Dina Beach Lynch

Giving Feedback That Works Without Feeling Guilty!

Attended

Hosted by Dina Beach Lynch in Boston, Massachusetts

Type: Educational Workshop
When: Thursday, November 12 6:30 PM to 7:30 PM

Members:

Free

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Event description

Ever said, I wish I'd said something? when someone totally disappoints you or puts you in a tough situation? Everyone struggles with how to give feedback without stepping on toes or feeling bad.

There is a way to give honest feedback that's positive and productive, and we're going to talk about it during this summit. You'll also learn how to receive feedback from clients or colleagues in a way that earns you respect.

All wedding professionals are welcome! Send any questions you want answered during the call to info@positivelywed.com

Because this is a beta workshop, it's free for you to attend. Please be sure to register and do the brief survey that comes with your dial in details.

How Happy Do You Want Your Work Life to Be?

1 Biznik attended this event

Janis Flagg

Event Planning & Design

Kent, Washington

Discuss this event

Posted by Deborah Thibodeau, Bellingham, Washington | 2 weeks ago

Hi Dina - This sounds like a great event and I would love to take part! As my Biznik group Pacific Northwest Wedding Vendors is obviously on the west coast, I assume this will be set up as a conference call? Could you please confirm this so that I can send an email to all group members about the event? Thank you. Best Wishes, Deborah Thibodeau, www.TheSimplyOrganizedBride.com
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 2 weeks ago

Hey Deborah, thanks so much for RSVPing and sharing this with your group! Yes, this is a teleconference at 6:30 pm EST Thurs, 11/12

Please register to get the dial in details:

http://positivelywed.com/brideability-summit-giving-feedback/

So grateful to have you on the call. Bring questions! Best, Dina

http://www.positivelywed.com/
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 2 weeks ago

Thanks for passing the word on about this. I'm looking forward to this.
Posted by Deborah Thibodeau, Bellingham, Washington | 2 weeks ago

Hi Dina - I'm so sorry but I'm not going to make it for the teleconference after all. I just realized that with your event taking place in EST, I would be double booked with a previous appointment. I hope it goes well and I hope you will offer another teleconference in the future. Best Wishes, Deborah
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 2 weeks ago

Oh, Deborah, I completely understand. You'll laugh to learn that IM actually double-booked. (my teenage son tells me Sunday his 1st performance as Iago in Othello is THIS Thursday! Luckily, there's a Friday show)

Thanks for the good wishes. The call will be recorded, so if you register you'll get the audio. And, I'm planning a Dec call on the 'art and law' of contracts. Details to come!
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 1 week ago

I can tell by looking at your website that your blog is going to be on my required reading list! I love the way you bridge "the gap" between the wedding professional and the client. Weddings are much more complex and emotional than those involved think it will be until they get to a certain point in the planning process. I think this is the point that a lot of people choose the one-day coordination option with some vendor searches thrown in there.

Glad to find you on Biznik!!
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 5 days ago

Janis, thanks a bunch. You are a real trouper, and I appreciate your patience with the tech glitch. The 'Cliff Notes' version of the call will be available soon.

Meanwhile, could I ask a favor? I know what' I'd like to teach next, but really want to know what wedding pros like you want/need. Any ideas would be appreciated!

Biznik is one of my fav communities because it's filled with smart, responsive, friendly folks like you.
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 5 days ago

Dina, thanks! You're so very generous. Shall we call you, Dina, the dilemma diminisher! Maybe I can touch on a topic that deals with conflict and also the law!

I'm sure there are as many different topics as there are wedding professionals. In regards to their guests consuming alcohol, in Washington State the bride and groom are considered hosts of their wedding/event. This puts them in a place of liability if a guest causes a wreck or worse yet maims or kills someone from drinking and driving.

How would you suggest that we handle a situation when a client does not think that event insurance or something else in a different situation, is necessary or even a good idea? I hear a lot, "No one will get drunk, I don't think that will be a problem!" It always frightens me thinking of a couple starting out their married life with the possibility of this happening. Maybe I could just ask how would you handle or try to convince people of something they think they don't need? They are adults. We can be the bearer of bad news in trying to protect clients, but we aren't going to and can't practice law.

I don't know if this might be what you had in mind. It certainly causes me stress if someone thinks that a law won't apply to their situation. You can't exactly tell a client that if their head is in the sand, their you know what is up in the air! Sorry about that not-so-pretty little picture, but... 8)
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 5 days ago

Janis, brilliant question!! It goes straight to the heart of persuasion, something anyone in business should know something about.

Here's what I propose. A short answer here, then I'll write a more detaiedl post for my blog. You, of course, are welcome to email me with questions.

From my perspective, it is part of a wedding planners job to make clients aware of issues, obstacles and such that could ruin their big day. Trouble is, as you so rightly point out, clients are adults who can make their own decisions.

You're right you can't practice law (and it isn't my intention to do that when offering this advice). What you CAN do is be clear about the danger with clients and protect yourself.

If I were a planner or caterer I would make the info about drinking and liability part of my standard contract language that clients must initial. That starts the paper trail, although you hate to have to use it.

Next, I'd make that provision part of my contract discussion (the most important part-we'll talk about this more in December's call). The key here is to paint the picture with questions so clients understand that they may not get what they want (happy wedding day) if they aren't thoughtful. They discover for themselves through their answers that they don't want to be responsible instead of you telling them. No one wants to be told, sadly, even when it's good advice.

Last point, and this will probably raise some eyebrows. Your comment that you can't tell clients they're acting foolishly (a paraphrase of the nice way you put it), is one I hear all the time from hesitant business owners who fear losing clients.

Truth is- you can help people understand that they are acting against their best interest without judging them or making them feel stupid. It's all about your intention and approach.

Hope that helps. And, thanks so much for the insights you've given me.
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 5 days ago

Thank you, Dina! I love your perspective and wonderful advice. Great solutions! Sometimes we just can't see the forest for the trees! I'm really looking forward to your next call! You are offering a wonderful service and hope that you get a lot of response from people to help you and to promote your business!
Posted by Deborah Thibodeau, Bellingham, Washington | 5 days ago

Hi Janis & Dina - This sounds like a great idea for an article to be posted to the Biznik group, Pacific Northwest Wedding Vendors. I'm sure there are many other wedding professionals who face this issue. Dina, maybe when your blog post is ready you wouldn't mind sharing it with the group? Best Wishes, Deborah Thibodeau, www.TheSimplyOrganizedBride.com
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 4 days ago

It would be my pleasure, Deborah. And, Janis I hope your good wishes come true! I'll give a heads up here when I post. Thanks!
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 3 days ago

As promised, here's my extended discussion on how to talk with clients about difficult news.

http://positivelywed.com/ask-dina-being-the-bearer-of-bad-news/

I'd love to read your comments on the post. Many thanks, Dina
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 3 days ago

I love it, Dina! You have found your niche in what you are doing! Wonderful information that could apply to many situations.

It's made me think that I will add a separate document and/or add a page in the contract for the bride and groom to check off that they have read and fully understand each of their vendors' contracts on an ever-expanding vendor list. They could take this page home to think about for a while giving them time to really read the fine print or lead them to questions to ask of vendors that they have yet to add. It could be designed to be fun project! In my mind I see a thermometer that shows progress towards a goal to wonderful wedding day, or a walk down the aisle and each row of pews they walk by is another vendor they can mark off.

It could an be an educational tool to include in an introductory information packet on how we have their best interests at heart.

I always tell my clients that great and unique results are the end product of many "stupid questions" or "weird ideas" with a lot of brainstorming! Ideas with some tweaking can end up with something very useful.
Posted by Dina Beach Lynch, Boston, Massachusetts | 1 day ago

Janis, you GO girl! I can't say how happy you've made me. You took that information and really made it your own. That's exactly what I hope to help wedding pros do!

The idea for a checklist is brilliant. Peace of mind for you, a feeling of accomplishment for them. So, win-win.

One small suggestion. I'd keep the signed copy of the checklist and give them a copy for home. Proof for you, reminder for them. ;)

Ideas with tweaking=collaboration: co- laboring, the name of the game when it comes to success!
Posted by Janis Flagg, Kent, Washington | 1 day ago

Good suggestion on the checklist!! Thanks and have a wonderful weekend. I'm planning on reading and getting ready for a meeting and that's all!!