Fear of Honesty

“Tell your boss what you really think of him and the truth shall set you free.”  —Patrick Murray

Beliefs may prevail regarding the appropriateness of self-inquiry in a business setting. We have been taught that it’s not professional (and also not safe) to expose our feelings at work; we could be seen as weak, insecure, inefficient, too emotional, or worse. In addition, it could be risky to focus on what's troubling us in our fix-it, solutions-oriented society. Better to brush it under the rug, pull up or socks. I had a boss who, when I returned to work a week after my father's death, and still very tender, "You know, Carol, it's better to plunge yourself into your work rather than dwell on your personal problems." 

However, feelings are already abundantly apparent in every workplace, oftentimes expressed in unhealthy ways. (My boss tried to cover his via copious intake of alcohol.)  It can in fact be detrimental to a career or a business to react emotionally on the job and not explore our feelings sanely.

This doesn’t mean we have to air our dirty laundry in front of the boss or co-workers. Although group inquiry work may be preferable in certain instances, such as "mutinies" (haven’t you noticed that what they really think of you is rarely as bad as what you thought they thought?), the beauty of the inquiry process is its equal effectiveness whether done on one’s own in private, with others in a group setting, or one-on-one with a facilitator.

Over the years, I have facilitated people who work in (and have been fired from) all kinds of business situations: coaches, therapists, and counselors…white, pink, and blue-collar workers…executives, managers, and home-based entrepreneurs…the overextended, and the underemployed or unemployed…those who can’t wait to retire, and those who feel unfulfilled in retirement. A pair of squabbling business partners were among my very first clients.

In each case, my clients thought there was something very wrong. Either there was wrong-doing aimed at them, or their co-workers, partners, colleagues, direct reports or supervisors were "doing it wrong," or they were in the wrong career. Thoughts like these keep us from presence, the real work of our work...contributing to illness, attrition, low productivity, poor communication, low morale, inflexibility, fear of change, lack or creativity, and other workplace issues.

I have come to see that in every moment, even when I was temporarily disabled, lying flat on my back, and doing nothing but “being breathed,” I have always had the perfect job. I am always working with the right people. I have always been successful. Until I can see this as the truth 100%, my real work—the work of the heart—is not done.

Do you want to see real transformation in your workplace? Look at your paradigms and your habits with regards to your people, your goals, your customer service, your personal satisfaction, the way you communicate. Which ones are no longer working for you? What is the reality as opposed to the "should"?

“Your true job is to appreciate what is; your primary profession is to be clear.”  —Byron Katie