How High Do You Rank The Importance Of Body Language:

Great topic Nadir. I look for the verbal and non-verbal communication to be congruent. When it is not, I then know that I need to question it, to see if there is a problem.

Body language is huge. The tough part is most of don't know what clues we are sending out. Best advise; look people in the eye and stand straight. I also preach to dress your part.

No secrets, I just try to pay attention. Books help but they overwhelm. Each time the subject comes up I try to add another thing that I can be aware of and notice.

Noticing does make a huge difference. It's much easier to notice others than to notice myself. That is why I agree with Arthur's advice to look them in the eye and stand up straight.

Not noticing just adds to the difficulty of communicating. We don't need more of that:-)

I agree that looking people in the eye is crucial. I also think it's crucial to show that you are actively listening to what they have to say and not look as if you're just waiting for them to take a breath so you can jump in with your opinion.

I've found that body language cues can vary widely depending upon a person's background. People that have been in sales, marketing or managed others tend to be an easy read. They will generally be talking my body language. Talking with engineers, I just don't know what to make of it. Extroverts are aware of the message they are sending and will often do so intentionally. Introverts of the other hand are usually body screaming at you that they are uncomfortable and don't know they're telling you that.

Nadir, I feel body language is very important ! Body language, facial expressions and eye contact are all tools we use to essentially try to read each others minds. We take many things in to consideration by disecting a persons body language and not all of our investigating takes place during a conversation, much can take place when the other person is not in the spot light.

A lot can be said when it comes to "mirroring" some one else. For instance, if they slightly lean towards you when sitting and talking to you - it generally means they are "engaged."

If you do the same, they tend to be more comfortable. If you posture yourself in the same basic manner they do - the same applies.

Also, if someone blinks less than the 14 times a minute as most folks do - it can also show extreme interest.

Take notice of pupils also - when someone "beholds" something they love - their pupils tend to dilate, the opposite is true when they look at something they despise.

Take a business presentation for example. During the course of the presentation the speaker is soo good that he or she has captured the entire audience with their powerful speach. As the presentation is drawing to an end we all feel as though we know and trust this speaker and can hardly wait until the presentation is over in hopes to take a breif moment to introduce yourself and shake hands. After the presentation you slowly move towards this amazing and charismatic speaker continuing to read their body language. But as their time in the spot light fades you see a much different personality emerge as the speaker holds his or her finger up with a distressed look on their face as a universal plea to take a few moments to address private concerns. The speaker checks and responds to text messages with stress overwhelming their face as they gasp and look downward. Loosing all composure as though they has just lost something then turning to their their aid with short lashing comments. By reading body language outside of the spotlight you get a chance to read more of the book and not just the cover. Sometime revealing a positive or a questionable outcome. What do you think ?

Hello Nadir,

I am not sure of the science behind that statement, but I do find it somewhat believable, as I seem to blink somewhere within that realm of measure.

Since people differ so greatly; one could assess the number on a per-person basis, simply by observation.

It does hold true; when a person is stressed, they do blink more. When they are relaxed they tend to blink less.

In some of the Jesus movies; the directors asked the actor who played Jesus - to:"try to not blink." I have seen several of them - there is one of them in which I recall seeing; the actor never blinked once.

Thank you for your kind response to my last post.

Much can be learned from human observation, as people tend to be somewhat predictable in social situations, don't you think?

Very Best Regards,

Stephen Monday

Therefore let him have perfect peace; he whose mind is stayed upon the Lord.

To put the above quote into the context which it was written; I had stated that there was Biblical Scripture which lends truth concerning the "peace" of Jesus.

I had posted this into the last comment twice, but for some unknown reason - it got edited out.

Hi Nadir,

This "reference" process our minds use to process the type of information you described would then seem to be more of a "natural" response.

We often think of blinking as a "involuntary motion" (the same as breathing) but is it is a known fact that when you throw someone into a super high-stress environment - they do tend to blink more?

(Could it be because they are having more "trouble" processing such types of information which our brains have little to no "reference" for?)

Whereas, if you put that same person into the opposite type of situation; such as a (super calming situation) they would tend to blink less.

Does this mean the more familiar we are with the information we are presented with, the less we blink?

This could be how the old saying "he didn't blink twice," when he was asked did he do it. This is pretty fascinating stuff.

Would you agree with that assessment?

Hi Nadir,

Thank you for your informative, expert knowledge, and your willingness to share it. Human behavior; (knowledge thereof) is something which helps our species get along with one another.

The way you used "observers interpretations," gave me pause to consider the words "eye of the beholder."

How one "perceives" things is not limited to simply what our eyes see; as you said; the (visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory and gustatory) other stimuli come into play as well.

It would seem that having a better understanding of these stimuli, (and how they work) would benefit someone who works in my field. (Pro Web Copywriter)

The better I can get "inside the head" of my target prospect - the better I may speak to him on his level, to his interests, and what matters most to him.

Getting the desired response is what every copywriter aims for whether it be to make the sale, ask for more information, share the material, like to Facebook, or whatever.

Therefore to me, knowledge is power. (even if it is just the power to do a better job) Thanks for your specific, and descriptive answers.

Hello Nadir,

I have learned quite a bit I did not know concerning "how" we process information. It would seem to me that most "direct response sales writers" would want to understand as much as they could about this topic.

Not only in business, but on a personal level it would seem a better understanding of such, would help foster, and further interpersonal relationships.

I agree with your paraphrase of what I said as well as your other sentiment.