Posted by Ron Sukenick
, Indianapolis, Indiana | Aug 07, 2012
The Five Rs of Relationship: Rewardingness
Webster defines rewarding as a sense of reward or worthwhile return. We are building on this definition by defining rewardingness as an ongoing exchange and flow based on mutual benefit for all.
There exists a fundamental psychological principle that people are more likely to repeat behaviors that have rewarding consequences for them than those that do not.
Relationships are likely to deepen if partners can increase the range and depth of the mutual rewards they receive from one another, and if they are able to sustain a high level of mutual trust and benefits.
It is the reward of the relationship that keeps us involved.
Webster defines reciprocity as a corresponding and complementary exchange: the quality or state of being reciprocal.
Did you know that most relationships are rooted in some form of reciprocity?
Through mutual dependence, action or influence, a mutual exchange of privileges takes place.
Most long-standing relationships are grounded in some form of reciprocity in the giving and receiving of rewards.
It is indisputable that most human relationships are based on considerations of equity and exchange
Sharing this view of reciprocity as a joint responsibility enhances and deepens the relationship and the connection.
Rules are defined by Webster’s New World Dictionary as an established regulation or guide for conduct. Each of us brings rules to the relationship based on many personal factors.
The personal factors, to name a few, may include personality characteristics, boundary preferences, time availability or urgency, level of experience, geographical or global factors, comfort level, life focus, or monetary needs/ constraints.
The rules that emerge are based on the reason for the relationship, the length of the relationship, the level of established trust, and the degree of confidence that exists.
Rules constantly change as the relationship changes.
While rules may become formal or contractual, rules are often informal.
Relationship rules provide guidelines and clarify expectations for your own and your partner’s interaction.
Simply put, rules are the conditions for relationship.
Webster defines resource as a source of information or expertise; are you being a source of supply or support for someone?
Resourcefulness is the ability to effectively and efficiently respond to problems and determines resources that are needed in the moment.
Resourcefully responding to the need in the moment calls for attention to ongoing and emerging needs.
The ongoing accumulation of knowledge and skills help you become more and more resourceful in relationships.
The spirit of the word relationshift reflects that a relationship never really ends; it simply flows to something else.
Through a relationshift, the relationship becomes relevant or figural again when time, opportunity and a mutual focus reemerges.
While the relevance of the relationship is changing in the present, it is also imperative for us to understand that relationships, as a whole, always have been and always will be shifting!
A collaboration ending now, may come back again twenty years from now.