Be Kind to Your Clients; Pay Yourself First

Be honest. Are you living as well as your customers? If your rates aren't sufficient to pay yourself well, how will you take great care of anyone else?

Written Apr 08, 2008, read 1561 times since then.

Imagine you’re flying across the country with two young children. Takeoff was smooth, and the plane has reached cruising altitude. The lead flight attendant is announcing that you can now use electronic devices, when suddenly oxygen masks tumble from the compartments above your seats.

Your first thought is for the children. But do you reach for their masks first?

No. You put on your own mask and make sure that oxygen is flowing before seeing to the kids.

Every time we fly we are reminded to take care of ourselves first so that we can more effectively care for others. Apply the same principle when you set prices, and you’ll enjoy long, mutually rewarding relationships with your just-right customers.

You see, the more you care about your customers and clients, the more you want for them to get what they need to benefit from your work. That means doing whatever you can to deliver on your promises.

Promises to Keep
Every business transaction involves promises. Some of them are explicit: Evening appointments available. Some of them are subtle, as the promise of tranquility implicit in the colors and imagery on a massage therapist’s business card.

Ask yourself what promises you are making to your clients and customers. Ask them about their expectations. Make a list of explicit and implicit promises related to your products and services. (And I do mean to write it out. Keeping promises in your head is a slippery slope.)

It Takes What It Takes
When you have a working start on your list (it is likely to be a work in progress), ask yourself what it takes to deliver on these promises. Take some time with this, tracking not only obvious things like answering your phone but also underlying factors, such as cultivating a mood of warmth and welcome so that when you answer the phone you’re the kind of person you want your customers to hear on the other end of the line.

“Just Be Nice” Doesn’t Cut It
During one particularly desperate month in 1994, I put a sticky note on the handset of my phone. It said, “Be nice.”

In those days, I often felt as though every call that came in was just another energy suck. I was cranky, afraid, and resentful. Even if you’ve never sunk to such depths, I’m betting that some days it’s not so easy to be the person you want to be for your customers.

Need I say that my sticky note rarely inspired me to niceness? More often it reminded me that I was expected to give more than I got.

Who Expects What from Whom?
I won’t go into the gory details of my self-pity. Suffice it to say that, in time, I began to wake up to my complicity in this sad situation. Who was requiring me to give more than I was getting in return?

Only me.

Somehow I had come to believe that I should pay myself last. If I gave enough, worked hard enough, and believed in myself (!), surely people would eventually give me what I needed to thrive in my work.

Heaven forbid that I should ask for what I needed. That would be crass, craven, and self-indulgent.

And, come to find out, that would be the key to taking really good care of my clients and customers.

Why Oprah Gets the Big Bucks
I have no idea what Oprah gets for a speaking engagement or a book deal. I suspect that it’s more than my wildest imaginings. Not only does Oprah have a black belt in self-care, she’s got one in business, too.

Nobody’s surprised when Oprah asks for and gets the big bucks. But I’m not Oprah, and neither are you.

How You Can Get the Big Bucks
I know you’ve heard it before, and I’m here to say it again, earning good money starts from the inside out.

If you think that your colleagues who charge more than you are fleecing their clients, you’re not likely to raise your rates (and if you do, odds are you’ll wimp out and quote a lower price or resort to the ubiquitous and iniquitous sliding scale).

If you think that no one would pay you “that much,” you are almost certainly correct. How can they, when you aren’t asking for it?

And if you’ve ever bitten the bullet and jacked up your prices to a giddy height, then watched as no one – and I do mean no one – shows the slightest interest, you know that there’s more to getting paid well than asking for more than you think you deserve.

Which brings me to another deadly pricing premise: “I deserve it.” Ladies and gentlemen, deserving has nothing to do with it.

So how do you pay yourself well enough to deliver on your promises?

A New Pricing Paradigm
Paying yourself enough begins with charging enough, and that requires three things: seeing, counting, and standing.

Seeing
Seeing is all about making that list of things you want your customers to expect from you and getting clear about what it takes to deliver. Keep this list as a living document. When you have an experience that goes exceptionally well or badly, study your list and make changes based on what worked and what didn’t.

Counting
Counting is finding out what it costs to deliver on your promises. This includes the costs of giving the boss an occasional vacation, not to mention such things as continuing education, legal and accounting support, and a host of things that the accidental entrepreneur may be tempted to consider unreasonable and unfair expenses.

The only thing unreasonable and unfair about the costs of doing business is when we don’t account for them in our prices.

Standing
Standing is my favorite piece because, for me, it has been the key to the pricing puzzle.

Standing is about taking a stand for the well being of the entire system and not just some part of it. It means embodying your conscious commitment to caring for yourself, your work, and your clients. It takes practice to integrate this stance with quoting prices that, at first, may trigger old voices about excess and unworthiness. But practice is something you can do.

In mid-air or in business, taking care of yourself first is the key to taking care of others. Be nice to the people you most want to serve. Pay yourself first.

Learn more about the author, Molly Gordon.

Comment on this article

Posted by Carol Skolnick, Santa Cruz, California | Apr 08, 2008

Yeppers!
Posted by Marlene Rockey, Seattle, Washington | Apr 08, 2008

Molly,

Thank you for your thoughtful article...it was just what I needed!

marlene...transforming homes one room at a time
Posted by Keith Gormezano, Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Completely on point.

If you don't pay yourself a market rate, then how will you stay in business?

More importantly, if you go out of business, then how will you be able to serve your clients and how is that in their best interest?

Pay yourself first.

Dr. QuickBooks: I make house calls to teach you.
Posted by Judith Bennett, Kenmore, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

I think this may have been the peice of the puzzle that was missing for me. Thank you for this timely information. Great inspiraton with my morning coffee
Posted by Paul Spafford, Ottawa, Ontario Canada | Apr 10, 2008

I remember standing in my first client's office when he asked for my hourly rate. I very nervously told him, and waited to be thrown out.

He smiled and said, "Wow! That's great!"

That sucked. I thought that it should at least make him cringe a little. I raised my rate by $10/hour with each new client until I started getting the cringe, but not regularly losing the project.

It was a much higher rate: one that made my budding, then-part-time business much more lucrative, and eventually gave me the confidence to quit my "day-job".

Great article, Molly.
Posted by Dana Henrickson, Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

A very appropriate affirmation for the small business and solopreneurs out there. I believe your three steps are easy to understand, although, self admittedly, sometimes challenging to follow.

This is why it is a good and necessary tool for evaluating key elements of how we operate our respective businesses. Thanks.
Posted by Patricia Taran, Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Molly

I loved your article and how vulnerable you allowed yourself to be in the telling.

Just talking about this the other day with a colleague, almost verbatim, and I found your lightness and wisdom inspiring.

Thank you
Posted by Molly Gordon, Suquamish, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

I'm delighted that this struck a chord with folks.

Paul, your "raise by $10" strategy is so simple and practical. It's a great one for folks to copy.

And Dana, you are so right. This, like so many things in life and biz, is simple, not easy.

If I can love self-employment, so can you.
Posted by Jasmine Holmes, Gilbert, Arizona | Apr 10, 2008

After reading this article, I immediately started working on my list of promises. Having the list will help me to clarify my priorities (which can be hard when there are a million things be done) and feel justified in what I ask to be paid. If I am doing what it takes to meet those goals, then I know my price is worth it.

Thanks for the exercise. I think it will really help me to understand my commitment to my client's and my own "worth" to them.
Posted by Molly Gordon, Suquamish, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Jasmine,

Good for you! Taking action is key. It's easy for us to "get it" intellectually, then keep doing the same old/same old.

This business of the promises we make is huge. It may be the single most overlooked source of confusion and pain in business: we promise way more than we realize and those promises are invisible to us when it comes to estimating fees.

If I can love self-employment, so can you.
Posted by Nina Durfee, Sammamish, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Good thoughts, good presentation, good business. Thanks Molly!
Posted by Judy Dunn, Renton, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Most if us have struggled with this, Molly. You have put the solutions into simple language with concepts we can all wrap our arms around.

Each business is different, but the part about our promises to our clients and their expectations of us is a great place to start. Incorporating the promises and expectations causes us to realize the value of what we are offering and thus, what it is worth—to solve our customers' and clients' problems— in terms of dollars.

Thanks for sharing your insights with us, Molly.

Online Marketing Resources for Solopreneurs
Posted by Daenin Tejeda , Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

This is great, I will be working on my list of promises as a living document!

Great delivery.

Thanks so much, just what I needed.
Posted by Trishann Couvillion, Seattle, Washington | Apr 10, 2008

Thanks so much...This is exactly what I am struggling with in growing my business...Thanks for the thoughts!
Posted by Deborah Brown, Seattle, Washington | Apr 11, 2008

Fantastic article, Molly,

I especially like the suggestion to take stock after a particularly good or bad experience - especially the good ones, because those reinforce your own positive self-assessment. Thanks for the inspiration!
Posted by Kate Van Slyke, Pace, Florida | Apr 11, 2008

Thank you, Molly :o)

Timely for me, as well. Since relocating to Florida, travel along the Gulf Coast is cutting deep into what little I've asked for. The benefits my work brings to my clients are far-reaching, and most can easily afford to pay more. Their gratitude and a small fee seemed compensation enough at first, while I gained experience. Now it's time to get real - I appreciate the validation that we need to take care of ourselves to truly do our best for others. I, too, am making my promise list.
Posted by RJ McHatton, Bellevue, Washington | Apr 11, 2008

Thanks for an excellent article.
We really want to give to our clients, so much, that many times we hurt ourselves.
Great advice. Thank you.
Posted by rickey gold, chicago, Illinois | Apr 11, 2008

Terrific article. Unfortunately, most freelancers and startups go through this. I'm bookmarking your article to share with the next one I meet! Thanks much!
Posted by Aamer Iqbal, Lahore, Punjab Pakistan | Apr 11, 2008

One formula of setting rates that I found effective was fixed expenses X 4. This gave me latitude to cover unforeseen expenses, as well as build a nest egg. People still cringe at this, but when you are self-employed, your customers should be the ones who can pay! So your target market/niche includes successful people who can be more successful working with you.
Posted by Lee Ann Czerwonka, Plumsteadville, Pennsylvania | Apr 11, 2008

Thank you for taking the time to post this article. I love it!!
Posted by Twylia Westling, Tacoma, Washington | Apr 15, 2008

Thank you so much! This article was not only informative but entertaining as well. Very timely information for me as I am currently working toward getting my practice off the ground! I will be working on my list of promises!
Posted by Laura Lavigne, Anacortes, Washington | Apr 15, 2008

Thank you Thank you, Molly.

Very timely and so well executed.

Laura
Posted by Banu Sekendur, Seattle, Washington | Apr 30, 2008

Well written and informative. Excellent job Molly! :)
Posted by Molly Gordon, Suquamish, Washington | Apr 30, 2008

:) Sometimes I feel a bit like a crank in terms of my response to "abundance," etc. Our culture can exert a lot of pressure on us to always be up, always positive, always thriving.

Nature seems to think that decay, lying fallow, and even dying are part of the great Life dance. Why shouldn't we?

Molly

If I can love self-employment, so can you.
Posted by Alma Gray, Akron, Ohio | Aug 06, 2008

Good article. If you doubt your own value, so will others.