Seattle-area Introverts and Biznik Virgins

-Cough-

Shouldn't we [Biznik virgins] be saving our virginity for the "Right Networking Event?"

Will it hurt?

What if some of us want the lights off?

Will you call the next day or it's just a one night stand?

How was your "losing your virginity" experience?

Sorry for all the questions, my virginity means a lot to me!

-Andrey

Leila, You are voicing my feelings almost as if you could read my mind. I would be highly likely to attend the sort of event you're suggesting.

While I'm not a virgin Biznik, I am, at my core, an introvert. I can seem to be extroverted when it's needed but I'm not really.

I like quiet venues with a more relaxed energy. I'm not into the bar scene as I enjoy conversation that doesn't require shouting to be heard.

I dislike missing half of what the other person is saying as that too often requires me to ask the person to repeat what they've just said. Or it requires that we speak mouth-to-ear, a somewhat problematic thing to do for people who've just met.

I like to look into the eyes and face of the person with whom I'm conversing. (Ears aren't nearly as expressive as faces). Real connections come from real conversations.

I could go on in greater detail than you could stand so I'll stop and thank you for proposal.

Introverted... yes...believe it or not...that would be me... I much prefer to stand on the sidelines and observe than be right out front.

My first event was a Greenlake dog walk and even though my dog was extremely nervous (she doesnt like new things) I had a good time.

My second event is Justin's upcoming wedding event....Im assuming since Im bringing favor samples I will be expected to talk about them..

Im also not into the bar scene and would much prefer a nice coffee joint instead! Smaller crowds suit me better than larger ones....hence my reluctance to participate in anything that is over a handfull or two of participants.

What a great idea. Whether or not it comes to fruition tells me a lot about you ... info I wouldn't receive if we were trying to yell above the din at a typical event.

I definitely am an introvert, but have managed to live, work, and love in a world enriched by extroverts. My girlfriend is a blazing extrovert, which brings on all sorts of challenges. But that's another thread...

I think an Event 'aimed' at introverts would translate into an environment with less external stimulation which can sometimes flood introverts. Perhaps this would mean an environment which is not so public & noisy, and fewer people, i.e. less than 20? And the label would be important too, i.e. instead of it being aimed at 'introverts' perhaps the theme would be a 'low-key' approach to building and experiencing relationships. Or some other languaging.

I just re-read what I wrote and smiled. I'm really not into such rigid definitions! Really I'm not! In any case, I'd love to come and see who shows up.

Leila - As others have said - GREAT idea. I know many, many introverts who would benefit - well especially if this flies and the idea spreads to Portland, Oregon. Me - I'm the opposite -of course most events are geared for this.

Keep us updated I'll continue reading his thread.

Leila:

I am so glad you started this thread. I went to the event at McLeod and met a few really nice people but only a few because I am just not that person who mixes and mingles well. Like Rebecca, I prefer to watch from the sidelines more often then not.

I find it hard to BRING THE CONVERSATION but do not think of myself as an introvert, maybe I am just particular about who I chat with :). I think that for me the types of events that will make me comfortable are those that are geared towards a specific subject like Justin's wedding group, or a dog playgroup.

Leila,

I've thought about it a bit and I think my feelings on the topic boil down to one idea. You can't network effectively at a loud bar.

You might make a connection that continues beyond that initial contact, but, if you do, it's an accident. The analog for a personal/business relationship is marriage (or any committed, long-term relationship). You might have met your partner at a bar but you damn well didn't forge the long-term relationship there. If you did, I hope you have a good lawyer and a bomb proof pre-nup.

I'm OK with holding some Biznik events at noisy bars. Some people seem to handle that scene just fine. It just doesn't work well for me. I'll continue to attend such events on an occasional basis. I might even host one someday soon. But, it would be good to have an alternative for events that are primarily social.

If we can find a venue or two or three for such events, I'll take my turn hosting.

The picture in my mind is that of an event half way between a social event and an educational event. An old style salon? Where the host picks the topic(s) of discussion? Some kind of business topic? But at another sort of venue? But where?

I'm very interested in this idea! And I agree that an event that's part social and part educational would be great! It definitely seems easier to talk to people when there's something specific going on that we can talk about. So, if I might suggest a few topics of interest to me (and maybe others as well?): SEO, branding, information organization, and... networking :). If this does happen, I'd be glad to help in any way I can.

Hi Leila,

I just wanted to chime in to say that this seems like a great idea. As a virgin to the Biznik event and an introvert - I would definitely be interested in attending an event like this.

I agree that a smaller group in a low key location would probably be best. I like the idea of learning about how other introverts have learned to network (online communities like Biznik have probably helped).

Thanks for the great suggestion!

Hi Leila,

I just joined the other day. I, too, am an introvert and normally avoid gatherings in bars because of the noise and because I don't really drink. I did have a positive experience at a Biznik event held in an intimate bar the other day, but I only talked to about four people (at some length) and found myself kind of drained afterward.

I like the idea of a small gathering over tea or, as was already mentioned, a salon-type situation. I guess it might also depend on the topic of the event.

Thanks for posting about this.

Nelda

We might start out with a business related topic such as:

"The Biggest Challenges of Self Employment" or "Unexpected Successes-Where Did That One Come From?"

However, I don't think we need to stick to business topics. If the idea is to get to know each other, we should be willing to take on current events, books, etc. We might even include dangerous topics such as (fill in the blank with what you think is dangerous).

Conversation, discussion, debate. With food and drink. In a quiet setting which could be indoors or outside, weather permitting.

Wow - I just caught up with you guys, and I have to say, thank goodness I found you! I've been going to events for a couple of months now, and I am definitely more introverted than I thought.

I love the salon idea, and I was wondering if a business systems approach might be interesting - covering questions such as, "How do you make your clients feel special?" or "How do you prioritize your day?"

I like the idea of thinking about something before the meeting, so I have something solid to contribute - otherwise, I might just sit there and listen to everyone else :o)

Hope it's ok if I chime in, even though I'm an extrovert. Leila, I think this is a fabulous idea! I have many introvert friends and I love events that will support diversity. Networking is definitely easier for extros, so I think it's great that you're looking for a way to make things more palatable for the other half of the population.

BTW, I wrote a little blog post about Introverts in business that might be helpful as a refresher on what defines an introvert vs. an extrovert.

Oh, also, I'll chime in and say that my small Biznik events (the Biz Blogger Chat Groups and the Stuck and Hating It lunches) have seemed to work a lot better for introverts -- we converse on a main topic, the group is limited to 8 people, and I try to choose a quiet-ish venue.

I can't stay away from juicy BizTalk posts, baby. :) Glad I'm welcome.

I actually love the way that introverts crave depth in conversation, like what John describes. I think that's why most of my friends are intros. I crave the same thing...I just crave a bunch in a row and don't get tired of more and more and more. That's what makes me an extro. Heh.

OK - now this extrovert would like to chime in. All you introverts out there are invited to my weekly event "Just Meet and Eat". It is limited to 10 and has all the components that John has described.

If you can't make it -- you should consider Rachel's lunch time event as it seems very close to the same format except that she is a much better qualified and much better looking moderator/host.

I promise to be gentle to all virgins.

Ah, Howard, flattery will get you everywhere.

Wow, great topic and responses!

I will be attending a non-Biznik event this Monday called “A Toast to Miracles”. It will be held at a new Wine Bar/Restaurant on Mercer Island and has a semi-structured format that appeals to my-introverted-self. Topics will include business (or personal) goals/needs/visions, however, the primary focus will be on how we can contribute to each other’s success (thus, creating miracles amongst ourselves). I’m usually in my element when it comes to helping others, so this component makes this event attractive to me. The harder part, of course, will be talking about my own intentions & goals. This format (minus the wine & bar atmosphere) seems appropriate for small groups of Biznikkers, especially since we all know what it feels like to be an Indie. I’d like to host a similar event through Biznik, so as soon as I find a venue, I’ll get it posted.

By the way, all are welcome to Monday’s event. It’s at Cellar 46 on Mercer Island from 4:00 – 6:00 PM. It’s $10 if you want wine & appetizers, or just $5 if you only want snacks. Countrywide (Fernacity Team) is hosting the event. RSVP to christine_kenyon@countrywide.com or 206-275-5709 by Oct. 4th. If you come, please find me and introduce yourself so we can make a beeline to a corner table to chat!

I am told I'm an introvert, so I may as well chime in here. I would definitely attend such an event, though I can imagine a room full of people looking at each other silently, communicating only with their eyes, which might be interesting for ten minutes or so. Imagine the networking of mimes. :-)

Seriously though, depth in conversations is part of what makes Biznik events so special.

I am currently overcoming the same issue with feeling as though I was dragging myself to events that you mentioned, Leila. I did an EFT session with Rachel Whalley that, although I did not at the time understand, seems to have had a profound effect on me. Of the four or five events I have signed up for since, I have missed only one, and I only missed it because I was worn out after a long week. Prior to Rachel's session, I had missed several events for which I had signed up and fully intended to go.

Ah, more flattery for Rachel, I guess.

Wow, Kelly, thanks for the testimonial! I'm really glad EFT was able to help you. I love that work.