Common Threads -- Attracting Your Ideal Client

How do your knowledge, your passion, and your surmounted challenges attract your ideal client?

We most easily relate to and trust others who “know how we feel.” Like attracts like. Adhering to our own values and authentically living our passion naturally hooks those who will benefit from what we offer.

Our greatest fictional heroes are those who are flawed, whose personal shortcomings get in the way of their success. What makes them heroic is that they acknowledge their flaws and move forward anyway, learning and growing in the process. Honest, vulnerable admission of imperfection says I trust you.

Opening lines

The standard opener, “What do you do?” shoots you in the foot. The answer may well leave you flat, and it erects a personal barrier between you and your Potential Client (PC). As your eyes glaze over while your PC details the technical aspects of blueprinting or secretarial duties or the distinctions between annuities and life insurance, conversation becomes stunted.

“Tell me about yourself” opens the door wider. Commonality surfaces when we acknowledge feelings and being rather than doings. Find out (1) what floats their boat and (2) what keeps them up at night. Form a solid bond by understanding and relating with your own feelings of passion and worry.

Shared feelings connect us and harbor trust. When I trust you with my passion or my angst, I establish commonality and invite you to trust me.

What brings people together?

At first glance, it seems people come together for practical reasons. Book clubs, sewing clubs, outdoor clubs, community organizations offer a common practical thread of connection. But underlying the ostensible purpose of reading, sewing or hiking is the personal or spiritual enrichment thread: escape, therapy, mental rejuvenation, support, time for me. My friend says that what she gets from her quilting group is emotional nourishment. When it comes down to it, our ultimate purpose in doing anything is personal and spiritual fulfillment.

Identifying the common thread

When I attended an introductory lecture on Transcendental Meditation (TM), the speaker voiced a broad message about Pure Awareness, All Possibilities, Source Energy, Pure Potential. It was flowery language that was meaningless for me at the time.

Then he mentioned that practicing TM had helped relieve the kink in his neck. I had a knot in my shoulder that wouldn’t go away, and this sounded like the solution to my problem! My personal connection to his kink in the neck was our common thread, the hook that sold me to learn the technique.

What sparks a gleam in your PC’s eye? What are his challenges and passions, and how do they relate to your challenges and passion? Convey that, and you earn his trust. Now he’s ready to sink his teeth into whatever solution you offer for his problem.

The elements of attraction

To attract your ideal client, answer three simple questions:

1.    Knowledge: What do I know? Professionally, personally, spiritually, innately. List everything. All of it plays into what you have to offer your PC.

2.    Passion: What’s rings my chime? Passion requires no expertise, but it energizes, spawns creativity, and fulfills the soul. Feel your passion, and you will form a bond with your PC.

3.    Experience: With respect to my expertise or my passion, what challenges have I faced and surmounted? What problem do others have that your service or product has helped you to solve for yourself? Tell your story. People who face similar challenges will eat it up. This is your hook.

STEPS TO TIE THE CONNECTING THREAD

1.    Know and live your authentic values.

2.    Be more curious about who people are than about what they do.

3.    Acknowledge what you know.

3.    Engage with passion as you explore the passion of others.

4.    Identify challenges you have faced and surmounted.

5.    Recognize what role your service or product played in surmounting the challenge.

6.    Share your story that connects with the heart of your Potential Client.