Your 100th Birthday Party

Most of us don’t get a second life. Or do we?

One morning in 1888, Alfred awoke to a newspaper article written by a French reporter that gave him the chills. There in black and white, on the front page of the obituary section, he was being described as the “Merchant of Death”. In fact, his also infamous brother had died suddenly, and the paper had switched their names in error. In truth, Alfred was the inventor of dynamite and had amassed a fortune from the manufacture and sale of explosives. He saw himself as a man who was making the world a better place in the building roads and tunnels. To his dismay, he discovered that the world viewed him much differently.

Alfred Nobel spent the rest of his life rewriting history by developing the most valued of prizes given to those who have done the most for the cause of world peace. We are now familiar with the Nobel Prizes awarded each year in Stockholm, Sweden. Fortunately, for the world, Alfred Nobel was given a second life. The same can be true for you.

In 1972, I was asked this question by an individual whom I highly respected, “What do you want it to say on your tombstone?” In order to bring the question into the here and now, I changed the question to, “What DOES it say on my tombstone?” The question bothered me to such an extent that I decided to get up at 6:00 a.m. every morning, go to my office, sit at my desk with a cup of tea, and attempt to answer the question. After four months, on April 7th, I had finally arrived at an answer. It scared me to such an extent that I avoided telling anyone for six months.

This simple exercise literally changed my life. For the first time, I was now writing my own script. Until then, I had been living out dutifully the script written by my parents, my older sister and her husband, and others, and worse yet, I didn’t even know it! I was actually living my life in a way that they thought was best for me, bless their hearts. I will now give you the secret to doing this exercise that I had once made so difficult.

YOU GET TO MAKE IT UP!

And you get to change it whenever you please. My epitaph has now evolved into a full page story of my 100th birthday. What do I be, do and have at that event. Guess what? At least half of the goals I described over thirty years ago have come to pass. It is important to see it big as you will have ample time to accomplish whatever you come up with. What will emerge from this process, and rise as cream to the surface, are your authentic passions and values in life.

In my small group seminars, once participants have established some degree of familiarity with each other, I ask them to make up, create in detail, their 100th birthday party. Who are the guests attending? Where is the party located? What are you being acknowledged for by friends and family? I then give them one week, not four months, to come back and share their story.

The result of this exercise is encouraging. Most of the time, we hear how the world is a better place because of this one individual, his/her vision and contributions. We also hear of a number of Nobel Prize recipients. I remember one lady who had just turned 75 years of age, and she was beside her self with glee. Before the class, she had been in a mode of preparing herself and her estate. This was more than just wise action, which we all do. She was preparing herself to die, and she knew it. After the exercise, she go so excited when she realized that she had a lot more living to do. She informed us, “I’m going to go right out and get my teeth fixed and start taking dancing lessons because I know I have at least 25 more good years!”

Whether you live to be a hundred years or more doesn’t really matter. What does seem to matter more than anything is to keep creating goals, and primarily, having a goal to be full of health and enjoying life until your last breath.

I am always amazed by the energy in the room when someone is sharing their made-up 100th birthday. What does this have to do with business? Everything! For me, business is where I learn about life. It has been said that the two arenas where you have ample opportunity to learn the most while you are on this planet is in relationships and in the market place. I am convinced this is true. Focusing on my 100th birthday helps me stay present in these two arenas. A most unusual side benefit from doing this exercise is that it has given me tremendous freedom in all areas of my life.

I hope your 100th birthday is as exciting as mine.

Remember, Alfred Nobel made it up. So can you!