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Sherri Edwards
Sherri Edwards
Career Coach/Consultant/Trainer
Seattle, Washington
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Breaking The Myths About Networking

Networking is an often-misunderstood concept. The development of a strong network requires connections that will sustain more than a simple introduction. Those connections, and the support required to maintain them, are necessary ingredients to developing a network. 

Written Apr 03, 2008, read 795 times since then.

 

An initial meeting or contact with someone does not establish a connection unless there is follow-up of some kind. The follow-up must suggest a genuine interest in developing a mutually supportive relationship.

Developing relationships (not just contacts) is key to having access to opportunities. Expecting people to be eager to listen to a "sales job" about your value is decidedly different from developing a relationship based on mutual needs/interests. Contacts may be immediate, but a relationship can only be established and built over time. Credibility and trust are much stronger cases to build a relationship on than an instantaneous commercial.

The potential to build begins with the first introduction and requires the investment of time and energy for follow-up. The follow-up and continued contact is a prerequisite in developing relationships that will support your desire to be remembered.  Making "contacts" with no follow-up or genuine interest, will most likely lead to dead ends (and a large collection of worthless business cards).

Networking events may be in themselves intimidating or misleading. Calling an event a “networking opportunity” may create unnecessary pressure for the inexperienced Networker. In actuality, all situations or events that allow interaction with others provide the potential for building a network. It is what a person does with the contacts they make at these events that will lead to something closer to their desired outcome.

It is important to prepare what you will say and to know what your objective is when you attend an event. Come prepared with questions. Identify the settings or situations that you are most comfortable with and plan your time in advance. Some people are very comfortable with an informal setting. Others prefer a structured event. The point is to participate and practice until you can move on to other, less comfortable interactions and still succeed in developing connections.

A novice Networker often indicates a fear of not knowing what to say. Although there is much to-do over inventing a “30 Second Commercial”, it is more likely that you will gain more by listening, than speaking. Key-in on the speaker’s needs. Ask questions. (The more you speak, the less you will learn.) The more you learn, the more you can: 1) solve problems for someone and 2) build on your strategy for solving your own problems.

Networking VS Selling

A successful network connection requires a mutual understanding from the start that it is about “what I can do for you” as much as it is about “what you can do for me”. Building a network requires time and a commitment to helping others. Networking is not just meeting as many people as you can with the intent of presenting a “30-Second Commercial” to them about what you need. Networking requires showing a concern and interest in others that will help build the credibility and trust that is the mainstay of establishing an effective network.

“Drive-by” networking is often perceived as “selling”. This is the kind of networking that most people experience. It involves saying hello to many people and passing out business cards, but does not include any follow-up. It is an ineffective means to establish a productive network. (How many of us are turned off by telemarketers or other individuals that sell without expressing an understanding of or interest in our needs?)

Most successful sales situations are relationship-based. A relationship requires time to build, and more importantly, it requires integrity, credibility and trust. To establish trust and credibility, the salesperson (job seeker) needs to ask questions and listen to the answers. You need to show an interest in your audience’s needs or concerns. This cannot be accomplished in 30 seconds, nor can it be accomplished without asking some questions.

By identifying your audience's (an individual or the group’s) needs, you can present intelligent solutions or responses. By asking prepared, thoughtful questions that actually produce meaningful results, or by providing helpful connections, you are more likely to impress the person you are speaking with.  When an initial good impression is formed, it can be the beginning of a longer-term relationship.

A relationship must be nurtured. It grows over time. The elements of trust and credibility that are built over time are reasons for someone to remember you. Your relationship could potentially lead to your main interest: securing a new position. In the mean time, you have established yourself as a reliable, concerned, problem solver. Isn’t that a good thing?

Networking Tips:

  • Ask questions and listen to the speaker.
     
  • Identify their concerns or interests.
     
  • Offer solutions or connections.
     
  • Immediately follow-up with them by email or by phone.
     
  • Stay in touch!!!

If you have been referred to a new contact:

  • Copy the referring party on any correspondence with the new contact. Keep them informed of your progress.
     
  • Make sure you have considered your new resource carefully and have prepared your questions well. If the original contact has provided you with inside information, take the time to note it and reference it.
     
  • Ask questions that can be easily understood, using open-ended sentences, i.e: “Please describe”, “please tell me about”, “how would you....”. Be specific in what you are asking. "Please tell me about your industry" is too vague. "Please tell me what you like most about your industry" is more specific.
     
  • Remember to thank anyone that has taken time to help you by providing information of any kind. A thank you goes a long way.  A thank you card is appropriate when someone actually meets with you in person.
     
  • Stay in touch with your new contacts and let them know you are thinking of them. Send an article of interest, or even simply update them on your progress.

Learn more about the author, Sherri Edwards.

Comment on this article

  • Tonya Kirkland
    Posted by Tonya Kirkland, Mill Creek, Washington | Apr 04, 2008

    Great info...Thank you for sharing!

  • Michael Wolf
    Posted by Michael Wolf, Seattle, Washington | Apr 04, 2008

    Networking is, after all, work.

    It's nice to learn (or reaffirm) that networking is not all a schmooze-fest, or a slimey hoax.

    The techniques here are based on basic respect and mutual support. Not free, but fruitful (after lots of tending).

    Thanks for consolodating your ideas.

  • Pete McDowell
    Posted by Pete McDowell, Clyde Hill, Washington | Apr 05, 2008

    excellent article. most people don't really get what effective networking is- it's about mutually building meaningful, sincere and beneficial relationships.

  • Anthony Ebright
    Posted by Anthony Ebright, Santa Rosa, California | Apr 05, 2008

    Sherri,

    Thanks so much for this great article! The only thing I would add to your list is to have fun!

    Cheers!

  • Molly Gordon
    Posted by Molly Gordon, Suquamish, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

    Yes - great primer on networking. Congratulations.

    I think it is also important that we ask ourselves what kind of networking we can sustain. Are we face-to-face or cyber critters? How frequently can/will we maintain contact, really? Where is the sweet spot where showing up for your network is also showing up for yourself, where connecting with others and self-expression meet?

  • Sherri Edwards
    Posted by Sherri Edwards, Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

    Thanks, Molly. Appreciate the feedback. It is difficult for many of us to maintain face to face contact. (due to geography, time constraints, travel) . Developing a habit for communicating through the internet is sometimes the most effective approach to maintaining that connection. It's a new habit for some..

  • Matt Gillis
    Posted by Matt Gillis, Memphis, Tennessee | Apr 11, 2008

    Your article is very good. I like the personal approach you put on networking.

  • Brandon Darling
    Posted by Brandon Darling, Moline, Illinois | Apr 15, 2008

    I have been operating a consulting business for nearly eight years now. Along the way, I have had a mentor who is a huge pundit for networking and good relationships with customers. He goes so far as to scour the local SCHOOL newspapers so he can send notes to clients about what a great job their son/daughter did in the local sports event.

    Before you take me the wrong way - let me concede that managing people and perceptions is critical. You have to mind your business image and contacts.

    That said, too much emphasis is placed on "relationships" in the sense of getting to know your customer - definitely in a personal sense and even in a professional sense.

    Our company message is clear: We want to be your experts, not your friends.

    I come from an area throughly inbred with business relationships and the proverbial "good old boys club." Anyone raking in the huge money is doing so because of their family or who they married - not because they work hard, produce, or are intelligent.

    My personal vision and the one of my company is extremely sharp. I have been criticized, called arrogant, and called condescending by customers. Still, I have the most loyal customers of any other company in my industry in the area.

    I tell customers in our very first meeting that I have a family and friends: I am not looking for more. I am not going to send them Christmas cards or ask about their kids. I am not even going to ask them about their over-arching business concerns, fears, or worries. I'll gladly listen if that's what they want - but I tell them I'm not going to seek it out.

    We're experts in our field. My leading question to potential clients is "Do you want to work with experts?" If the answer is yes, I literally stand to shake their hand and tell them, "Great. We'll have our team on site tomorrow." I never discuss price, or services. They often ask, "Well, wait, what are you going to do?" I tell them that's why we'll all be here tomorrow. You want experts, right? You get them.

    What about cost? If they ask I say, "Experts are expensive. If you aren't committed to excellence what is your company committed to?"

    In short, being your customers' friend isn't going to necessarily guarantee anything. I know that, of the clients I have "befriended" playing golf and doing favors - constantly hand holding and following up - they're all gone. When you play politics, eventually you lose.

    My personal stance has always been to BE the best, ACT like the best, have evidence (of any nature) that you ARE the best. Then tell people you are the best. If they want a relationship, then they're fickle clients who will leave at the next courting.

    If you tell them how it's going to be and convince them you are the best, you can have customers that legitimately don't like you but will continue to do business with you for years.

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Article tags

  • networking
  • relationships
  • building sales
  • business development strategies
  • making contacts
  • connecting
  • selling
  • strategic networking

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