Thanks for exploring many issues here, Andrew!
Certainly the awareness of our patterns in relationship is well worth exploring, which allows us the concious choice to shift them. This is, of course, true in both personal and professional relationships of all sorts.
I so appreciate the preciousness you assign to those who adore us, and couldn't agree more. However, I am often asked by people (especially other health care providers) about "taking on" other people's "stuff" through my work. It has almost never been an issue for me in my own practice. I'm not sure how to explain this exactly, but here are my impressions so far:
1- I'm simultaneously completely open to knowing each client's absolute perfection (in every moment), and holding them in a place of unconditional love, AND, my boundaries are clear. I am present, I listen, I sympathize, empathize, and then work to support their innate potential in being fully expressed. It's their experience, their life, their perfection, not mine.
2- I also believe that every experience we encounter provides the opportunity to integrate a new bit of life experience into the wholeness and richness of who we are as individuals. For someone in a role such as yours or mine, we have the opportunity to integrate not only our life experiences, but by the act of genuine witnessing, we also receive the gift of being able to additionally integrate experiences shared with us. For me, the only way we can "take on" their "stuff" in a negative way would be if we are unable to integrate it. This could cause an overload to our own system, and we might experience it in an unpleasant way until we are able to process the information/experience. Otherwise, we simply benefit from it. I'm sure you can relate to that from your own work. So, I think it is of ultimate importance for providers to do the things, or seek the care, that help them keep their channel open. By avoiding a backlog of unprocessed stuff (life experiences of any kind) in our beings and systems, we are much less likely to become overloaded in the moment, with clients, with colleagues, and with loved ones.
Thank you for a thought provoking article. I think I may need to go make an entry in my own blog on the topic! :)