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Listen to Win: 4 Tips to Avoid Danger Zones
Understanding the power of listening allows you to create far greater results in your communications. Mastering 4 simple tips to avoid the pitfalls of a "talkers danger zone" will give you the listener's winning edge.
By Jenifer Novak Landers
Listen to Win !
Recall connecting with someone you instantly knew was “A Talker”. Did you want to move forward with them? Was your resistance mildly nauseating? Better yet, recall a time when you connected with someone who instantly transported you into a warm light of strength connection and you experienced potential, and possibility . . . THIS is authentic connection. THIS is what happens when you are a good listener.
There are “4 Danger Zones” that create negative energy. Each danger zone turns people off, and barricades you from the opportunity to WIN by Listening.
First, master these four tips in order to steer clear from the Danger Zones:
Tip #1, Being Present
Tip #2 Reaching Out
Tip #3 Expressiveness
Tip #4 Self-Understanding
Keep these tips in your tool bag while we enter “awareness-territory” so you can coach yourself into a successful listening opportunity. Remember, lend and ear and it will pay you back 10-fold.
Danger Zone #1
BEING DISTRACTED. You are not at all in the moment. Your mind and energy is somewhere or with something else. Are you using a gadget? Is something that beeps near you? Are you carrying residual from a previous interaction that has nothing to do with your current scene? You are narrow focused and inflexible which gives the impression you cannot handle anything unexpected or worse yet, you would be unable to shift gears instantly. This is NOT a reassuring or supportive energy. If you had 3rd eye vision, you could see the gold dust slipping through your fingers as you stay there in this dangerous distraction zone.
Danger Zone #2
BEING GUARDED. You are delivering rather than receiving. You are a monologue rather than a dialog. Most importantly you are talking and you are not listening. Relationships are built with empathy and listening, yet your energy is like a fortress where you can shoot through the walls, but let nothing in. What kind of authenticity and communication is possible here? Zilch.
Danger Zone #3
WITHOLDING: Your emotions are suppressed and edited; you are cutting yourself off from delivering a congruent message by keeping a game face on. Typically you are also limiting your body language. Your big mistake is your “persona” voice . You are using a certain persona or an identity in the name of being “professional”. Be YOU and let it flow!
Danger Zone #4
DISCONNECTING: Your self-awareness is too low for your own good. You are cutting yourself off from your integrity, passion and values by not accepting yourself for truly who you are. You have fumbled your game, and your charisma is flat-lined.
Get yourself out of the danger zones and into the Winners Circle by embracing the 4 tips and using your new listening mastery.
Just as you can tell instantly when someone or something is “off”, you can also tell when someone is connecting authentically. You can feel it and know it. Combine the four tips into your authentic self, make a commitment to LISTEN way more than you talk, and you are OUT of the danger zones for good!
Learn more about the author, Jenifer Landers.
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