you'd work well together.

That aside, I have had an accountability partner for over 6 months - Biznik, Sara Eizen. I may not work alone, Dan and I are spouses - both working out of our home, and business partners - developing Biznik together, which means we don't make the best accountability partners for each other.

Sara and I have committed to meeting once a week, and with the exception of the holidays and travels, we've done pretty well with that.

On the weeks we don't meet face to face, we email a list to the other of the things we want to get done. Sometimes the act of telling someone else you're going to do something is enough to make it happen.

We didn't have any guidance on how to approach our peer coaching, so we just did what came naturally and tailored it according to our needs. We found that addressing three tasks/goals a week was the most manageable. In most cases, we had suggestions for one another in how to complete those tasks.

We've also used our sessions to bounce ideas off each other. When it came to choosing which of the three web site layouts she got from her designer, we were able to go over them together. I think it helped Sara to have another person separate from her designer, to articulate her likes and dislikes with.

My three suggestions:

1. Commit to meeting face to face once a week. You can be flexible about days and times and schedule the following week at each meeting, but commit to it and don't let each other skip no matter how busy things get sometimes.

On a couple occasions Sara and I met for an hour at 8am, which was the only time we were both free.

1. Try to only meet for an hour and don't let a meeting run for over an hour and half no matter how much you're enjoying each others' company. If you do let them go longer, then on those busy weeks when you feel like you just can't squeeze your peer-coaching meeting in, you'll think of how long the meetings usually last and use the excuse that you just can't spare the time.
   

Peer coaching meetings should be about business talk. Sara and I've gone out at other times to just hang out and chat, so we can stay focused during our peer coaching time.

1. Take notes on what you committed to doing, and bring the notes from the previous week to the each meeting.

Good luck!

Gwen,

I do have some thoughts for you, both from my personal experience and from what I?ve gleaned from 10 years of business consulting.

Doing trades of any sort can be tricky. I?ve even thought of hosting a workshop on this very topic. It is important to be sure you both know what is expected of you. It might sound rigid between friends, but putting something in writing can be a good way to A.) make sure you are both on the same page, B.) set up something a bit more formal so you will both take it seriously, and C.) have something to point back to and refocus your efforts if you do get off track.

I also know from working with many clients who are in business together (couples, friends, family members, etc.) that anytime you have a dual relationship, you open the door to more conflicts, role confusion and unmet needs. In your case, you are setting up three relationships (friend, coach and coach-ee).

Here are some key things you may want to try to support your venture:

1. Write an agreement including: -What is being traded. -How time will be exchanged (hour for hour, alternating 20 min sessions, etc.) -How long the trade will last (this is much more important than it seems. Remember you can always renew the agreement after 3 months. But if you don?t put parameters around it, two things can happen: you can lose that sense of urgency with an endless agreement, and it?s also possible that one of you won?t want to continue at some point. A pre-set amount of time keeps this from being awkward and uncomfortable later.) -Sign and date this agreement (even if you never look at it again, you are each telling yourself that this is important and you will likely take the arrangement more seriously because you know you signed an agreement.)

No one thinks they need an agreement in the beginning! The same people who argue they don't need anything in writing are often the people who have a rough time with the trade/relationship down the road. It's easy to do, and it makes things clear for everyone. I highly recommend it.

1. Come up with some goals for the time frame you have set up. Without this, you may encounter that slippery slope that leads to fruitless conversations. If you don?t know what your goals are, then your first one is to come up with a list of goals. Keep it simple. 1-3 goals is plenty. I see too many people with these insane lists of goals and then when they don?t meet them they feel terrible and even less motivated.

2. Take notes at every meeting and keep them in a binder or notebook. Keep a copy of your agreement in that notebook. Review it on a regular basis, monthly or weekly.

3. Get your needs met. If you want lots of input, say so, if you need a silent listener, let your peer coach know in advance. This means you have to check in with yourself before each meeting. "What do I need? How could s/he support me this time?"

4. Make it clear in advance when you are having peer mentoring sessions and when you are just hanging out as friends. During hang-out time, don?t coach each other or focus on topics you discuss as peer coaches. This is one of the most difficult aspects of these dual relationships.

5. Provide each other feedback after each session so you can each improve in the next session. What worked, what didn't work, what could be better?

Finally, and most importantly, it can be frustrating, and can even start to feel like another job for you, if the person you choose has little to offer, doesn?t know much about what you are trying to accomplish, knows little about business growth and development, or if you feel like you are always doing the helping and not getting much in return.

If this happens, don?t feel obligated to continue the coaching aspect of the relationship. Consider someone else or consider hiring someone who does this type of work professionally. A good consultant or coach will have solid experience and insight to cut through the BS, confusion, and overwhelm and point you directly to the actions that will fulfill your goals. This can save you lots of time and stress. And, I must say, I do like the peer counseling/coaching model a lot and if done right it can be an excellent experience.

I wish you the best in trying out peer coaching. I'd love to hear how it goes!

Karrie Kohlhaas

Well, I wrote that last entry in a Word doc before cutting and pasting and sending! In the meantime Lara posted so I apologize that I didn't see your posting before I sent. I love that Lara and Sara came up with such a great structure that mirrors lots of the things I recommended.

Lara is right-on about not going over the agreed amount of time. This is true for both trades and service work. It supports both parties best. Lots of good stuff here!

Feeling alone and lack of structure are two of the biggest complaints I hear from new clients. This is a good conversation. I'll be interested to hear other input! We all need support and peer coaching can be a great way to get it.

And on a technical note, I discovered in that last posting that apostrophes in Word do not translate into biztalk! I'll know for next time. Sorry if that was difficult to read. Those funny little boxes are apostrophes.

Karrie