Honoring our animal soul mates

My oldest dog, Chewy, recently had his first injury that has smacked me in the face with the fact that he is not a young dog anymore. 

Chewy will be twelve this year, and I recently discovered that he has a slipped disc in his spine.  The x-rays show that he's had this for a while, but never let on.  Something must have pushed him past his threshold, because a couple of weeks ago, he was suddenly in more pain than I have ever seen him. He didn't want to move. He was holding his abdomen really tight and was acting totally freaked out, like he was in trouble. When I let him outside to try to get him to go to the bathroom, he would just lie down.

I thought it was a digestive issue at first, but after we took x-rays, we saw that his gut was not obstructed or contorted, but we did see that there was no space between two of his vertebrae, where a disc is supposed to be to cushion the bones. This is an issue that long-backed dogs are susceptible to. He is a German shepherd cross, and indeed has a long back.

I have been aware that he is "older", but he has always been such a strong, vital dog, he didn't really act his age, and I didn't relate to him as "old".

Overnight, my youthful, older dog turned into someone I can't even take for a walk. This is hopefully temporary, as he heals and stabilizes, but I will, from now on, have to be mindful about his physical activity. No more herding or jumping for him...swimming and walking are about the extent to which I can exercise with him.

As I can't imagine life without him, and don't want to, I know in my heart that this is part of the deal. Dogs don't live as long as we do, and we must accept that we will have to say goodbye someday, to our most precious loved ones. 

I try not to dwell on this too much, and indulge the tears that are waiting right behind my eyes. With the help of diet, acupuncture, chiropractic, Reiki, and massage, Chewy has a good chance at living several more years, comfortable and happy.

I will do everything I know to do, to help him heal and live in health, but at the end of the day, I must accept that beyond that; I have no control.  I don't know when, but I will someday, have to say goodbye to him; and accept the transformation of our relationship from physical to spiritual. He will always be in my heart, he will always be with me, and I will always feel blessed that I have the privilege of being a member of his family.

Presently, and forever, instead of fearing his death, I will remind myself to celebrate his life and the gifts and lessons his spirit has lovingly shared with mine.

For those of you who have lost an animal soul mate and still tear up when you talk about them years later: Don't apologize for crying. I honor the depth of your relationship and I understand your sadness in missing their physical presence...still.