Brian M. Wise
Technical Communication, Editing and Content Production; Professional Loudmouth and Heckler

Infinite Simians

• GTalk: brianmwise
• Skype: zymyrgy

Us Write Pretty.

Infinite Simians is currently seeking partner writers, editors, content providers, production managers, and outsource partners for a variety of projects, and slowly phasing out the army of infinite simians at the typewriters.

Look, the monkeys are unionizing. Bananas are more expensive with the price of diesel oil, and frankly, I'm tired of showing Planet of the Apes, The Wizard of Oz and Dunstan Checks In 24/7 in the break room. And these typewriters don't repair themselves.

Infinite Simians offers full-scale writing and communications development projects. We are currently accepting RFQs for editing, short white papers, readability passes, simpified English editing and writing projects, as well as short-term journalism and research articles. Press releases, story outlines and information packets, manuals and styleguides may be considered on a contingency basis.

What do we sound like? What do YOU sound like?

Informal, formal, hip, hick, chick, lit, high, low, punk, schmoe, indie, artsy, funny, witty, wry, dry or provocatively juxtaposed, we can write it or give you the voice you want for the audience you want to talk to most.

Infinite Simians has experience with public utility documentation, technical journalism, product manuals, software, hardware, technical proposals, business proposals, and even just hitting the F7 key for you. Not a writer? Somewhere, there's a monkey just waiting for you to give him a banana.

Viva Evolution!

Take your concepts and develop them into concise information flows that allow your ideas to come across clearly. Can't do it? Hire a writer monkey.

I've experience writing English as a Second Language Standard, Chicago Manual of Style, Microsoft Styleguide, MilSpec, ATA 2200, and can develop the manuals for your product or vision with a professional level of attention and detail. Or, I can write a communication plan for you, your business, and your future.

Document Archival Systems? Done. Redundant archival for your business documents? Got that too. Want to self-publish a short run of books to float to publishers? On it. If it's written, we can help. And we don't even make you go to the Home Despot for it.

I have a professional network of independent writers and editors who specialize in the freelance work I do, and share it. If I cannot help you, I'll always pass your information on to someone who might.

I can also write your blog for you, ghost-write your introductions, scan emails, play Grammar Hound to your Writing Fox, and get you relevant quickly. Sometimes the most successful small business owner can't type without using two fingers and staring at the keyboard; or you're wondering how to take your documents and templates to the next level.

Don't waste time or effort when you have an army of writer monkeys at your disposal. Literally.

I also work on a noncompetition clause, which means that your product, and only yours, is what I will work on or revise during our time together. If I cannot work on your project due to a conflict of interest, I notify you immediately. I also provide revision service to documents, as well as archival services, and am able to set up document control systems and information workflow processes.

Current projects include editing a first-time educational work of nonfiction, developing safety and health manuals for small metropolitain water quality consultancy firms, nonprofit organization procedural writing, isometric component repair manuals and grant applications.

Free Verse I also write, edit, and read fiction, nonfiction, and personal essays. Unfortunately for the poets, my ear is tuned to Yeats and Silverstein, and like a drunken Irish calliope tender, have gotten eternally stuck in their sparkly rhythms with only forays into the moors of Robbie Burns to snap me out of it.

I am also Googled, cited, quoted, plagarized, and recorded with astonishing frequency these days, though not for the above projects, and have the dubious distinction of claiming fifteen years of arguing with people on the Internet.

Right now? I need a junior writer who has a technical background in information design, editing, and writing for a short-term contract through my day job. This may also work into a consistent long-term B2B writing gig and blogging gig.

University of Oregon, School of Communications, Journalism and Computer Science minor, with focii in Political Advertising Theory, Mass Media, and Information Science.

Twelve years experience working in technical communication for Pacific Rim clients in software, aerospace, manufacturing and electrical hardware components, with empahsis on localization and translation services and manual design, process, procedure, and legacy applications and communications. Experience in FAA-approved interior modification specification, avionics, specialized software, and custom applications. Published professional article ghost-writer, blogger, and editor for content. Herder of cats and professional enabler, project manager and experienced editor-in-chief. Also, known as the ex-boyfriend who once tried to correct a government sign with spraypaint and/or Sharpie to not just one, but two separate (yet equally patient) women.