When Goals Aren't Achieved

Goal setting is an important part of success, but sometimes we just can't achieve a goal that we have set. 

What if I can't complete a goal?
There are a number of approaches that you can take if you find that you are having difficulty in completing one of your goals.   This is especially true  if you begin to doubt whether the goal is achievable or worth the effort.

Ø      Don't get discouraged.  It's worth noting that many of life's most difficult accomplishments are also some of the most worthwhile. And the most noteworthy accomplishments are, by definition, not common. That's because, if something were easy, then everyone would be doing it and it would no longer be very noteworthy. Not only is there nothing wrong with taking on tough challenges, many believe there is something wrong with only taking on easy goals that require no real effort or growth. 

Ø      Recognize partial accomplishment.  Partial accomplishment is still accomplishment. Suppose you're living a physically inactive lifestyle and you set a goal to start running 5 miles every week. If you only manage to run three miles most weeks, then it's important to recognize that this is a huge improvement over not running at all and that you have been much more successful than if you had never set the goal in the first place.

Ø      Break large, difficult goals into smaller, manageable goals.  Large, difficult, or complex goals can be both overwhelming and discouraging if progress does not come quickly. The solution  is to break the big goal into smaller or action steps. By shelving some of the pieces until a later date, you can avoid feeling overwhelmed or discouraged.

Ø      Use your personal support group.  When appropriate, call on trusted family and friends to help if they can, even if it just means lending encouragement.  Be careful however not to let them dissuade you as to your dreams and goals.   Try to find people who've got first-hand experience doing what you're doing trying to do. Many people will give time and advice when they meet somebody else who's curious or passionate about whatever it is they're passionate about.

Ø      Don't give up to soon.  You are the only one who can decide when enough is enough and that it's time to move on to something different. Unfortunately, many people give up too soon, and some even establish a tradition of completing 50% of many things but 100% of nothing.  Be persistent and hang in there.

Dealing with fear of failure.
Fear of failure is a realistic and scary thing for many people, and often the reason that individuals do not attempt the things they would like to accomplish. But the only true failure is failure to make the attempt. If you don't try, you gain nothing, and life is too short a thing to waste.  

On the other hand, if you do try but don't succeed, then it's a learning experience for which you are probably a better person, with more knowledge and skill than before-all the better equipped for the next attempt.

If you try and only partially succeed, you still had more success than you had before. For example, a man once had a goal to save $1,000 by a certain date. On that date, he only had $850 saved. His friend told him he failed, but the friend was flat wrong because the man had $850 more than he would not have had if he hadn't set the goal in the first place. The world is not always black-and-white. Shades of gray often do exist and partial success is still success.

Ø      Dealing with actual failure This is important: "Failure" only occurs when you fail to try in the first place or when you give up on a goal you want to achieve without having first given it your best effort.  Missed deadlines are not failures. Setbacks are not failures.  Disappointments maybe, but not failure.   Unexpected challenges or changing priorities are not failures (in fact, they're quite normal). Feeling discouraged doesn't mean you failed. You can only fail if you quit, and there's an easy solution to that,  just commit to keep going.

Ø      Keep going or start again.  So long as you are working toward your goal and following a plan, you haven't failed. If you stop, just start back up again. And remember, every step forward, every single task you check off as completed is a small accomplishment unto itself. Focus on just taking that next baby step, then the next, then the next. If the tasks are too difficult, then break them down into absurdly simple tasks, ones that you're guaranteed to complete. It may seem ridiculous to break down something as simple as cleaning a garage into forty individual tasks, but in doing so, you can build momentum with each task checked off. It's a bit like playing a game with yourself, but it really works

Staying focused and on track.  This means accepting personal responsibility for staying on track and pursuing your goals.   It's not up to anyone else, just you. You alone decide what you want to accomplish, and when. Life has a way of distracting us from what we'd like to be doing much of the time, so use periodic reminders as part of your action plan to help keep part of your attention on your short- and long-term goals.

It's okay to change dates as you go.
Recognize that most deadlines are self-imposed and act as a tool to empower and motivate you. They exist to help you complete a task, not to cause you stress or feelings of failure if you miss them. As you pursue a goal, action plan deadlines can be re-set as circumstances warrant. When a task is past-due, either complete the task and check it off or immediately reset the deadline to a new, realistic date and keep working on the task.