The Target On My Back

If you would like to have better results from your networking, consider becoming more like a gardener and less like a hunter! This article will give you some quick insight into the difference between the two styles of networking.

Written Feb 26, 2008, read 1231 times since then.

The first time you meet me, please don't paint a target on my back (or my front for that matter!)

When you do that, you have ceased to see me as a person and you have created a hunter mentality in both of us.

You (the hunter) are going in for the kill (the sale.)

All the while, I (the prey) am resisting you (running away in my mind even though my feet are planted firmly on the ground in front of you.)

Networking is not about making the sale in the now ... in this moment. If it were, it would be called Salesmaking not Networking.

If you are in sales mode at a networking event you are less likely to have success in your networking activities. And that is because no one likes to be hunted down and treated like your next sales conquest. Please always remember that people hate to be SOLD but most people love to BUY.

The Know, Like, and Trust Factor

So, if networking is not about making sales, what is it about?

First, let's start with the idea that people do business with people they know, like, and trust. This is a universal statement about networking and I'm sure that you've heard it many, many times.

And yet, so many people want to skip past the parts about the knowing and liking ... they want to go straight to the part about getting referrals or sales without building to and through the trusting part.

Here are a few ideas of how networking allows people to grow to know, like, and trust you.

Networking is an opportunity to:

meet new people (they get to know you)
build relationships with folks you already know (they grow to like you over time)
let people experience you as a person by seeing you in action - they learn to trust you by watching:

how you treat other people
that you show up on time
that you help by volunteering
that you make a point to listen intently
that you make a point to help others to connect with each other
that you share resources often and with care
that you are generally a person with a positive attitude
that you are looking to give to the group that you are involved with

The building of trust is where the heavy lifting comes into play. This is where you must show your character, your integrity, your ability, and your kindness and concern for others.

When you look at networking as a kindness that you do for yourself by being kind and giving to others you begin to have a healthier, more organic, relationship with your networking efforts.

You become more like a farmer than a hunter. You realize that relationships take time and nourishment and continued care for the crop to grow. You realize that when you plant the seed of friendship and give it time to grow ... that there is an abundance of great things that will come your way.

Great, how do I get people to trust me?

The answer lies within you and your efforts AND I would like to suggest that you take a look at the list below and see how your efforts are in alignment with the ways people can see you in action.

Do you treat others with respect?
Do you show up on a regular basis?
Do you show up on time?
Do you make a point to help by volunteering?
Do you listen more than you talk?
Do you listen to hear? I mean really focused listening!
Do you ask questions that show you care and truly want to learn about the person you are talking with?
Do you spend more time being interested than trying to be interesting?
Do you ask "How will I know when a person I meet is a good referral for you?"
Do you make a point to help connect people in a meaningful way?
Do you share ideas, tips, articles, or books that you've read as resources that might help others?
Do you generally seek to help others first knowing that great things are coming your way as well?

These really are common sense courtesies and acts of kindness that you can put into use every single day no matter where you are.

I recently was listening to a tape by Dr. Wayne Dyer and I will leave you with this thought from that tape:

"Anyone can count the seeds in an apple ... but no one can count the apples in one seed"

I hope that the next time you are out networking, that you will remember to act like a Master Gardner and be sure to plant many wonderful seeds!

Learn more about the author, Zita Gustin.

Comment on this article

Posted by Howard Howell, Seattle, Washington | Feb 27, 2008

Bullseye ! Like your viewpoint.

Are you looking for a business mentor?
Posted by wendy Case, Kirkland, Washington | Feb 27, 2008

I loved your article. It makes you think and I have read Wayne Dyer and like what he has to say and the way he thinks. Great article! thank you
Posted by Danielle Villegas CLTC, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Great article....
Zita, Keep up the good work.
Posted by Debbie Whitlock, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Your article is an outstanding reminder for all experienced networkers, and those dipping their toe in the pool. Thank you for the wisdom you share from experience.
Posted by Dike Drummond, Mount Vernon, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Hey Zita,

Here are a couple more...

"You were given two ears and one mouth ... use them in that proportion."

"It is far better to be interested than interesting."

Empathy is the power skill of the power networker. That is ... concern and compassion for the other's issues and challenges,

That's the start .... and then a genuine desire to help or make a difference.

In business that empathy and that desire are the seeds that will grow into successful [and profitable] relationships.

Have a great day,

Dike Drummond
Posted by David Berkey, Edmonds, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Great article, Zita. If you don't mind, I'd like to copy the article and send it to my son (possibly to a few others). Before I do that, I'd like your permission.
Posted by Deborah Globus, Centerport, New York | Feb 28, 2008

I love your alanogy to hunting - it really puts a fine point on it. Athough relatively new to marketing I get around the hunter mentality by viewing what I do as an offering. Given the spiritual nature of my work it adds an element of deepening to the process (also helps with rejection, too, because offerings are out there to be accepted or not. Its no longer a personal rejection.) Thanks for sharing the creative view!
Posted by Becky-Joe ChongTim, Bay Point, California | Feb 28, 2008

I absolutely enjoyed your article about farming versus hunting. :) It takes time and effort to build relationships. Building relationships plays a big part in someone making the decision to work and refer you.

Personally, I like to know that when I am doing business with someone, they will be there when I need them later down the line.
Posted by Sue Burness, Toronto, Ontario Canada | Feb 28, 2008

Ditto! Sometimes it's challenging for solopreneurs to remain patient while establishing the relationships required for growth. We all come into business with our own expectations and living in a fast-paced, instant-results oriented world can lead to potentially disastrous business practices.

I love gardening AND Wayne Dyer but hadn't come across that quote-thanks!
Posted by Betsy Talbot, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

There's a good reason you are called The Savvy Networker!

The Everywoman Business Resource
Posted by Carrie Taylor, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

As always, well stated. Great analogy of hunter vs gardener.
Posted by Alvalyn Lundgren, Newbury Park, California | Feb 28, 2008

I've found that my best and most loyal clients are those that I actually have built relationship with. They stick with me over the long term and in that longevity I get to know them better and am able to design more effectively for them.

Thanks for your insights. They work.
Posted by Chris Haddad, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Hey Zita,

Good stuff. When I go out networking (and I do it a lot) I always lead by asking "What are you working on that you're really passionate about right now, and what can I do to help you with it?"

In fact I never ask for business from people. When they ask, I tell them what I do and how great I am at it, but my goal when I meet folks face to face is to develop relationships that will pay off months or years down the line.
Posted by Helen Martin, Mercer Island, Bellevue, Seattle, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Dear Zita:

Thanks for another reminder. I heard you speak last year at the I-90 Chamber Networking breakfast. I really liked your comment about when you are in a group circle to always leave a space open for someone else to join and when that space is taken open up again.

I look forward to hearing you speak again. P.S. What country do you want to travel to next?

Sincerely,

Helen

Mercer Island Realtor / Seattle & Bellevue Condos
Posted by Bret Percival, Maple Valley, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Very well written article Zita. Thank you.
Posted by Zita Gustin, Kirkland, Washington | Feb 28, 2008

Thank you to everyone for your favorable posts to this article. I appreciate your insight and your recommendations as well!

If you feel this article will help other people to understand this concept, you are more than welcome to share it and I always appreciate the courtesy of credit for writing the article.

If there is some aspect of networking that you would like to see future articles cover, please send me an email and I will do my best to address that issue.

Again, thank you!

Warmly,

Zita

The ABC's of Networking ... Always Be Connecting!
Posted by Lori Osterberg, Greenwood Village, Colorado | Feb 28, 2008

Great ideas, things we can all keep in mind when we're out meeting people.

I'll also add part of the fun now is networking online. You can take these same skills, and apply it to online networking sites, such as Facebook, LinkedIn, or Biznik. I've met so many people over the last few months; people I know I never would have met if I hadn't found them online.

What a great world we live in!
Posted by Judy Dunn, Renton, Washington | Feb 29, 2008

Zita,

It seems so basic yet it is a profound shift in thinking. I think that new business owners know it in their heart, that building relationships is a very necessary part of marketing and networking, but they are understandingly worried about generating income---as quickly as possible. I loved every one of your tips and can say from experience that the philosophy you propose really works.

Online Marketing Resources for Solopreneurs
Posted by Marty Grogan, Federal Way, Washington | Feb 29, 2008

What a slice of wisdom! I would love to do your (wisdom) portrait. Check out www.wisdomactivation.com/zita in about an hour to see your pallet.
Posted by Ilise Benun, Hoboken, New Jersey | Mar 03, 2008

Zita, thanks for this great article. It takes patience to be a farmer; that's why many like the idea but don't actually do it.

I also love your list of what people notice when they see you in action and what inspires trust. In fact, I might like to excerpt that for the Marketing Mix Blog (with a link back to you, of course).

Your points on gaining trust are excellent, particularly the point about listening intently. Without really understanding what someone does, it's impossible to know if they would even need your services. I think if all the hunters out there read your article, they'd find their networking to be a lot more successful.

Nobody likes being just another target! I stress the importance of networking to my clients, but many are scared because they think they have to sell, sell, sell. They are relieved when they find out that's not true!
Posted by Zita Gustin, Kirkland, Washington | Mar 03, 2008

Ilise,

I would be honored to have you excerpt from this article for your Marketing Mix Blog. This is a message that would do so much good for so many if only they understood the importance of building relationships and taking the long view on their networking efforts instead of seeking a short term gain.

You are so right, many people ARE uncomfortable about going out and networking because they've only seen one type of behavior modeled ... and that is the hunter eager for a sale. Most people don't like that approach, yet they think that's what they must do because that's what they've seen other folks doing.

Networking is a joyful experience when it is done with relationship building in mind.

I appreciate your desire to help to spread the word!

Thanks,

Zita

The ABC's of Networking ... Always Be Connecting!
Posted by Brian Keith , New york, New York | Mar 06, 2008

Thanks you for your Help!

Best,

Brian Keith
Posted by Howard Howell, Seattle, Washington | Mar 06, 2008

Zita... Thanks again for letting me quote you during my presentation last night at the "How to Toot Your Own Horn: Shameless Bragging for the Professional Networker". The feedback was great, so we will probably hold another. ...Howard

Are you looking for a business mentor?
Posted by Dana Henrickson, Seattle, Washington | Mar 07, 2008

Gardening, farming analogies are always effective in terms of business development; "you reap what you sew"--there is another!

Nice article, Zita.
Posted by Kare Anderson, Sausalito, California | Apr 17, 2008

Yes, that advice works for me
Posted by Banu Sekendur, Seattle, Washington | Apr 30, 2008

Great article, easy to read and remember. I also loved your title! :)